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How/if to acknowledge co-workers cancer diagnosis?
in Working Moms
I need some advice.
There's a woman at work who I've had an okay relationship with. We're not particularly close, though we've worked together off an on for many years. I just heard through the grapevine that she has breast cancer. My mom is a breast cancer survivor so it's something that's close to my heart. I feel compelled to send the co-worker an email, but I'm not sure what to say. I don't want to be intrusive, but I don't want to ignore what she's going through. I'm currently working on a project at a different facility so I haven't seen her in person in a couple months. How would you handle it?
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Re: How/if to acknowledge co-workers cancer diagnosis?
It depends on her personality but I'm inclined to agree with PP. I have a friend who was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (started as breast), and she was, and is, extremely sensitive about who knows what.
I think the best way to support her would be to pray for her recovery.
I probably would send something, but it depends on the office 'culture' and how definite the grapevine is....our office is very 'open' and we are close so I would definitely reach out to someone. But in other places I've worked it was very 'keep to yourself'.
I agree with this. If this is shaky "did you hear that..." gossip, I probably wouldn't say anything, this may be news she wasn't willing to share yet. If you've talked to people who are close to her, and she is sharing the news, I would send an email expressing your support.
Do you think its likely you'll see her in person in the near future? I ask because email is a hard medium to use to address sensitive topics such as this. I might wait to run into her to say something in person.
In my old department (I've switched departments within the same institution), I worked with a woman who has persistent problems with cancer (basically, it keeps coming back and spreading). Every time I run into her, I just ask her how she's feeling, letting her tell me how it's going if she wants to. But, it would be a really awkward topic to email about, I think.
I guess the reason I felt compelled to contact her is that I remember how much it meant to me when my own family was going through the same thing. I also remember certain people who avoided the topic, and that was honestly hurtful. But it's true, email is an awkward medium to address something so personal with someone I'm not really close to. I'll wait until the next time I see her in person to ask how she's doing.
Thanks everyone for your input. I really appreciate it.
If your source is someone you trust to have all the correct information, I would simple send an email along that says "thinking of you and if you need a shoulder to lean on, let me know and we grab lunch/coffee, etc". If you know the type of cancer and it is close to what your mom went through, I would also share that information and let her know that your mom would be willing to talk to her if she has any questions along the way (if your mom is that is).
My older DD was born with a brain injury (is totally fine now) and things were very scary and unsure for a bit at first. All of the emails that I got from friends, family and coworkers saying simple that they were thinking of us helped me make it through the tough times, knowing that people cared. A bunch of people offered meals and thinks like that which also helped a lot since we were at the hospital most of the time in the beginning.