tacky for my mom to throw my shower for me??

aps003

well most of my girlfriends will be graduating college this may and my two closes friends will be moving one to dallas the other to oklahoma and both are getting married ...so I know they would want to throw me a shower its just a bad time with them planning their weddings both a month after when I want to have a shower...

my mother in law threw a shower for my sister in law but has yet to say anything to me about throwing me a shower which is fine because to be honest I am very in to details and would like a nice shower and the one for my sister in law was umm lacking.........so is it awful for my mom to throw it she has offered and I want to have it before 30 weeks so I need to atleast know who is thrwing my shower pretty soon and my mom throws beautiful parties!!

Daisygirl613

i think that is fine.  

LCB34

This comes up all the time.

I think it is a regional thing.

Where I am from and my social circle (the South and upper middle to upper class), it would be looked down upon but in lots of places it is perfectly acceptable.

 

joolz425

i wouldn't care if i was a guest.

mrs.kapow

I think it used to be "tacky" but that times have changed. My mom is at the very least having a heavy hand in my shower.

kategw

Thats the norm in the northeast, but I understand its not in some areas.  Not sure how people view it in TX.

anvloveskme

From what I have seen, people on the board have mixed emotions about this.  My mom lives out of town, so she will be coming to my city and co-hosting with my best friend, and I don't see anything wrong with it. 

kimmyt09

Its not to me, but for some people it is. I've lived in both CA and NY now, and here in CA its tacky for the mom to throw it, and in NY its custom. Just do whats right for your family, thats all that matters.

niccole_e

My mother threw my bridal and baby showers...

sarasek

I know this debated a lot, and people talk about 'culture' and 'regional' things, but honestly? As long as you're not throwing yourself the shower, I say it's okay for anyone to offer and do it for you. Mom, MIL, SIL, etc. My mom and sisters are throwing me one. My mom jumped at the chance. I don't find it tacky at all. Personally, I find it a bit touching that my mom is doing this for me, since I'm her daughter and about to have her granddaughter.

Sara

mghnmouse

That is fine! Mothers do that for their daughters all the time! Plus you know that you'll get the shower you want

modechick

Absolutely not tacky!  Your mom is the perfect person to throw you a shower.  My sis is throwing mine, but I know my mom is playing an integral part.

Not only is it completely ok for your mom to throw it, but I think it is a wonderful way for your mom to feel involved.  Most grandmoms want to be involved as much as possible.

MWoodside

My mom is one of the hostesses of my shower along with several other women.  By Emily Post standards it is tacky for a mother/MIL to host the shower, but my mom was insistant on being involved.  I am fine w/ this in general.  People throwing their own showers is a differant story though.

LovePink2850

This is asked daily. Why don't you do what makes you happy?

LCB34

LovePink2850:

This is asked daily. Why don't you do what makes you happy?

Because they want to get their panties in a wad when they don't like what people have to say!  I kid...well only slightly.

Rachelilly23

No

Tassie06

mghnmouse:

That is fine! Mothers do that for their daughters all the time! Plus you know that you'll get the shower you want

This!! my sister will probably be throwing a shower for me, and i know my mum will be helping out lots too..

StephanieDM

I don't think its tacky at all! A lot of grandmas-to-be love to plan showers for their daughters or daughter-in-laws and I think its great! My mom thew my bridal shower (my sister was my MOH and she's only 15 so she helped but couldn't be the only host, of course!). My mom is also throwing me a baby shower. She's a great host and everyone always enjoys themselves. In our extended family, she is usually the one to host get togethers/parties. Also, she knows exactly what I like (no tacky shower games or plastic favors, etc). I've attended a couple showers where the mom-to-be's mother hosted the shower and I didn't think anything of it.

So, if your mom wants to throw you a shower, let her! I'm sure it will make her very happy! 

teamsweet

It seems like an issue in the south, but in the NE (for any class of people), it's perfectly acceptable.

aps003

thanks ladies i should have also said my friends will be co hosting my mom will just be doing everything

emily0829

LovePink2850:

This is asked daily. Why don't you do what makes you happy?

I second this.

Or, better yet, just look at the past posts about it. You're going to get a variety of answers from the bump because people do things totally different depending on their culture, region, what they personally think is tacky and what they don't, Emily Post etiquette... the list go on and on.

Sarahk8

Every baby shower I have been to has been thrown by the mother, & my mother & sis are throwing mine.

micaelasmakeup

LCB34:

This comes up all the time.

I think it is a regional thing.

Where I am from and my social circle (the South and upper middle to upper class), it would be looked down upon but in lots of places it is perfectly acceptable.

 

Exactly.  I'm from Texas and yes it is considered I don't think tacky is the word but just like pitiful.  Like the mom doesn't have any friends that can throw this poor girl a shower?  So it's really your circle.  I'm from Dallas and my mother would be mortified if no one offered (as in her friends or an aunt, etc) to throw her daughter a shower.

babya2010

micaelasmakeup:

LCB34:

This comes up all the time.

