Anyone with a stay at home hubby?

happyhollisday

Now that I'm 5 months along we are seriously considering that hubby will stay at home, continue to work on his master's degree, and I'll be the one going off to the trenches after my maternity leave. I have better insurance and have been with my company 2 years longer than him, so it makes sense since that I be the one continuing to work especially since we are working on buying a home. And day care costs...etc.

I can't imagine NOT going back to work, but I'm wondering how it will be emotionally after baby is here. Any advice from others on how this dynamic works for them?

Cynthia7461

My DH stays at home, and though I rather it be me, I am glad LO doesn't have to go to daycare.   My DH stayed home starting from day 1 so all during my ML we worked together and now I know he takes care of LO the way I would.  When I get home LO is all mine, so I get my time with him and on the weekends I take care of LO.  Having DH stay home is great cause I can call and check on LO a bunch of timesband I never have to worry if LO gets enough care and attention. Some women on the bump even skype during the day to ee their babies

Shauna07

DH has been taking  care of DS#1 for 18 months now.  At first he was nervous, but so was I I think both parents are nervous in the beginning.  I went back to work after 3.5 months, by then -- we had a lot of things worked out.  DH does a wonderful job with DS#1, and he'll be taking care of DS#2 when he arrives too.  It just makes sense, we wanted one of us to be at home with the kids, and I make more money than DH.  As pp said, I get DS#1 all to myself when I get home, we all have dinner together, DS#1 and I have bath and reading time, so it works out well.

 

jc&cat

Yup, DH is a SAHD and it's going very very well for us. It was not quite planned but due to a layoff, DH and I spent the last few weeks of my ML together and I went off to work. DH does some consulting work on the side to keep his hand in the industry. Overall my salary is higher, better benefits and flexible schedule so it really was the best decision. I would rather it be me but this is the next best thing we could ask for. DS is learning so so much and DH takes him everywhere. From regular errands (grocery shopping to home depot trips!) to library story time and the little gym they just started last week....DS is picking up on so much. We have alot of family time together which is great. We eat dinner as a family and have playtime before the nighttime routine begins. Similar to the post above, we're considering keeping this arrangement for #2. There are more than a few of us around as this is growing in popularity (partially driven by the economy but who cares), more daddys are getting in the stay at home business. Good luck!

mysticporter

DH is a SAHD.  We made the decision before we started having children, it works very well for our family.  (We preferred having one of us home, he's much more suited to it and I'm much more suited to the career, I'm much farther along in my career with better pay/benefits, etc.)  It can be a wonderful situation if it works well with the personality of both parents, but like any other situation for everyone to be happy it has to be a team effort and everyone has to be on the same page as far as who has what responsibilities, etc.  When we first started the biggest adjustments were the handling of the household chores (baby and beyond), DH getting into the swing of the SAH community (some support structure is very geared toward SAHM's, it can be tough), and me getting over the 'mommy knows best' thing and letting him parent with his own way of doing things that worked even if it wasn't how I'd do it.  Like PP said, it's still not common, but it's growing in popularity.

Maine333

Mine!  I just got back to work last week.  I think the fact that we were home together for most of my ML really helped us get into the swing of parenting in similar ways.  Honestly, my LO doesn't even seem to notice that I went back to work.  I wish it was me too but I am so happy that he is home with his Dad and they are doing great. 

tidetravel

Cynthia7461:

My DH stays at home, and though I rather it be me, I am glad LO doesn't have to go to daycare.   My DH stayed home starting from day 1 so all during my ML we worked together and now I know he takes care of LO the way I would.  When I get home LO is all mine, so I get my time with him and on the weekends I take care of LO.  Having DH stay home is great cause I can call and check on LO a bunch of timesband I never have to worry if LO gets enough care and attention. Some women on the bump even skype during the day to ee their babies

Cynthia could have written my reply.

DH and LO adjusted really well when I went back to work.  He works nights, and I work days, so one of us is always home.  The best part, IMO, is that DH is building a really close relationship with LO.  I mean, I'm mommy, so LO and I already have that bond, but with DH staying home, the two of them are able to form the type of bond that I don't know they would have if he was working.  LO adores him so much and its good that she gets to spend time with both of us indivdually and then together on the weekends.

 The hardest part, emotionally for me, is coming to grip with the fact that I can't pump enough milk during the day to keep up with what LO is eating.  I finally had to admit to myself last week that we needed to supplement one of her bottles during the day with formula.  At first, it was really difficult and I felt like a bad mom because I had to go back to work and couldn't provide for her, but as someone else pointed out; by going to work I am providing her with everything - food, shelter, clothes, toys, etc.   

arob2009

My DH stays home 80% of the time, the rest of the days, DS is w/ MIL.

At first it was tough b/c DH didnt really know what he was doing, but gradually, it got easier and easier for him. 

The downside is that when I get home from work, DH wants his break--so I don't really get a break for "me" time.  While I like that all the time I am home is time I can spend with DS--it's still tough to not get a break at all.

Also, I'd really like DH to make more money since we have childcare through MIL for free--but his industry is slow. 

 

GL!

Sharon&Paul

My DH stays home two days a week, since his hours got cut back at work. I went back to working 4 ten hour days to bring in the money. I carry the insurance and have much better benefits, so it just make sense. At times I wish I could be a SAHM, but I know this is best for us right now. I do get three days a week with my DD. The worst part for my DH is cooking. He hates it and keeps asking me to cook on the weekend for the week, but that is my time to spend with my DD not cook. Plus I don't feel like cooking after working 10 hours. He is learning slowly. I think he rather have me stay home and him work, but for now this is what we have to do for our family