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ashkandi
member
Pregnant & Single? (Vent too)
ashkandi
member
I don't know, maybe it's hormones but I'm finding it so hard to be pregnant and single. I was single before I was pregnant and that was hard too but I feel like I'm a walking pariah. I hate that everyone assumes I have a husband or a boyfriend or something going on in my life. I hate that I have to listen to all my friends complain about their husbands. He doesn't do this, he doesn't do that. Boo freaking hoo, cry me a river.
Anyone else in this boat? Or similar? Sorry for the rant/vent but I'm feeling a little bummed lately. I cry at the drop of a hat. I literally cried while watching Clifford. Yes, the Big Red Dog.
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Re: Pregnant & Single? (Vent too)
It can be hard because society is very judgemental and most people don't have a filter. I've just been trying to keep a positive attitude and realize that without DB I wouldn't be having an amazing little girl that I'm so excited for! I was having problems feeling unattractive or like I was "damaged goods" but recently I've been feeling a lot better about myself. People can think whatever they want about you, and many people have snickered or said rude things to me but if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing.
My friends are dating and starting to get engaged. It was weird at first because I was the first one to get engaged and it didn't last, but I'm happy for them. I just know that I will have my time and the person I'm meant to be with and I will never know what made me attractive to X in the first place.
Cry it out when you need too - I've done this many times. I also find keeping a journal or something to write out my thoughts is an awesome outlet. You're strong and will be an AMAZING mother to your LO. How far along are you? I've just been focusing on DD finally getting here and how she is going to be my focus for a long time. GL - feel free to PM or vent when needed!
That's true, I always feel like people are judging me. Maybe I'm paranoid and just judging myself. I dunno.
I agree that I wouldn't have it any other way or change it for the world, but does anyone else get that? They look at me like I'm crazy and I'm so sick of it. I feel that, like I'm damaged goods, who would want me? Who would ever love me? My life didn't end up like the fairytales, and I'm sick of all of these women with their perfect fairytale lives and their 'my one and only' attitude about their husbands. Well my husband wasn't my first, but I still loved him just as much as you did, so what's the big deal? Yeah I was a sucker and fell for another guy before him and convinced myself it was love and so my first time wasn't with my soul mate, but is that so important??? Not that it worked out with my husband EITHER!
I do cry it out a lot, I think it's the hormones, it wasn't that bad before I got pregnant, I mean some things people would say would upset me but now it's just everything.
kjh44 I really appreciate your input and all your kind words. I am 21 weeks 2 days along and I have a 16 month old daughter. I try to keep myself upbeat and excited about LO which I really AM but sometimes I just get down about it and wondered if anyone else felt the same way.
Also I'm not really sure how to pm someone on here. Do you have facebook?
We all feel the same way at times. We're only human and we are emotional beings. It would be weird if you didn't have these emotions. Maybe read LaurieB's post/story about how she found the man of her dreams after being a single mother. Her story is really inspiring and made me feel like my fairytale WILL happen.
I'm going to send you a PM so check your inbox in about 15 min.
Maybe it's just me but I haven't noticed anyone judge me for being single and pregnant. They ask what the dad thinks, I tell them my story, they tell me I made a wise choice.
I think we tend to judge ourselves and that makes us believe others are judging us as well. Remember, nobody has the right to judge you but God himself. Anybody who wants to judge you simply doesn't matter.
Click quick reply at the bottom of the message. For some reason the reply button hasn't been working.
((Hugs)). It is sooo hard, I left XH when I was 8 months pg. I think everyone does assume you are part of a couple. I went to Vegas pg and single!! Well we were definitely on the outs. It is a very vulnerable time in your life and you feel extra vulnerable when you are single, that's for sure. Hang in there!
I remember a story about that that I told to the guy that I was recently seeing. I was HUGELY pg and ran into him and another friend and the friend's mom in a restaurant. I walked (well waddled) over to say hi and I remember feeling so weird because I thought the guy was sooo cute and here I was pg. It was weird!! He was polite but of course he probably thought I was still married and even if he didn't I was PREGNANT! But it was funny to tell him the story later when we were dating...funny how things come around!
My husband of 200 days turned out to be a complete basketcase....so I am 7 months pregnant and single and thinking....people are looking at me thinking that I was someone who didnt take marriage seriously and wasnt willing to work hard enough to save a marriage. Little do they know that I spent every one of those 200 days wondering where the alien ship is that abducted my REAL husband....and freaking out because this was about as far from my plans as I could imagine.
Bottom line....people will always make assumptions...they will always judge...you cant control them but you can control you. Easier said than done of course....but F*%$^ them. Life is hard enough in the reality of your mind and your life....if you are typical...you dont have the time, patience, or luxury of worrying about them right now...you have a baby to think of.
I have cried to at the beginning, but like PP said we choose to have these babies, and what a miracle they are!!! At times I wish things worked out between me and BD but its ok. One day you will find the right guy for you! Keep your head up and your mind on your babies!!
((Hugs)) Thanks everyone!
That is a pretty funny store achase123! So odd but seems like something that would happen around here because it's a small town and everyone knows everyone (and their business lol).
Kerianne1176 that's really sad about your husband and I think I know the feeling you are talking about! My mom swore up and down that my ex was on crack and/or bipolar! We had no idea what was going on in his head. Yeah I felt like such a let down and that how can people take me seriously with my marriage ending 2 months after it began? But I tried and tried and tried and HE left me. I got so sick of people making it out like it was my fault, I did something wrong or I didn't try hard enough. Hell I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be but I didn't give up on him, he gave up on me. He didn't love me, he didn't want it to work out, yadda yadda, so don't freaking blame me. I begged him to come back, to stay with me, as demeaning as that is, I loved him that much. And people think just 'cause our marriage was 2 months long I did something wrong, well, our relationship was 5 YEARS long doesn't that count for something? People seem to think I should have KNOWN it was coming if it was so bad it ended after 2 months but I had no idea! He was in a bad place but breaking it off with me when we just got married was just ridiculous.
Eek I'm ranting again!
So right keychain01, and thank you very much. I cherish my babies every single day, they are my blessings in this world. Some people label it like these babies are my burden to carry through life and how can I ever get a man with these babies in my life, but it's the other way around for me, from this side of the fence it seems like everything's about them. I need a man that can respect that and understand that. My babies come first.
I'm 36 years old, wasn't in a notable relationship and had an accident with a casual partner I met online who lives 2 states and 7 hours away... try explaining THAT.
I wouldn't change a second of it. Accident or not, he's still my wonderful little boy and I am grateful to have him.
I DID blow up on the board when someone started bashing about walking around pregnant with a "naked ring finger."
Yeah, my situation was effed up...but I don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks about me and I will stand up for myself, my son and what I believe in. If that means I am left standing by myself at the end, oh well... I will always have Liam and that's all that matters.
Haha that's hilarious. Yeah there are some judgemental people, it's so stupid, this is the modern age, there are a buttload of pregnant unmarried women I can't imagine someone is so not with the times that they get mad at you for not being married. But yeah there are idiots out there.
Good for you! Yay proud single pregnant mamas!
Who cares if your married/engaged/dating/having causal sex/got drunk and have no clue who BD is.
All marriage is, is a very expensive peice of paper and a ring on your left hand. If people want to judge they can kiss my ass.
People need to realize the kind of world we live in is not what it used to be 60 years ago.
This!