I think it is a regional thing.

Where I am from and my social circle (the South and upper middle to upper class), it would be looked down upon but in lots of places it is perfectly acceptable.

 

Exactly.  I'm from Texas and yes it is considered I don't think tacky is the word but just like pitiful.  Like the mom doesn't have any friends that can throw this poor girl a shower?  So it's really your circle.  I'm from Dallas and my mother would be mortified if no one offered (as in her friends or an aunt, etc) to throw her daughter a shower.

Yikes. "Pitiful??" that's a little harsh... So what if some people don't have a large circle of friends? My MIL and mom both planned my bridal shower together and it was awesome! This time around MIL offered to throw the baby shower but my mom decided to throw a separate one (for my side of the family) since the bridal shower ended up being quite large. To each their own I guess...

LindseyJW

niccole_e:

My mother threw my bridal and baby showers...

this.

kofmkg

Yes, it's awful (and tacky) for your mom to throw your shower.  It's almost as atrocious as your failure to use punctuation.

sarasek

babya2010:

micaelasmakeup:

LCB34:

This comes up all the time.

I think it is a regional thing.

Where I am from and my social circle (the South and upper middle to upper class), it would be looked down upon but in lots of places it is perfectly acceptable.

 

Exactly.  I'm from Texas and yes it is considered I don't think tacky is the word but just like pitiful.  Like the mom doesn't have any friends that can throw this poor girl a shower?  So it's really your circle.  I'm from Dallas and my mother would be mortified if no one offered (as in her friends or an aunt, etc) to throw her daughter a shower.

Yikes. "Pitiful??" that's a little harsh... So what if some people don't have a large circle of friends? My MIL and mom both planned my bridal shower together and it was awesome! This time around MIL offered to throw the baby shower but my mom decided to throw a separate one (for my side of the family) since the bridal shower ended up being quite large. To each their own I guess...

It is harsh... and probably an ignorant assumption. My mom is throwing mine because she offered first. I have plenty of friends in town who I'm sure would have offered, but they're just as happy coming to the one my mom is throwing for me. I'm glad I don't live in Texas.

Sara 

micaelasmakeup

babya2010:

micaelasmakeup:

LCB34:

This comes up all the time.

I think it is a regional thing.

Where I am from and my social circle (the South and upper middle to upper class), it would be looked down upon but in lots of places it is perfectly acceptable.

 

Yeah it's a total southern thing.  Where i grew up yes it would be pitiful to not have a big group of friends to do this sort of thing.  You want to come from "good people" (That's the saying;)) That handle this sort of thing for you.  Grandma's are treated as guest of honor not host.  Because hopefully your mother has thrown a shower for one of her nieces or a friends dausghter lots of times before so now it's payback time.  When my church didn't offer to throw me a wedding shower my mother and grandmother were in tears over the shame of it!  They had been helping throw showers for girls for years and no one offered it back!?  They were beside themselves.  It's totally a regional thing.  If all the moms where you live do it then fine no biggy.  My mother would drop dead before she threw it.  BUT now bless the host's heart b/c my mother will still want her say in the planning tho! LOL:)

Exactly.  I'm from Texas and yes it is considered I don't think tacky is the word but just like pitiful.  Like the mom doesn't have any friends that can throw this poor girl a shower?  So it's really your circle.  I'm from Dallas and my mother would be mortified if no one offered (as in her friends or an aunt, etc) to throw her daughter a shower.

Yikes. "Pitiful??" that's a little harsh... So what if some people don't have a large circle of friends? My MIL and mom both planned my bridal shower together and it was awesome! This time around MIL offered to throw the baby shower but my mom decided to throw a separate one (for my side of the family) since the bridal shower ended up being quite large. To each their own I guess...

LCB34

micaelasmakeup:

babya2010:

micaelasmakeup:

LCB34:

This comes up all the time.

I think it is a regional thing.

Where I am from and my social circle (the South and upper middle to upper class), it would be looked down upon but in lots of places it is perfectly acceptable.

 

Yeah it's a total southern thing.  Where i grew up yes it would be pitiful to not have a big group of friends to do this sort of thing.  You want to come from "good people" (That's the saying;)) That handle this sort of thing for you.  Grandma's are treated as guest of honor not host.  Because hopefully your mother has thrown a shower for one of her nieces or a friends dausghter lots of times before so now it's payback time.  When my church didn't offer to throw me a wedding shower my mother and grandmother were in tears over the shame of it!  They had been helping throw showers for girls for years and no one offered it back!?  They were beside themselves.  It's totally a regional thing.  If all the moms where you live do it then fine no biggy.  My mother would drop dead before she threw it.  BUT now bless the host's heart b/c my mother will still want her say in the planning tho! LOL:)

Exactly.  I'm from Texas and yes it is considered I don't think tacky is the word but just like pitiful.  Like the mom doesn't have any friends that can throw this poor girl a shower?  So it's really your circle.  I'm from Dallas and my mother would be mortified if no one offered (as in her friends or an aunt, etc) to throw her daughter a shower.

