Parenting after 35

Did you fulfill the.. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Did you end up living your dreams - job, life, etc? Would you do anything different?

Re: Did you fulfill the.. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

  • Not even a little bit....I would absolutely do things differently but I am not sure how or what. Sadly at 37 I still have no idea what I want to do with my life career wise. The 21 year old me would be really disappointed in the now me. ( other than fletcher and DH of course). I am thinking about going back to school to get yet another degree......not sure though.
  • I got my degree in Broadcasting and worked for 20-some years in television news.  Lived my dream of working in a top 20 market.  An amazing time and incredible experiences, but by my late 30s, it was fast becoming apparent that I needed to do something else.  As I grew older, I became more disillusioned with the business and the politics of it all.  Not to mention the direction the modern day media is taking.  But I digress!

    Always dreamed I'd find my "Mr. Right."  A lot of praying and patience finally paid off and I'm very fortunate to have met my husband.  I'm now surprised to find I'm a SAHM.   NOT what I envisioned, but I'm incredibly thankful that I married a man who is smart, well educated and well employed so that I can stay home with the baby.


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  • I'm doing the job I wanted (I would love to see exotics but doing shelter medicine is a fine trade-off for me), have a great man and amazing friends, live in a fantastic city, started a family when I wasn't sure we would be able to - I have so much to be thankful for. I am really excited that the end of his training is just 2 years and 3 months away...and with it finally comes financial security (a house, a car that isn't a piece of crap - it's just stuff but, well, you know...).

    15-20 years ago when I thought of myself as an adult I did have a slightly different picture. There are personal flaws that I can't believe I am still struggling with as I approach 40. Why have I not conquered certain things like being more patient, not putting my foot in my mouth....I get so frustrated with myself sometimes.

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  • Nope.  I guess its because I never really knew what I wanted to do.  I kinda just went where life took me.
  • This is a great post and question! I *did* fulfill what I wanted to be--but I think I'm having a mid-life crisis, because now I'm not sure I want to be here. And I'm not sure what I want to do. I have a master's in a field different from what I do now--education--and while I used it for a few years, I'm not really using it now. I have visions of doing something completely different, something that'd require another degree, but I don't know how practical that is. So basically I'm completely conflicted.

    I did, however, realize that I really love being a mom--I never was one to fantasize about having babies, but now that I have one and we've settled in, I am overwhelmed with how awesome she is and I want more. :)

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  • I am nothing like or where I thought I would be.

    As a child I trained as a ballet dancer for ten years. Once the academy said it was time to commit - dance full time and leave regular school my parents decided to stop my training.  To this day I wonder "what if."

    As for my DH, I had always dated guys who could be in a JCrew catelog.  Very preppy and DH was completely different. Now after 16 years I have completely rubbed off on him and he is my well-dressed and very dapper husband.

    I never thought I would be a mom or that I would love my son as much as I do. I never thought I would gain as much weight as I have.

  •  I was able to sing professionally and make a living at it for 20 years, travel, etc - I feel very lucky. There were times that I had dreams of "making it big" and getting a recording contract, but I look at a closet full of long dresses I used to wear every night and I don't miss it, nor would I trade anything for being a Mama now. She truly is my dream come true... (and DH too!)

     Mari - there is nothing wrong with going where life takes you - I think this is a beautiful way to live.

  • Nope.   lol

    I wanted to be a stay at home mom who was a famous artist.  I need to get back to art... I've let that go for SO long. Not sure why. And unless we win the lottery, I won't ever be a SAHM.  C'est la vie.


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  • No, but I am really happy with where I landed. I am from Vienna, Austria, and never imagined I would live in San Francisco one day, but that's where I landed and I love it. I never imagined I would marry a German in San Francisco, but it is great. I never imagined I would do the job I have when I got my PhD in mathematics, but I really enjoy it. And I always thought I didn't want kids, but I love being Sarah's mama and we are hoping to have one more child.
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  • Not by a long shot. I thought I'd be teaching European history at an Ivy League college. Instead, I'm a housewife.
  • I wanted to be the first female president.  So far, its not looking good for that dream.  Stick out tongue
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  • Well I'm not a foreign correspondant living in Paris, so the answer is NO!! Like Moiselle, life led me in another direction. I wish I had the confidence when i was younger and maybe my career aspirations may have gone that way, but I'm very content working part-time in the library and spending the rest of the time with my baby girl.
  • I'm not a lawyer (my goal when I was 8) or an architect (my goal when I was 17).  But I'm quite happy with how I ended up -- I'm married to a lawyer, have a few architect friends.
  • I ended up with someone else's dream job.  :)  I wouldn't do anything differently only because it brought me to where I am today, and with Margaux and Rom, but if I could guarantee both of those things?

