What to tell DC#1

ldoo

I've read that when the older child wants to do something with you, but you can't at the moment, because you're nursing, etc., that you shouldn't say, "Mommy can't because baby needs to eat."

In other words, don't "blame" it on the baby. Come up with another reason why you're not free at the moment.

What I'm curious about is what you ladies said. Did you just say you're busy and you can't right now? Did you distract with something else? Did you say you can't now, but in a few minutes we'll do what you want?

How did you handle it?

Thanks!

howleyshell

We started working on delayed gratification before the baby was born.

Simple things like him wanting milk and I'd reply:  "I'll get your milk once I (fill in the blank)".  I started off with short delays and gradually worked up to longer delays.

I also learned how to play with him with my speech when I was not physically attending to his desires.  I'd sing or ask him questions to keep his mind off the fact that he was waiting for something he wanted.

I don't think telling him I'll do something with or for him after I feed the baby is any different from telling him I'll do something with or for him after I finish unloading the dishwasher.

As for nursing?  We had all kinds of tricks:  books, flash cards, london bridge with my feet on the coffee table and him between my legs "locking him up", I even learned to play soccer in the living room with a baby on the boob.

You'll find your groove and the older child learns soon enough that they don't always get what they want exactly when they want it. 

ldoo

Thanks for the info! Yeah, I've made sure not to cater to her every desire right away, and really, she's pretty patient. She likes me to sit by her when she eats, but I often make her wait a bit. Besides, I can sit there and nurse at the same time.

The only other question I have for you is: Did you call your soccer games Boob Ball?

scherza

I did the delayed gratification and playing games while I fed the baby as well.

DD wants to get in my lap now sometimes when DS is eating, and I tell her that Brother is having a turn in Mama's lap and she can have a turn when he's finished.  When he finishes, I put him down and pick her up, and she's cool with that.  (Turns are very big right now at our house!)