Trying to Get Pregnant

NGPR IL vent

So my FIL got laid off recently, but he was going to retire in a couple years. It was a total shock, but after it set in they decided it was a good thing - early retirement! They are fine financially, and have COBRA coverage for the next 15 months.

Today MIL asks me if I can review FIL's resume, because he's going to file for unemployment. I was surprised, asked her if he has changed his mind and is now going to look for work. She said no, that they are just going to go through the motions to collect unemployment. Proceeds to tell me that all he has to do is make a couple of contacts a week, apply for jobs he's not qualified for so he won't get anything so they can just collect the unemployement $. So then I say maybe he will find something good anyways and she said if he did get a job offer he will just find a reason not to take it. So they are just working the system.

Am I just a total goody-goody or is this taking advantage of the system? I didn't know what to say, just pisses me off. Am I totally off here?

BFP: 6/4/10, M/C @ 5wks | BFP: 7/12/10, M/C @ 5wks | BFP: 1/5/11, M/C @ 4wks
Unexplained secondary infertility...bleh. Gave it a few more tries and BFP on 3/31
#1 Beta @ 10DPO: 9 #2 Beta @ 14DPO: 194
My BFP Chart Lilypie Maternity tickersimage

Re: NGPR IL vent

  • I dont blame you, I would be irritated too.

    There are people who really need the Unemployment because they are henstly looking for work and trying to get a job, while others take advantage, I actually have a personal experience with this, my BIL is currently doing the same thing and just applying for the required 2-3 jobs a week, but he applies for stuff he knows he wont get just so he can say he tried and collect another check for the week.

    Here in AZ where I live today in fact, D.E.S. cut benefits for thousands of people because they are running out of money, they hope they can come up with some money to extend benefit coverage to people who need it. all the while some people continue to take advantage of the system. :(

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  • The company I worked for while pregnant with DD closed when I was 7 months along... long story short, if you read the paperwork you have to be qualified for the jobs you apply for.  (at least that is how it is in VA) 

    It sucks that people do this, I never drew a check because I was put on bedrest soon after and was unable to work and refused to lie to get a check.

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  • I am just fuming over here. I know it's not really my business, but would you say something? I don't want to help with the resume now.
    BFP: 6/4/10, M/C @ 5wks | BFP: 7/12/10, M/C @ 5wks | BFP: 1/5/11, M/C @ 4wks
    Unexplained secondary infertility...bleh. Gave it a few more tries and BFP on 3/31
    #1 Beta @ 10DPO: 9 #2 Beta @ 14DPO: 194
    My BFP Chart Lilypie Maternity tickersimage
  • Ummm yeah, seems kinda sketchy to me too. I hate when people abuse the system. It makes me mad, b/c as a hard worker myself, I don't want my tax dollars to go to people who don't need it, or don't deserve it!

    I hope they get some sense knocked into them!

    New to 3T? Check out this website first:

    Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end --Semisonic

    **TTC since 04/09, C/P 02/02/10; 4 weeks, 3 days**
    **Dx: Anovulation, Hypothryroidism, Mild Endo, Pituitary Adenoma (prolactin issues), PAI-1, MFI **

    **7/10: Clomid + TI= BFN**
    **3/2/11: 1st RE appointment**
    **DH= Morph= 2%, Motility= 30%**
    **HSG= All clear!!**
    **3/11: Femara + Pregnyl + TI= BFN**
    **5/17/11: Laparoscopy / hysteroscopy = mild endo**
    **7/11: Novarel + IUI #1= BFN (7mil, 75% motility, 2% morph)**
    **8/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #2= BFN (11mil, 35% motility, 1% morph)**
    **11/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #3= BFN (9mil, 2% morph)**
    **Jan 2012: Follistim (75ius) + IUI #4= CANCELLED due to cyst -put on bcp**
    **Feb 2012: Follistim (75ius) + Novarel + IUI #4.2= BFFN (2.5mil, 13% motility, 1% morph)**
    **Mar 2012: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5= CANCELLED due to 35mm & 14mm cysts**
    **On med break indefinitely...IF Sucks!**

