Moms of Toddlers then Twins- a few questions

BizEB

My son will be about 23 months old when our twins arrive.  I'll have a ton of help for the first 4-5 months so I'm not too worried about that early period of time- I'm really concerned about after that point.  I'm trying to figure out how we're going to juggle everything and how much childcare I will need and I have a few questions:

1.  How do you get ready in the morning with all three kids?  Where do you put all of them?  DS and I generally go out fully dressed every single day and I want to keep doing that with the twins but would love tips on getting everyone ready quickly.

2.  Do you take all three kids on playdates?  We do alot of playdates/playgroups with DS and I love that and want to try to include the twins and DS but I'm not sure how.  Similarly, do you take mommy and me classes with all three kids?  I think we'll have to split them up because it's not going to be appropriate developmentally for everyone but I'm not sure.

3.  Do you ever leave your older child alone with your twins (like to go to the bathroom)?  At what age?  

4.  Do you think a good nanny or sitter could handle all three kids at the same time (again, after the twins are 4-5 months old)?  

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

 

lutzcowgirlie

My first turned 2 five days after the twins arrived, so the age split is pretty similar. I have to say - the first six months were about making it through the day, but after that it got much better and now (two years later) I can't imagine how quiet and boring it would be if there had only been one baby!   

BizEB:

1.  How do you get ready in the morning with all three kids?  Where do you put all of them?  DS and I generally go out fully dressed every single day and I want to keep doing that with the twins but would love tips on getting everyone ready quickly. 

My first wasn't a spitter, so if I knew I was doing something early I could dress her the night before and just head out the door. The twins had terrible reflux issues, so I gave up on dressing in clean outfits. They wore footie pjs or simple cotton outfits around the clock in the beginning. I mean, they are just babies - they don't need shoes or real clothes.  

 

2.  Do you take all three kids on playdates?  We do alot of playdates/playgroups with DS and I love that and want to try to include the twins and DS but I'm not sure how.  Similarly, do you take mommy and me classes with all three kids?  I think we'll have to split them up because it's not going to be appropriate developmentally for everyone but I'm not sure.

When the babies were born I joined a local twins club and it was such a wonderful thing for me. I met some really great friends and always had plenty to do with the babies. It is nice to find other moms who are dealing with the challenge of handling 2 or three little ones at the same time.

We spent a lot of time at the park so my older daughter could run and play and the twins would hang on a blanket or walk around in the stroller. We also did a lot of rotating homes - one week and one person's house and so on. Depending on when the twins arrive and the whole flu/RSV/other illness risk you might want to avoid class environments for a while with the babies. 

3.  Do you ever leave your older child alone with your twins (like to go to the bathroom)?  At what age?  

The twins were over a year before I left them alone with her. She was never mean or intentionally hurtful toward them, but it was a risk I didn't want to take since she wanted to cover them/hold them/pick them up.

I would either put them in the playyard or take her with me to the bathroom or wherever I was going. Challenging, but worth it to me. 

4.  Do you think a good nanny or sitter could handle all three kids at the same time (again, after the twins are 4-5 months old)?  

Yes. This is one of those situations where I definitely think it pays to do some trial runs beforehand since you don't know for sure how they will do until everyone starts crying at once, lol.  

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 Best of luck to you! 

 

ahava2005

I have a 26 year old son and twin newborn girls.  This is what I do:

1) I get my son ready first.  Even if the girls are crying I'll get him up and dressed.  Then he can join me in their room while I get them ready.  I'll then walk him downstairs and come back upstairs and bring down the girls.

2) I don't take them out together because the girls are preemies and can't go out on playdates.  But we'll go to the playground and the girls will stay in the stroller while my son plays.

 3) Only if I'm running into the next room to get something.  But I know my toddler's temperament and he's been taught not to touch the girls and is very good at not doing things he isn't supposed to do.

4) Yup.  I have one and she is fantastic.  She does it now with the girls only being 3 months old (they spent two months in the NICU).  I couldn't afford day care for three children (never mind finding one with three openings at the same time).  She probably does a better job than I do.

carolina1178

i am no help but wanted to say thanks for asking because these are great questions I have been wondering myself :-P ds will just be a little 2y/o once twins arrive :-)

lutzcowgirlie

ahava2005:

I have a 26 year old son and twin newborn girls.  

 

I know this was just a simple error, but I have to say thanks because I'm laughing my ass off imagining you doing all this for your 26 year old toddler!  

mnmplusthree

BizEB:

My DS is 17 months. I haven't had any extra help with the kids since we came home besides DH.

1.  How do you get ready in the morning with all three kids?  Where do you put all of them?  DS and I generally go out fully dressed every single day and I want to keep doing that with the twins but would love tips on getting everyone ready quickly.
The best advice I have for you is to prepare everything you can beforehand. I will go back to work next week, but I have had to get the kids up and out of the house by myself before. I have all of the bags packed the night before (well as much of them as I can. Diapers, extra clothes, formula, etc.) When I take DS to the babysitters, he goes in his PJ's and changes later. I change the twins outfits before they go to bed. If they spit up or get them dirty, I will change them right then. I take the bags to the car, take the twins to the car, then I will get DS out of bed and take him directly to the car. He is cranky if I wake him up any earlier.

2.  Do you take all three kids on playdates?  We do alot of playdates/playgroups with DS and I love that and want to try to include the twins and DS but I'm not sure how.  Similarly, do you take mommy and me classes with all three kids?  I think we'll have to split them up because it's not going to be appropriate developmentally for everyone but I'm not sure.
I have never done a Mommy and me class so I can't give you advice on that. I have taken them to a friends house and she has a little girl the same age as my oldest. I wouldn't worry about including the twins until they are old enough to interact. Early on, play dates at the park might be good for your older one because they can go play and you don't have to worry about the twins running off. You can focus more on your oldest. I would just make sure to have some parent/older child time that doesn't include the twins. I try to do that during the day when the twins are asleep. I make sure to read a book or play a game with DS to make him feel special.

3.  Do you ever leave your older child alone with your twins (like to go to the bathroom)?  At what age? I don't leave them alone yet. He is still interested in picking them up and stealing their pacifiers so I have to watch them all the time. I keep the twins in a PnP or in the other room away from DS. Once they are older, I prob won't worry as much 

4.  Do you think a good nanny or sitter could handle all three kids at the same time (again, after the twins are 4-5 months old)?  Yes a good nanny or sitter should be able to take care of them. She should be able to incorporate the odler child in the care of the younger ones as a game and the older one should be great help! Have a run through with the nanny before everything is final. I had my babysitter watch the 3 of mine for about 2 hrs while I went and did something so that she had an idea of how it would go and I had an idea of the fact she could do it!