Gender Neutral Parenting

SaraSmile

My son and I bake together all the time.  It's no big deal.  It's not like we are living in the 50s.  My husband cooks sometimes - I don't consider myself a feminist or anything.  Now on the other hand, if my son asked if he could wear a Tinkerbell dress to school or something I would say no.  I am going to be honest though ... if we were in the store and my son wanted a Barbie doll I would probably say - those are for girls.  Honestly I probably would. 

KrisBriMcBunny

yeah I would do the same...however if he was playing with barbies at someone's house I wouldnt bat an eye.

SaraSmile

I wouldn't care about that either.  He put on my heels on the time at home and plays with his sisters toys. 

shouldbworkin

I just try to parent how they need to be parented.  But, having a boy and a girl, things are pretty equal.  DS and DD help me cook and they both play with cars, dolls, dress up clothes and trains.  What is funny is the gender roles they place on each other.  DS can only like blue and red and DD can only like pink and purple ... according to them.  They get upset if I tell them I like blue too b/c I'm a girl and I guess that is not ok in their little world.

DandR

hmmm...I'm sort of like you. My son always gets caught up in dressing like a princess and wearing make up because that's what his older sisters do.  I don't think there is anything wrong with saying "boys only wear chapstick" or "boys usually just wear clear nailpolish"  he's fine with that explanation.  I dont know what I'd do if he screamed and cried that he wanted pink nail polish...I'd probably give in...but directing him in a certain direction isn't a horrible thing to do.

And as far as dress up, he just doesn't have many costumes, so I don't worry when he's wearing his sister's tutu or whatever. 

My girls play with his trains and trucks sometimes too. 

I think its weird if you push your son to wear pink nailpolish, or push your son to play barbie or whatever....just like I think it would be weird to say "NO you cannot ever play with barbies!"

That said---I truly believe the difference between boys and girls begins young because I can see it in my kids.  Mitch prefers to play with his trucks and dinosaurs.  If he is playing with the my little pony it is because he is runnign over the pony's with his truck. he is facinated with things with wheels, so he used to LOVE the girls' baby stroller...which didn't but me, or my husband...my husband usually pushes the stroller.  but it was because of the wheels.  My girls were always into their baby dolls and playing dress up.

 

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

My DS carries around a knock-off LV....but he carries his Star Wars guys in it.....I'm not concerned LOL!

KoriBrett

My 2y/o boy's current obsession is walking around with purple sparkly/feathered play high heels, the matching princess tiara, and sunglasses on.

Frankly if the kid wants a barbie, he can have one, DH & I are both ok with that.  If he was into guns, fighting, potentially violent things like that, we'd have to have a little chat.

xbrooklyngrl

to echo what dandr said, I too think it starts at a young age. I look at the kids when I pick up B and most of the girls are playing with the baby dolls and pushing around strollers while the boys are playing with dinosaurs and trucks.

Expecting0207

I don't try to push them in any direction.  I also think it starts young. DD2 at 15 months picks up DD1's doll and puts them over her shoulder and pats them on the back.  It's what she knows I do to her and to her sister - she is just mimicking what she sees.  We don't really do princess stuff but we have doctor stuff, handy manny, lots of animals, a pink tea set, shopping carts- a mish mosh of stuff.  She has also seen me go to work and she knows mommy takes out the trash and she helps me bring the trash cans in.  I would be a little more hesitant to have a boy that is into 'girly' things in public like other posters mentioned.

CleoKitty

When my ds was about 2-3 years old he loved Angelina Ballerina. He carried around a stuffed Angelina Ballerina toy and I bought him a tutu. Now as a 5 y/o he's very much all boy and that frilly tutu (and the nailpolish he used to wear) caused no harm. If he could wear a tutu and carry around a stuffed pink mouse then he could have certainly had a Barbie if he wanted...

On the flip side, my now 2 y/o dd carries around a stuffed Yoda and just got some Bakugans for her birthday, LOL. I think they'll both turn out just fine. ;-)

jlw2505

Sorry but this bothers me on some level - the comment about this is not the 50's yet you won't buy your son a barbie doll.  Go read the story "William wants a doll".  I know it was on the "Free to Be Me" record back in the 70's.  What is wrong with a  boy playing with dolls?  Yes, I only have girls and I know its more OK (per society) for a girl to be a tomboy than the other way around but I still am amazed that people are still boy/girl and they can only do or wear certain things.  Letting kids explore all things helps them learn.  My sisters has 3 girls - 2 are total girly girls and love everything princess while the 3rd is totally a tom boy and won't even wear girl clothes, she wears boys underwear and bathsuits (boys bottoms with a t-shirt style rash guard top).  She plays with all of what people would consider "boy toys".  Who cares!!!