Since it's UO Thursday

leslie13510

Here's mine.  Feel free to post yours in this thread, or flame me to high hell if you want. 

I think some people on this board can go a little far with the snark sometimes, but lately the tri boards (especially 1st tri) have been MUCH MUCH worse.  So much so, that if I were pregnant right now there's no way in hell I'd post on them.

I mean really, flaming someone to high hell because she is worried, with good reason, about her baby having Downs, and her and her husband have made the VERY personal decision that if that turns out to be the case they will terminate?  No it may not be what you would do, but there is a lot that goes into that decision, and unless you've had to make that decision for yourself I don't think you have the right to judge her for it. 

Or someone making a post about liking baby girl dresses so much that she's already bought one, but will return it if it's a boy, and everyone jumps on her case about how she should just be happy with a healthy baby?  NOWHERE in her post did she say that she wanted a girl over a boy, just that she thought the damn dresses were cute. 

FFS, get off your damn high horses, flame people when it's appropriate and they deserve it, and don't be a biitch about every damn thing just because you can. 

/UO vent

 

ETA - "you" in this post does not mean a specific person, just the tri boards as a whole

jlee1106

I hear ya. Snark is a fine art. Being a *** is totally different. Although appropriate at times, as well.

No flames from me.

I know, I have an UO. I must.....::taps chin::

Hmmmmm...... 

oh-zysbaby

I have noticed this too. It's gone from flaming people who are stupid and unreasonable to flaming anyone with a question or emotion. Or from flaming someone from being publicly irresponsible with their finances to jumping on anyone with a credit card. It's too much.

robinsokj

Are you referring to my response to her post?  It wasn't meant to be snarky

Mysterious_wife

The tri boards are a breed of their own.

leslie13510

robinsokj:

Are you referring to my response to her post?  It wasn't meant to be snarky

I'm referring to almost every response in her post.

jlee1106

Mysterious_wife:

The tri boards are a breed of their own.

Yeah, this too.

krate24

audreybee24:

There's a big difference between snark and just being cruel.

Definitely.  I think that some people just don't see that line, though.  Or they are trying too hard to impress others and be snarky that they take it too far.

dmogmo

I totally agree.

Saturnmazz

oh-zysbaby:

I have noticed this too. It's gone from flaming people who are stupid and unreasonable to flaming anyone with a question or emotion. Or from flaming someone from being publicly irresponsible with their finances to jumping on anyone with a credit card. It's too much.

this.  I read this board alot, but don't post much beause of that sort of thing. 

robinsokj

I almost never respond to a newb's post because I feel like I might be flamed for not flaming them. 

I also never charted, or read TCOYF, or joined FF so I am just as naive as many of the newbs

aerotigergirl

robinsokj:

I almost never respond to a newb's post because I feel like I might be flamed for not flaming them. 

Really? I'm surprised by this. I mean, I know this board is snarky, but I didn't think it was quite to the level that regs felt obligated to flame newb's posts just simply because they're newbs.

robinsokj

aerotigergirl:

robinsokj:

I almost never respond to a newb's post because I feel like I might be flamed for not flaming them. 

Really? I'm surprised by this. I mean, I know this board is snarky, but I didn't think it was quite to the level that regs felt obligated to flame newb's posts just simply because they're newbs.

Many of them have questions that I never would have had the answer to when I was at their point in the baby making process.  Some of them get very snarky responses.  I just say nothing.  

On the other hand, some people are very helpful. 

buckin

robinsokj:

I almost never respond to a newb's post because I feel like I might be flamed for not flaming them. 

I also never charted, or read TCOYF, or joined FF so I am just as naive as many of the newbs

This makes me sad. We have had a lot of newbs come on that have been welcomed and incorporated, including ALL of us at one point or another. We've had several just this week in fact.

It makes me sad that you feel this way when I don't think its the case AT ALL. Do some people take it a little too far sometimes? Yes. Do I think its a habit for everyone? Not at all.

I personally like new people. Creates more conversations and activity. I just have issues with stupidity and/or self-righteousness when their immediate expectations aren't met.

I also agree that the tri-boards have gotten out of hand lately on both sides of the snark equation...and should God bless me again, I"m not sure I will venture that way this time around.

robinsokj

buckin:

robinsokj:

I almost never respond to a newb's post because I feel like I might be flamed for not flaming them. 

