My husband didn't say a thing to me in almost 24 hours. For the first month he referred to her as "The Baby" or "It" I hoped he would come around but it took a whole month of disappointment. Then one night while I was asleep he had his hands wrapped around my belly. Suddenly "IT" moved, for 15 minutes "It" moved under her daddy's hands and her daddy crumbled, was even fighting back tears (and he is NOT an emotional person). In 15 minutes Hannah went from "It" to "My girl" and ever since that moment he has been the most incredible Daddy. While I was in labor he even talked about how he wanted another girl. Now he says he doesn't care if he ever gets a boy. He loves her so much and wants to kick himself for ever wanting anything different. She has him wrapped around his little finger.
I gave him time because I knew he would come around but I didn't realize he would be so thrilled to have a girl!
So sorry that he is having a tough time with it, he will come around; ) I know that my H was saying it was a girl before we knew to set himself up for not hearing the words "ITS A BOY!"
Have you talked with him about why he wanted a boy? Perhaps when he realizes that he can play catch, etc. with a girl as well as with a boy, he might perk up. Also, there are so many stories of parents hoping for one gender or another, and that disappointment melting away when they greet that precious face for the first time.
But, a warning: sometimes, the disappointment doesn't go away. If your DH is the type who must have things his way at any cost, it can be rough on you and your LO. My ex husband still buys girl's clothing and toys for DS, because he MUST have a girl, even though he actually has a son. But it's not likely your DH is that type, though. He will, most likely, recover from his disappointment at some stage.
Most men want a boy. At our ultrasound, our baby would not turn around to show us and so we'll be surprised! DH still gets more excited when people look at my belly and think it's a boy, but I know that he will love our child just the same if we have a girl.
I'm not holding back here. I think your DH is being a big baby. He's going to be a father, and even more importantly, having lost a baby already, he needs to know that a healthy child is what people should want not a boy or girl. IMO he needs a reality check. I think secretly everyone has hopes about a boy or girl but to be so obvious and mopey about it is selfish and childish. In a few short months he'll realize how stupid he was being, when he gets to meet his daughter.
If you have any other kids, I'd vote NOT to find the gender out b4 the birth, your H needs to cool it.
my husband and i are TTC. he has a daughter from an outside relationship and so do i. My daughter only knows him as her father and has never even met her bio daddy. when i had her all i wanted was a little girl. i didn't even want a boy. my little girl is the most male female that i have ever met. at nearly 3 she watches sports, plays roughly, and climbs anything that crosses her mind. i want a girly girl this time around, my husband wants a boy. i hope he's not disappointed with another girl and i'm not disappointed if we have a boy. but you never know with men. sometimes they climb in their box and don't want to come out and play.
i hope yours comes out of his box soon. you never know your little girl might prefer trucks to dolls and climbing to tea-parties. good luck
my husband has ALWAYS wanted a boy, especially to be the first child, and when he found out that it was a girl he wasnt overly excited. it made me upset i started to cry and told him that it mad me sad that he wasnt excited about having a little girl' i thought that even if he found out it was a girl he would be so excited anyway, and when that didnt happen it crushed me. he told me that he just expected it to be a boy and had his hopes up and when it wasnt what he thought it just was taking him some time to get excited about it.
he has since then gotten excited about having a little girl and we are going to try for a boy the second time. it may just take your man some time to get used to it-which is really frustrating trust me but im sure he will be ok and get excited about a lil baby girl.
Angel Baby: 5/29/08
Are you kidding me?! I can't believe how people are responding...with such sympathy toward a grown man who can't "get over the disappointment" of having another little girl?!
Especially knowing that you, like myself, have lost a baby in the past (I read that, right?) - shouldn't he be happy that you two are having a baby together, period???? I mean, GROW UP!
It's life. Having a baby is a gamble gender-wise. If he wanted to be totally in charge of the gender, he'd have to adopt. I'm sorry, he just seems to be acting very immature.
My sister felt the SAME way about her daughter while she was pregnant. She completely freaked out about having a girl instead of a brother for her son. She didn't even pick out a name for her until 2 days after she had her.
Now is a different story! She couldn't be more thrilled with her little girl! Little Robin is 4 months old and the happiest little thing I've ever seen. I hope DH gets over it, too. If not, you could always move him into the nursery and her into your bedroom. lol!
I was very disappointed when we found out I was having a boy. I know that seems immature and selfish, but it's true. I am ashamed to admit it now, but I moped for a few days, I couldn't bring myself to go shopping because pink girly things were so much cuter. I look back at that and laugh, I am so so happy we have a boy. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Point to my rambling: if you want something so badly for 16 weeks, you can't just change your feelings in 5 minutes. It's a big adjustment and I think it's normal to take some time to get used to it, people just don't like to admit they felt disappointed about it.
Don't worry, once your baby girl (or boy) arrives he won't care one way or another. I thought I was having a boy and it turned out to be a girl and I'm not disappointed and you shouldn't feel bad for your husband. Anytime a baby is born that is life and he will feel good about your baby no matter the gender in the end.