Trying to Get Pregnant
Being happy for the "graduates"
A very good friend of mine just found out that she's pregnant. We both started TTC at the same time and were kind of each other's "support system" through the whole thing. Of course, I'm so very thrilled for her, she's ecstatic and I know she's going to be a great mommy!
... But I can't help being super jealous/a little bummed out in the back of my mind.
I feel horrible for feeling like that. How do you girls deal?!?
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Re: Being happy for the "graduates"
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
S/PAIFW , S/PALW
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As long as you don't let it affect your friendship with her or how you treat her, it's totally normal to feel a little jealousy.
Onward and upward. Good luck TTC!
Word.
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
It is normal to feel that way. I know I went through it a lot when all of my friends and cousins were getting pregnant and I wasn't.
But then, I thought of all the babies i was going to be able to play with, hold, and buy things for and that made me much happier.
And now, all those people that I was happy for when it was their turn, are supporting me now that it is my turn.
Have a drink and know that these feelings will pass!
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
aCg 3.1.07 | hCr 5.5.11
Its normal to feel bummed out. I truly am happy for all of my friends that are expecting and know they will be just as happy for me when my time comes!
This.
But seriously--it's hard to see people get KU, especially on accident or super fast, but I'm always happy about new babies. I try to focus on the baby rather than the mama. That makes it easier for me...
My family has 3 9month old triplets and a 6 month old singleton. When we started TTC- they were already pregnant but the delivery (without our own positive) was a little rough. When we started TTC our due date would have been quite close to the others so every time I see them- learning to sit up, eating baby food- milestones passing by- there's a part of me that's incredibly sad that we're not a part of that.
I volunteered to babysit one day a week (all four share caregivers) as good natured "practice" for our own... at the time expecting that we'd obviously be pregnant very very soon- we'd been trying for months but we were still under year and there was no reason to beleive that it wouldn't happen for us soon...
And now that we're in our 19th cycle I'm having to come to terms with the fact that it really might not be happening for us "soon". That my best friend who was "a year or so away" from trying when we started trying- might surprise us any day now with a pregnancy. That we've only got 2 more chances for a 2010 baby based on my usual cycle. That our child is going to be well behind his/her 4 young cousins instead of part of babypalooza.
How do I deal? I hug a baby. I adore them. I focus on the fact that these babies are amazing and how much I love babies in general. I compartmentalize. I cry like a child on cycle day 1, let myself mourn and find some glimmer of hope about the next cycle- as simple as "Wouldn't it be awesome to have the winter baby we wanted- next EDD is 12/1/10." or as complicated as "I'll adjust my B6 and see if I can squeeze one more day out of my luteal phase". You can't make the "I wish" go away- all you can do is let them know the important things- that you think they'll be a great mom, that their kids are adorable, and even admit in a light manner that you're terribly jealous.
Friends for 15 years. Married 8. TTC since January 2009
2010 Diagnosis: Anovulation and Severe MFI
2011 Treatment:
IVF w/ICSI #1 Antagonist: 2 blasts - c/p - BFN 04.22
FET #1: 1 blast/1 early blast - BFP 06.22 - m/c 06.30 @6w0d
07-11 RPL: MTHFR C677T Heterozygous & Slightly elevated ACLA IgM
FET #2: 1 morula - BFN: 9.02
January '12: IVF #2
Started BCP and Metformin (New!) 12-14 for stimming in January
Dum spiro, spero.
?SAIF/PAIF/PgAL/PAL always welcome?
I understand your feelings. I too have felt the ugly, green-eyed monster of jealousy emerge when someone announces their good news. The way that I've dealt before is to create something for them. Maybe get them a stuffed animal for the new arrival or a baby scrapbook.
That way I feel like I am contributing something positive and it makes me feel more benevolent to the situation. Otherwise I feel like a big ol' crab about it.
HTH.