    I would take a firmer hand in saying "no" to projects that didn't interest me.  My design specialization is technical design, weapon balance and work on shooters, when I hate hate HATE shooters.  I feel like every first person shooter that goes out with my name in the credits eats a little more of my soul.  I'd decide against the money and for the games that I enjoy, if I could do it over.  I let myself be pressured into the direction my career took.  :(

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  • imagesnwfields:
    Not even a little bit....I would absolutely do things differently but I am not sure how or what. Sadly at 37 I still have no idea what I want to do with my life career wise. The 21 year old me would be really disappointed in the now me. ( other than fletcher and DH of course). I am thinking about going back to school to get yet another degree......not sure though.

    This answer is almost exactly what I would write.  I don't like where I am in most ways, but I also don't know what it is I DO want.  I would have loved to have been a professional singer, but I lack "star quality," so that wasn't a realistic goal.  Still, I've thought about going back to school to get a music degree.  But besides that, if I could quit my job today, I'm not sure what I would do for work.

  • Mmmm...not really.  I wanted to be a registered nurse, a la Florence Nightengale.  I put myself through school, got my degree, got my license, but never went into it.  I was so idealistic about nursing, and found out quickly that it is a business like any other with profit margins, etc.  BUT - I wouldn't change it for anything.  I love my job and it has afforded me to do a lot of things I never thought I'd be able to do.  I'm working on getting another degree (paid by work) but it's on hold right now.  I've traveled and partied - sometimes at the same time.  I always wanted to be a mommy and part of me wishes I had been able to start earlier so I could have a houseful, but I had to wait for the perfect daddy.  And now I have the perfect family - well, perfect for me anyway.
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  • i am not even close to what i wanted to do/be. i wouldn't change any of it (not even the seriously bad stuff) because it has made me who i am, and other than the hormonal crap lately, i like me.
  • For a short while I moved to L.A. to be an actress and did get an agent and manager and did book a few jobs but I went to late. I was older than the "young" actresses and felt like things got harder. I gave up when I met my hubby and we left L.A. Now I'm in sales Sad Word of advice, please support your childrens dreams and let them know they can. My parents always told me it was a pipe dream and I needed to quit playing around. I had no confidence to go out there earlier in life and always will wonder what if.
  • I'll let you know when I get there (grown up, that is) Wink

    My favorite quote is from George Eliot.

    "It is never too late to be what you might have been"

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  • Nope!  Never pictured life as it is today.  Would I do things differently?  That one is hard because, yes, there are things when I think back logically that I should have done differently or would have wanted to but I had done those things differently I wouldn't have DH, DDx2, and DS.  So no I guess things were suppose to go the way the went.  It doesn't mean that I don't feel a sense of loss about some things though.
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  •  Daises, I so agree with you - it is never too late for dreams....sometimes dreams change and sometimes you realize you are already living a pretty great dream!

     I think you are all rockstars Cool

  • I'm a little late to the game ... but, am I who I wanted to be?  um, yes, sort of ... i've always wanted to be in the design field.  Went to college, got a degree in interior design with a smidge in architecture.  My entire family (including my parents) have owned either restaurants an/or hotels so i've always been in the hospitality industry as well.  For the past 14yrs i've worked for 3 top and very well known European lighting manufacturers that light up places like Disney parks, Eiffel Tower, national accounts (Starbucks, etc) and so forth.  I've been everything from a project manager to currently an Inside sales & customer service manager.  When I left my last job for this one, there was buzz about it! I felt kinda special when I heard about the entire US talking about me, from my agents in SF to other agents in Chicago.  It made me realize that I have done something important in my life and I was proud ... and I am now done!  I've accomplished what "I" feel is enough. 

    DH and I spoke and before the twins are home I will become a SAHM.  I was an only child so the thought of me even having kids was very frightening, but I figured other moms have done it so why can't I?  We feel that me staying home will be the best for the family.  and who knows what will happen 5 years from now?  I may open up my own lighting agency.  :o)

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  • I would do things the same, but would write more everyday.  I would have published a novel before DD came along.

    Other than that, things turned out pretty well.  I *love* the fact that I didn't have a kid until 38, and had a chance to pursue my passions while I was still young.

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