If you didn't change your last name when you married

taxbride

If you didn't change your last name when you married, do you have any problem with it after having kids? 

I didn't change my name, and something has been happening that I don't know is so much a problem as kind of funny.  Lately I've been getting invitations and thank you notes addressed to my kids (who have my DH's last name), but they will be addressed to my kids with my last name instead.  It's really funny to see the mail to "Graciela Mylastname."  Or the cards to the "Mylastname Family."  I have no intention of changing my name, but I'm not sure of the best way to make sure people know my kids' last name is not mine.  

Any thoughts?

Tania

MrsLeanna

I would just tell them.  I know that I would assume that your kids had your last name (which I know only from FB).  So if I were to send you something I would probably address it to the kids with your last name b/c i didn't realize it was different.

But, I would want to know that I was wrong so that I could correct it. 

claudia01

i never changed my last name either. thing like that happen from time to time. I correct people based on the situation, but like you, it's not a big deal.

What I have happen more often is people addressing things to me w/ my husband's last name when they know i never changed my last name.

karukaru

This also happens to me and I sort of changed my last-name. DH wanted me to change my last name and I didn't so we compromised. I hyphenated his last name to mine, which is quite complicated because we both have difficult to pronounce last names. I also wanted to hyphenate my last name to DS's lastname but after having to spell my current last name several times i gave up because i don't want DS to have to spell such a long complicated last name every time (his last name is complicated enough as it is)   

ANJ410

LOL, that is pretty funny.  When you RSVP you will just have to tell the parents their last name.  I can see how that would be an easy mistake for people to make if they don't know.

I do know a few people who didn't change their last name officially, but when they sign up for stuff with their children they use their husbands last name for that, I guess to avoid confusion.

shoe-kitty1109

Mostly I get tagged with my husband's last name as opposed to H getting tagged with mine (except for my health insurance which gave her my last name...).  She knows that my last name is different from hers, that's where I started my effort.  As long as she knows her name, she'll correct people, I can handle being called Mrs. so-and-so  instead of Ms. Shoe-Kitty.

I think it becomes a bigger deal when they enter school, but not one that is impossible to over come.  That being said, I may just change my name one of these days....  His is so much easier!

taxbride

The thing is, I've already had conversations with several of these particular women about the last name thing.  I think they just forgot.  So how to remind them?  Send an email?  "Got the invite/thank you card, and btw, just fyi, Graciela's last name is XXXX, not YYYY.  Thanks!" What do you think?

Tania

glitzychic

yeah, happens all the time. max's last name is hyphenated, but occasionally he gets stuff addressed to max husbands-last-name.  i correct on a situation by situation basis. i have return labels made with max's full name on it, hoping it will clear things up for people. but some just won't ever get it...like my husband's grandmothers for instance.

i think it would be fine for you to mention it when you RSVP. 

MrsJOSEnADRI

My last name is hyphenated and most people don't get it right.  At work, I mostly go by my maiden name because people are used to it and don't want to call me by my full last name (it's too long for the kids, lol, especially in the middle/high where most drop teachers' names anyway and just call them Miss).  In our personal lives, it's even more confusing b/c some people thing I kept my last name, others assumed that I took his, but no one ever gets it right. 

We'll see how it goes when we have kids and they have DH's last name.