if 2nd preg.is different gender, shower?

carolina1178

I have one son, 19 months, and SIL is already talking about a baby shower for twins.

I can't remember the etiquette on this....I remember something that if the 2nd baby is different gender, a shower or 'sprinkle' is ok?

Mind you...we won't even know genders for many many weeks yet but SIL is all excited and I am trying not to burst her bubble.....yet. Although I did tell her that if its two boys = no shower!

what if boy/girl? shower acceptable? *sigh*

we don't need any boy stuff at all....really the only girl stuff we would need is clothes and maybe a few 'pink' things lol

TIA!

BizEB

I am not a fan of showers for 2nd pregnancies.  No one I know IRL does that. 

hcastiaux

I think the etiquette is that you don't have a shower for your second pregnancy.  Unfortunately etiquette also says that you should be thankful to those who offer to give you showers and not really turn them down.  So I have no clue.

Personally, I will not have a shower for my second pregnancy, even if it is a different gender.  But I would have a hard time telling someone no thank you if they are offering to do something super nice for me. 

In my area, it is not deemed inappropriate if the second baby is of a different gender.  I think it really depends; is it going to be a family mainly baby shower with just a few close friends?  Or is it going to be an all out shower?  It is really how you feel about it.  If you feel that it is crossing some line, then it is best not to do it, because that means that someone else will probably feel the same way.

Sorry- I am really of no help. I am extremely interested in what everyone else has to say.

carolina1178

I agree..I am thankful that SIL wants to do something but a gtg with close family and friends, without gifts seems more appropriate to me : /

thanks for your insight ladies!

MrsAmyB

I planned on declining any showers for my 2nd baby.  However, with spontaneous triplets, we can use all the help we can get and our family/friends wouldn't have it any other way. 

IMO, twins is different than a singleton. If they want to shower you, enjoy it.  If they're fraternal, you have a 25% chance of 2 boys.

Temp159135562506975

my friends threw me a "sprinkle" even though I already had one son.  I missed my first shower- so i really appreciated it.

very small party... nothing big and formal, people mostly got us clothing since i didn't really have a registry and didn't need much gear-wise.

sprinkles are totally acceptable. A big full-blown shower = tacky to me if there are only a few years apart- even if it's a different gender.

my friends have all had sprinkles for 2nd/3rd babies.

janjag

even if gender is different i don't think a 2nd shower is appropriate.  it's not only SIL's efforts and $ to think of, it's all the guests who are going to receive invites to a 2nd "baby shower".  

however, an informal sprinkle would be fun!  if anyone asks your SIL what you need she can tell them clothes and diapers... or whatever.  

how nice that SIL wants to do that for you!  hopefully she is also up for changing a few diapers  

macchiatto

I think if you have a singleton and then multiples, a shower makes sense since you'll need almost as much new (or used, but new to you; you know what I mean ) stuff as if you were having your first baby. I know etiquette varies by group and region but I think a shower or sprinkle is fine. That or if there's a huge age gap and you've gotten rid of all your baby stuff, I also wouldn't bat an eye at a second shower.. With different genders I think a sprinkle or diaper pounding or food shower (e.g. meals for the freezer) is fine.

tiki_t

Even if you have boy stuff already, you'll need two of just about everything else. Another high chair, car seat, swing, crib, etc. My 2 cents is that when twins are involved, standard etiquette rules go out the door. When you have singletons, you can reuse stuff but when you have two at once, it doesn't work that way so the same rules do not apply.

mamam

I think this may be more regional.  It's pretty common to have a 2nd shower in my circles.  It's definitely not as large and over the top as the first but we still celebrate the new baby.