does anyone else feel this way? — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

does anyone else feel this way?

DS is a spirited boy in a number of ways.  He requires a lot of one-on-one time and has a ton of energy.  He requires a lot from us as parents...and I mean this in a good way.  I also think it has to do with our parenting style.  We watch very little tv with DS and try to do fun activities when we are home on the weekends with him, since DH and I work full-time.  So..during DS's waking hours we are pretty much engaged with him the entire time.  I have tried to do a few projects here and there, but DS wants the attention, so I stop what I am doing.

My point is that I sometimes find parenting exhausting. a good and wonderful way.  If people ask when we will have more children I say not until DS is 4, because he requires so much of us.  Sometimes I get wierd looks like I can't handle this job of being a parent. 

Anyways, I just hope I am not alone in thinking that being a parent and giving 110% takes a lot out of you. 

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Re: does anyone else feel this way?

  • I completely understand. It does take alot out of you and its really hard to imagine having another baby around and how your first would deal with the lack of attention and how you would be able to handle both. I just started babysitting an 18mo and watching 2u2 is really hard. It helped me realize how little attention I could give to ds if I had a new baby around. At the end of the day with those two Im competely exhausted! I think people probably think its odd your so tired because alot of people dont engage with thier child as much as you sound like you do. Alot of times lo's are in bouncies, swings, jumperoos or watching tv.ectect.. When you are actively engaging in playtime with a toddler it is soooooo exhausting! They need a new thing happening every 2min or they get bored. Definetly keeps you on your toes.
  • Not at all.  I too want to wait until DS is 4.

    I could not handle two toddlers at one time.

  • DD is like that, too, and I identify with some of the thoughts you're having. I feel like I'm on my toes unless she's asleep and even then I'm thinking please please stay asleep. There's no way we could handle anything remotely like 2u2, try 2u5 maybe and that's a BIG maybe at this time. And I also wonder if people think I am being over-dramatic when I say that DD is high energy and lots of work.
  • I understand. Our DD is a very strong-willed child who was a very high needs infant. We went back and forth over whether we could handle a second child. We took the plunge when she was almost three - she was 3.5 when DS was born. She is a WONDERFUL big sister. We could not ask for a better older sister. She still frequently tests us, but she's great with her little brother. Our son is also a very laid back, easy baby. He's very different from our daughter.

    Perhaps when people ask if you plan to have another, you could go with a vague answer like "We might have another eventually, but right now we're focused on our son." It doesn't rule out having kids in the future, and it doesn't have a "we can't handle parenting" feel. Smile

  • mr+mrs - Yes, I get those feelings.  Sometimes I just feel awful, because there are days I count down the minutes until DS goes to bed.  I love him more than anything, but somedays I am exhausted.  And then there are days that are just long and rough!! 

    mcgee - Thanks for the suggestions.  I should try those instead.  I am totally convinced that our next LO will be the complete opposite and I will wonder why I ever thought DS was a handful!!!

    Today we had a great day, even though DS took a short nap. We did a few fun things and DS was extra cuddly...he has this new thing where he squeezes me tight for a hug and taps my back..he did this a lot today.  Great day....but it is only 7:30 and I am so ready for bed.  ahhh...picking up to do and some work!

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  • I totally get it. My DS is very high energy and has required a significant amount of our attention over the past 4 years of his life. He's within the past year and a half begun to be more self sufficient- we started trying for #2 when he was 2, but maybe a greater power knew it'd be better for us not to have DD until he was older b/c his 3's were an awful time for us.
  • Its still early in the game for us but we would like to wait until DD is 4 or 5 before having another.  People stop us on the street to tell us what an "alert" baby we have and I just smile while thinking to myself "maye this guy can entertain her for a second".  Rebecca takes 100% of my attention right now. 

    I have been trying to present it as We are not in hurry, that we want to enjoy every second and its true, but I also think I'd crack if we had another too soon.  That would be a shame since generally we're doing well.

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