Yikes. "Pitiful??" that's a little harsh... So what if some people don't have a large circle of friends? My MIL and mom both planned my bridal shower together and it was awesome! This time around MIL offered to throw the baby shower but my mom decided to throw a separate one (for my side of the family) since the bridal shower ended up being quite large. To each their own I guess...

Maybe it is harsh to you but, that is the culture in the circle's I have grown up in.  It is looked upon as "sad and pitiful" that you have no one to throw you a shower so your mom has to do it.

I don't think either is right or wrong, it is just a difference of society and culture.

SusanluvCharles

"Tacky??" No not at all. 

brown_bride07

well- (not that this is going to help). The Kardashians the mom threw the shower with the sisters (for Kourtney).

My mom will also be having a heavy hand in it. Since I was adopted she didn't get to have a shower (and people didn't do after adoption parties and such 30 years ago) so she's been excited since day one and frankly I don't have the heart to tell her she can't help plan..it would crush her. Plus my parents come from a much higher standard than my friends can afford so mom will be chipping in for the location and food. The shower will be in the same place my bridal shower was held.

toyah81

teamsweet:

It seems like an issue in the south, but in the NE (for any class of people), it's perfectly acceptable.

It's not an issue in the south. I live in Texas and it's perfectly fine here, no matter if you are lower, middle or upper class. I think it has more to do with the individual people that think it's tacky for their own reasons. Has nothing to do with where you live.

LCB34

toyah81:

teamsweet:

It seems like an issue in the south, but in the NE (for any class of people), it's perfectly acceptable.

It's not an issue in the south. I live in Texas and it's perfectly fine here, no matter if you are lower, middle or upper class. I think it has more to do with the individual people that think it's tacky for their own reasons. Has nothing to do with where you live.

I don't think Texas really falls into the deep South.  You would be hard pressed to find a mom throwing a baby shower (or wedding shower) for her daughter in New Orleans, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, etc.

christiecrofford

I don't think there's anything wrong with your mom throwing your shower. My mom did my bridal shower and I couldn't have asked for a better time. I'm super close to my mom anyways. I didn't sit and go, "Hmm...I wonder what the upper middle class thinks of this?" or "Wow, I think this might be considered pitiful by some." I had a blast and the memories are very dear to me. I think this is a case of doing what makes you happy!

toyah81

LCB34:

toyah81:

teamsweet:

It seems like an issue in the south, but in the NE (for any class of people), it's perfectly acceptable.

It's not an issue in the south. I live in Texas and it's perfectly fine here, no matter if you are lower, middle or upper class. I think it has more to do with the individual people that think it's tacky for their own reasons. Has nothing to do with where you live.

I don't think Texas really falls into the deep South.  You would be hard pressed to find a mom throwing a baby shower (or wedding shower) for her daughter in New Orleans, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, etc.

 

My family is from La and Ga and if it is taboo, it wasn't passed down to me. And I was also referring to someone mentioning texas specifically (I saw that a few times on some posts) and saying they are glad they don't live in the south. I love it here and I just think there are so many different parts that some people just have different views about this.

KeepingItLowKey

My mom had the shower at her house and did most of the planning, paid the caterer, etc... but my SIL and aunt were listed on the invite as the 'hosts'.

cbabych

Let me get this straight. People actually judge a mom to be for who is throwing her the baby shower? Wow.. I'm speechless. If there is nothing to judge people about you girls will come up with anything!!!

peanutbuttervibes

cbabych said:

Let me get this straight. People actually judge a mom to be for who is throwing her the baby shower? Wow.. I'm speechless. If there is nothing to judge people about you girls will come up with anything!!!

This thread is over 4 years old.

Dawson56

LCB34 said:

This comes up all the time.

I think it is a regional thing.

Where I am from and my social circle (the South and upper middle to upper class), it would be looked down upon but in lots of places it is perfectly acceptable.

 

I also live in the south (Atlanta) and I would also be considered upper middle/ lower upper class (not that it should matter).... But I've been to many baby showers that were hosted by the soon to be grandmothers. I think your mom having the shower is great. If you guys are anything like me and my mom, she knows me best!!!

Dawson56

LCB34 said:

toyah81:

teamsweet:

It seems like an issue in the south, but in the NE (for any class of people), it's perfectly acceptable.

It's not an issue in the south. I live in Texas and it's perfectly fine here, no matter if you are lower, middle or upper class. I think it has more to do with the individual people that think it's tacky for their own reasons. Has nothing to do with where you live.

I don't think Texas really falls into the deep South.  You would be hard pressed to find a mom throwing a baby shower (or wedding shower) for her daughter in New Orleans, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, etc.

Not really hard pressed to find.... Mothers throw baby showers for their daughters in Atlanta all the time. Also, I went to Auburn in Alabma (where my husband is from) and have been to many showers in Alabama that were thrown by grandmothers...

PrimRoseMama

Omg zombie thread!