Vent: DH spending money we don't have (long)

MarthaP18

So my DH is completely irresponsible with money. He knows it, I know it, and so it's mutually agreed that I'm responsible for our finances. Of course this makes me have to be "mean mommy" all the time because he wants to buy luxury things that we absolutely don't need and I'm constantly having to say no to everything.

Well, Wednesday he told me he needed to put gas in his truck, so I gave him $20. He didn't have to work anymore this week so there's really no reason for him to waste more gas than that. Then yesterday, a friend paid him back $20 that he owed him. So this morning, I go to check the bank account online and I see that he charged gas yesterday on his credit card. The credit card is for EMERGENCIES ONLY, meaning so that nobody is stranded without money for gas and stuck with no way to get home. WTH is he doing charging our last $20 on the credit card (which now has only $1 available credit)? So I call him and tell him A) not to use the credit card for even a penny because then we'll be charged the over-the-limit fee, and why is he using the credit card when he had the $20 I gave him plus the $20 from his friend. His response? He only put $10 in gas with what I gave him and he's been eating out breakfast and lunch pretty much every meal. We have a fridge FULL of groceries, and I eat breakfast at home and bring my lunch to work, plus snacks and sodas, so that I don't spend any money. He's at home, with access to a million different things to eat and he goes out and spends money on food. I'm so angry at him right now. Why doesn't he get that we're on a tight budget?????? It's like dealing with a child sometimes!!!!

Mrs.Keith2B

 

Take the credit card away. If he doesn't have the money, tough. Maybe he'll learn!

My DH gives himself an "allowance" of cash every paycheck to live on for those two weeks. I don't care how he spends it...he can buy himself lunch everyday or buy a new tool with it, I don't care. This way if he wants to buy something "fun" he can take his lunch to work that week to allow for it. He also knows the only thing to use the debit card for is gas. When I started seeing charges of $5 here and $8 there for a snack or lunch, I asked him why he wasn't using his cash. His response? "It was just easier to pay with the card". I told him if he didn't stop I was going to take his debit card away and he was fine with that (He wants help managing money more responsibly). Needless to say I never had to take it away, but it was a good lesson.

Good luck!

BravoBravo

Does he actively participate in the budget?  We have a google spreadsheet (so we both can access it from anywhere) where we input purchases.  It was hard at first when DH would just leave it up to me, and like you mentioned, I would be the one to have to say no.  But once DH saw what we could be saving he was all on board.  Now he loves the budget and we have actually made more cuts to be more savvy. 

If your DH can not control his purchases, take the cards, and let him operate on cash only.  He is a big boy and if he spends his gas money, he can walk!

 Good luck!

nemtown

I agree with pp. Take away the CC. Or stash it in the glove box so it's THERE if he needs it but he doesn't know it's there. Hide it and when he calls you to come pick him up because he has a flat tire and can't pay for a tow, you can tell him the card is there. (Does that make sense???)

Give him cash only. Tell him he can either spend it each week on breakfast/lunch or he can save it up and buy something bigger after a few weeks. It will teach him how to budget--just like when you teach LO how to budget with allowance money!

We have stashes of cash at home, too. If either of us wants to buy something, we take it out of our stash and the other person can't say anything about it. It works for us--I just went shopping and bought a bunch of summer outdoor dishes!

denahamilton@cox.net

I feel your pain! DH is the SAME way. You are lucky though....my issues with him aren't over gas money. LOL He constantly wants to buy thousand dollar items...SOOOOO annoying! I recently applied for nursing school and the program costs 7 grand...I am trying to explain to him that all our extra money should be going towards my education not a tool for the garage. Because in the long run, it's going to be MY education that enables OUR family to be finacially secure into the future.

qiana30

I think you should take the credit card away.

MrsRebecca

nemtown:

I agree with pp. Take away the CC. Or stash it in the glove box so it's THERE if he needs it but he doesn't know it's there. Hide it and when he calls you to come pick him up because he has a flat tire and can't pay for a tow, you can tell him the card is there. (Does that make sense???)

I would not do this. Leaving a credit card lying around where it could get lost or stolen is asking for trouble.