    **Jan 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.2= CANCELLED due to high prolactin level, MRI scheduled, pituitary adenoma found, put on Dostinex**
    **Mar 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.3= CANCELLED due to uterine polyp, surgery scheduled for polypectomy and D&C**
    **03/22/13: Hysteroscopy, polypectomy and D&C**
    **May 2013: Finally got to start a cycle!!! Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.4 = BFFN (6mil, 74% motility, 2% morph)** 

    **Jun 2013: Decide to start IVF**
    IVF w/ICSI #1 (Long Lupron Protocol)
    06/26/13: Start BCPs
    07/02/13: HSG #2= all clear
    07/15/13: Start Lupron 10 ius
    07/25/13: Suppression check
    07/28/13: Start stims (225IUs Follistim + 75IUs Menopur) drop to 5 IUs Lupron
    08/01/13: Monitoring: 12 follicles all about 10mm, E2- 313
    08/04/13: Monitoring: 18 follicles (15mm, 13mm, a few 11mm, rest 10mm or below) E2- 1,505
    Start Augmentin- antibiotic prep
    08/06/13: Monitoring: 13 follicles (18mm, 17mm, rest b/w 15mm-16mm!) Ready to trigger!! E2- 2,248
    08/08/13: ER-- 14R, 13M, 10F 
    08/11/13: One fertilized late, we now have 11 embryos!
    08/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Sheldon and Penny) 3AA and 3BB, none to freeze
    8/23/13: BFFN... Sheldon and Penny didn't stick**

    **8/29/13: Follow up... bad fragmentation issues. Changing protocol to Antagonist for round #2 coming soon! Also started on 81mg Aspirin after getting blood panel done and found out I have PAI-1**

    **Oct 2013: After large cysts, finally starting IVF #2**
    IVF w/ICSI #2 (Antagonist Protocol)
    BCPs started back in Sept due to cysts
    10/27/13: Start stims (225 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)
    11/03/13 - 11/05/13: Add Ganirelix to the mix
    11/06/13: 3 follicles at 18mm-- Ready to trigger!
    11/08/13: ER-- 17R, 13M, 8F
    11/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Luke and Leia) 5AB and 4AB, 1 frostie
    11/20/13- 11/23/13: light positives on FRERs and Wondofos
    11/22/13: BFN per RE office (under HCG of 10)
    11/27/13: CP ::sigh::

    *12/03/13: Follow up...great response and quality this time, was given 50% chance of it working, just didn't stick. Great plan for 2014! 

    **Jan 2014: Last IVF of our SRP**
    IVF w/ICSI, freeze all, then FET
    12/27/13: Start BCPs
    01/19/14: Stims (375 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)

    Congratulations Cutebride!! --TWINS!! Congratulations, Luvie, on your sweet boy! Congrats, Jess! So happy for you ladies! <3<3  
    ~~Also best of luck to Kati, illinigal, and youngin!~~


  • I would tell her that abusing government aids is illegal and while you arent going to tell them how they should live, you dont feel comfortable attributing to an illegal action.

    That or Id just say ok, and then tell them it looked fine. Or tell them  ok then hope the forget and never do it.

    OR if you want to be really snarky, ask them why they need the resume to look good, you wouldnt want to actually impress a potential employer and POSSIBLY just get another job since they obviously need a little extra cash per week! 

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  • Wow, just wow. Seriously? I would be pissed too and sure as hell wouldn't do anything to help them along in this process.


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  • Sadly, this happens all the time.
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  • Are you sure they are financially set?

    Being unemployed and at retirement age is super scary. Losing your income before you intended has repercussions- even if you think you're ready for it. You said his COBRA coverage is taken care of but if he has a major medical problem he's still going to owe a ton of $.

    Do I think it's taking advantage of the system by collecting and not really looking for a job? Yes.

    I've been looking for a job for a year. I send out 25 resumes a week on average (it used to be closer to 50 but there are less jobs now) and I haven't heard anything back. I am extremely qualified for the field I'm looking in. In a lot of instances, I'm over qualified.

    Even if he were earnestly looking for work, he may not find it.

    You may not have all the facts of the situation- most people don't share the intimate details of their financial situation with their spouses, let alone their children.

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