Stay at Home Moms
wheelsonthebus
member
What does DH do on the weekends?
wheelsonthebus
member
Does he help out with the housework and children 50/50 or does he use the time to relax. I find I still do the majority of everything on the weekends. I guess I think of it as he's been working all week and wants to relax. Then I think that I never get a "weekend" and when I was working I had to do all the housework on the weekends! I will say that it's just nice having someone else around to play with DS and change the occasional diaper!
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Re: What does DH do on the weekends?
Since being home- i have made it a point to have ALL 'routine' cleaning done and out of the way. We just do regular maintenance house stuff (dishes, picking up, etc)- and nothing else. Last thing i want to do on the weekends is cleaning. I am making it more of a goal to get more of the errands done during the week as well-
I do- still do the majority of the 'work' watching Gisele- I really struggle with letting DH just go and take her- mostly because i know he doesn't watch her close enough. Its something i really need to let go of-
He does most of the diapers/getting her to the potty and he helps with getting her meals together- he plays with her a lot and does most of the book reading (in of itself is a job)-
we do need to work something out where he gets up with her one morning and i get up with her one morning to give each other some free/down time.
I also make a point of getting almost everything done (chores-wise) during the week, so all I do on weekends is general household maintenance. DH sometimes unloads the dishwasher, but usually I do all the household stuff.
We take turns sleeping in, and baby-duty is about 60% DH, 40% me. It works for us.
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He helps out with housework and with the baby.
Actually, we were feeling sorry for ourselves the other day because we feel like we never do anything fun anymore. It seems like all our free time is devoted to cleaning and home maintenance.
You know, it took us a good YEAR to figure out that we each really needed time to ourselves: time to sleep in and just relax, watch TV, go off alone to shop or catch a movie, and time to be with "the boys" (or "the girls") but once we did, it helped EVERYTHING in our marriage and as new parents 200%!!!
The easiest way for us was to split the weekend 50/50: I get Saturdays and he gets Sundays and we trade as needed, depending on when our groups of friends make plans.
Most Saturdays:
I sleep in until I wake up, shower, get dressed, eat and go about my day, doing whatever I need/want to do: grocery shopping for the week plus a trip to Target, get a pedicure and eyebrow wax, grab a coffee & a treat and do some shopping, run errands I'd rather do without Emily, call my mom and/or my friends, get online, go out for a Girl's Night or just have margaritas next door with my neighbor. I don't do anything other than tell DH sometime earlier in the week my plans and he knows he's on "Emily duty" 100% for the entire day on Saturday unless I've hired a sitter and Saturday night is date night. While I'm gone, he and Emily play, go to the park, he does ALL the laundry (that's always been his duty!), dusts and picks up the general clutter. He lays out food for me to cook or for him to grill Saturday night and sometimes he takes Emily to the McDonald's with the Playplace for lunch. Since the rain has stopped, they've been doing a LOT of weed-pulling/Gardening outside and they almost always go on what Emily calls a "nature walk" where she'll ride her Trike and he will carry a bucket for her to put her findings in. It's great time for the two of them!
Then, we switch and Sundays are his days! He shops, visits HomeDepot, watches sports on TV or at a local Bar/Grill, he hangs with our nextdoor neighbor and works on their sports cars together, most Sundays he washes his cars (yes, he has two!), he paints, plays video games and plays his guitar. Some times he runs down at the beach or just goes to Starbucks for a coffee and a treat and some time to browse online. I almost always take Emily to the park or on a nature walk and we almost always have a picnic lunch outside but the point is that I am in-charge of her 100% and am NOT to bother him as he didn't bother me on Saturday so that he can truly come & go as he pleases or just sit in front of the couch without having to tend to her... or me!
Later on in the day on Saturdays and Sundays when neither of us had pre-arranged plans, we always do things as a family: a quick trip to the park, nature walk, early dinner out together, whatever. Just fun family time!
To answer your question: if there is housework to do, which is rare because I clean as I go every day of the week and we have a Housekeeper that comes every Friday to do the bathrooms and baseboard/crownmolding dusting & cleaning and whatever else I need her to do in that hour, he does pitch in HAPPILY! Especially if he's already had his Sunday time to do what he wants.
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
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This exactly! ?So funny even our sleep in days are the same!?
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I use the weekends to relax, he does the majority of childcare (ie: takes care of all naps, most feedings). We each take a morning to sleep in, while the other gets up with Grant.
The stress and quantity of work during the week are equal - just in different ways. Unfortunately, HE has to play catch-up on the weekends because he didn't get as much time our child during the week - so he takes full advantage of every minute he has with him.
We are equal parents as much as possible, all the time. He gets up with Grant in the mornings and he is usually home in time to spend about 20 minutes playing before he puts him to bed.
I wouldn't say he does housework - but he has many tasks that are 'his'.
The weekends are pretty relaxed for both of us. We clean throughout the week, but we do usually have to catch up on laundry on the weekends. Our washer/dryer are in the basement, so it's a lot easier to do it when we're both here.
He spends a ton of time with DD on the weekends because he doesn't get to see her that much during the week. They usually have a daddy/daughter outing to a farm or the zoo or the park. I sleep in on Saturdays, and I always offer to let him sleep in on Sundays, but he usually gets up with me and DD.
Wow! I am impressed with TobeMrsShavers and her DH's system! I love that idea but I think it's harder with 2 to split the weekend 50/50 like that. Entertaining or leaving the house with 2 is just more work! And it's so important to us to hang out as a family on the weekends.
I work Fri and Sat nights until 12am right now so I get to sleep in on the weekends which is nice. But if we are both home, childcare is 50/50, even on week nights. Dh really doesn't clean but he will mop the kitchen floor from time to time and he does laundry if it piles up and I haven't gotten to it. I am hoping once we are all caught up on some bills, I can use some of "my" income to hire someone to help clean. Honestly, I really hate doing it!
DH needs a little more time to himself I think so we are trying to figure out a better system for that. He really just wants to hang out at home, watch tv and relax for his "me" time but if he is in the house it's hard for me not to expect him to help with the girls.
I was thinking the same thing. I actually read the whole thing to my DH who said it sounded great, and then he asked how many kids they had! LOL!
It's very hard to do with 3 kids in the house. DH helps out, and I get free time, but I hardly EVER get to sleep in. Just the way it works in our house.
Our weekends are family time for us and it works!
As a rule, we don't do housework or errands/shopping on the weekends - I do this during the week, or, to be honest, not at all. Weekends are strictly for fun, relaxing family time for us. We split whatever cooking and dishes that happen. We have two, so we split kid duty pretty evenly, but I normally let him sleep in. If I have had an especially rough week sleep-wise, I may get a sleep-in or a nap.
He helps - pretty close to 50/50. This house and these kids are his too, so there is no way I'm doing everything all weekend while he relaxes.
ETA: We also alternate mornings getting up with Ben during the week as well as on the weekends. Saturdays are my mornings to sleep in and Sundays are his.