IL's remodeling "gift": RANT — The Bump
Parenting after 35

IL's remodeling "gift": RANT

This may sound bad but I really don't care anymore, I am so burned out on being polite. 

So the IL's have been here for 10 days, their Christmas gift to us was to come out and help us redo our bathroom and half bath. This sounded great and now it is just misery. The first week we fought about what stayed and what got torn out of the bathroom, I wanted to keep the 1920's built-in drawers and floor but my FIL got totally pissed and yelled at me about how they were "peices of ***" and that he wouldn't work on them and how we were ruining his timeline, bla bla bla. So after a lot of crying I gave in, because they are paying for it I pretty much have to do what they want. I now have no storage in my bathroom and one of my favorite things in the house is gone. It was a huge disaster. Plus he kept ranting at me about how DH and I would never do it and that that is "fine" but we need a reality check and how DH is basically not a hard worker and I would "rather" do other things. I didn't retaliate or argue, I just tried to make peace and let it go but it was really offensive. He even called my Mom to talk to her about our "living conditions" instead of taling to us. So passive-aggressive.

Now they are finally almost done, I haven't had a shower working in the house for a week. I have been going to the gym to shower or splashing myself from the kitchen sink. They consistently seem to wait until LO is down for a nap before hammering/ screwing things in, they used her burp cloth as a rag for tiling yesterday. Their constant attitude with me is driving me crazy, I offer to cook, try to talk to them, tell them how great it is (even though I wish I still had my drawers) and still they are quiet and pissy. 

I sat down with my MIL and we seemed to work it through, I told her how much I appreciate their efforts and support and that seemed to help for a minute. But I don't think I will let them give us a "gift" like this again. I am grateful for all their hard work and desire to help us out but the bullying and strings I can live without.

All the while I have been sick with an evil cold for a month and I think I have a new cold starting. I am exhausted from the first tri hormones, have raw nips, and am losing my milk. There were already in my hallway at 7:30 this morning when I got up, I just want my house back.

Any similar experiences with IL's? How did you deal with them?

(end rant)

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Re: IL's remodeling "gift": RANT

  • No similar experiences, just wanted t offer my support.

    I'm sorry something so nice turned out so crappy.

    Left Hug 

  • Yeah....... That wouldn't have worked for me. Someone would be buried under the floorboards ala "The Tell-Tale Heart". You have the patience of an angel. Angel

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  • No similar experience but I think I would go postal.  You have my sympathies.  And these: Drinks Drinks Drinks

    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • If this is a gift, they should let you determine how you want it remodeled even if it's not their style.  I would just try to make it through the week and NEVER accept another "gift" like that from them again!
  • image Daisiesinmygarden:
    Yeah....... That wouldn't have worked for me. Someone would be buried under the floorboards ala "The Tell-Tale Heart". You have the patience of an angel. Angel

    THIS.  OMG.  Sorry, no advice, just sympathy.  Left HugDrinks

  • My ILs are pretty awful when they come visit but nothing like this. They don't help at all and expect me to wait on them hand and foot.

    I guess I now see the opposite side if they tried to "help" out around the house.  I am so sorry you are having to deal with them

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