I also never charted, or read TCOYF, or joined FF so I am just as naive as many of the newbs

This makes me sad. We have had a lot of newbs come on that have been welcomed and incorporated, including ALL of us at one point or another. We've had several just this week in fact.

It makes me sad that you feel this way when I don't think its the case AT ALL. Do some people take it a little too far sometimes? Yes. Do I think its a habit for everyone? Not at all.

I personally like new people. Creates more conversations and activity. I just have issues with stupidity and/or self-righteousness when their immediate expectations aren't met.

I also agree that the tri-boards have gotten out of hand lately on both sides of the snark equation...and should God bless me again, I"m not sure I will venture that way this time around.

I know not everyone does it, and I didn't mean for it to come out that way.  But it seems like when there is a newb around, people come out of the woodwork to make them feel dumb.  Not always the case, but I do see it a bit. 

preppynewlywed

I HATE grits.

 

 

 

 

caseybuchda

I disagree with the flaming newbs posts as well. I haven't seen a newbie get flamed for a while and when they do it's because they are completely not cut out to be posting on this board. The last few newbs botb has been very welcoming to and now I see them posting frequently. If a new poster is flamed it's because (most of the time) they deserve it.

roshybride

krate24:

audreybee24:

There's a big difference between snark and just being cruel.

Definitely.  I think that some people just don't see that line, though.  Or they are trying too hard to impress others and be snarky that they take it too far.

I think this is a big part of it. It has gotten to the point that often it is perceived that the 'popular' regulars are the snarkiest and that if you aren't snarky you don't cut it. I don't agree, but I think a lot of the newbs come in thinking that if they aren't snarky, they won't be accepted or even possibly shunned. I think that it is because some of the snarkier women tend to be the most vocal, but I know that most of the regulars snark only at peer and utter idiots.  Also, I think that since we have gotten such a reputation for being snarky, that even nice answers (like lurk, read TCOYF, etc) get taken as snark.

aerotigergirl

roshybride:

I think this is a big part of it. It has gotten to the point that often it is perceived that the 'popular' regulars are the snarkiest and that if you aren't snarky you don't cut it. I don't agree, but I think a lot of the newbs come in thinking that if they aren't snarky, they won't be accepted or even possibly shunned. I think that it is because some of the snarkier women tend to be the most vocal, but I know that most of the regulars snark only at peer and utter idiots.  Also, I think that since we have gotten such a reputation for being snarky, that even nice answers (like lurk, read TCOYF, etc) get taken as snark.

Speaking as a newb, I can definitely agree with this part of your statement. I can definitely understand giving a person the side-eye if they deserve it for something that is clearly ridiculous, but I have a hard time being mean to people simply in an effort to impress regs. So, lots of times I just say nothing unless I have something nice to say, which makes me feel a bit like Pollyanna. Because of this, I do feel like it's hard to make friends with people, and I'm intimidated by a lot of the regs.

firsttogo

I whole-heartedly agree. There happen to be a small group on 1st tri who are a little too big for their preggie-panties. There is talk of "taking over" and "they won't know what hit them" on this board or that.

It is a nasty environment, and I feel embarrassed to even admit I post over there ever. 

I posted yesterday that pregnancy and parenting are too hard to be this way to each other. It is nonsense, and ignorance at it's best. 

What saddens me most is that a few of the "mean girls" were fellow infertiles, and we try to have an empathetic, supportive view on the boards. Multiple personalities I guess. 

lesullenger

Saturnmazz:

oh-zysbaby:

I have noticed this too. It's gone from flaming people who are stupid and unreasonable to flaming anyone with a question or emotion. Or from flaming someone from being publicly irresponsible with their finances to jumping on anyone with a credit card. It's too much.

this.  I read this board alot, but don't post much beause of that sort of thing. 

Ditto!! I am in the same boat...

Jenandtonica

oh-zysbaby:

I have noticed this too. It's gone from flaming people who are stupid and unreasonable to flaming anyone with a question or emotion. Or from flaming someone from being publicly irresponsible with their finances to jumping on anyone with a credit card. It's too much.

It's become more annoying than "Could I be pregnant?" posts.

Beabs

I've been posting for less than a month now, and no one's flamed me.  I've only gotten support so far, but there was a lot of other people (or maybe only one person?) getting flamed at that time, so maybe that's why!