Today my friend asked: Why are some women more fertile than others? — The Bump
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Today my friend asked: Why are some women more fertile than others?

Is there a scientific answer for this? Why do some women get pregnant right away, and for others it takes months, years, or sometimes simply does not happen naturally? I am sorry if this question is naive. I feel like I got REALLY lucky getting pregnant the first month I tried, but I just kind of assumed I would because my mom did. Anyway, just wondering if anyone knows.

Re: Today my friend asked: Why are some women more fertile than others?

  • I don't even know where to begin with this question.  And I don't mean that in a snarky way - I honestly don't know where to start because there isn't really one reason that you can point to and say "that is why".

     

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  • imageLCB34:

    I don't even know where to begin with this question.  And I don't mean that in a snarky way - I honestly don't know where to start because there isn't really one reason that you can point to and say "that is why".

     

     

    This. 

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  • imageanderhea:
    I think there are sooo many factors-- genetics, diet, lifestyle... and I'm sure things that we've never even thought of!

    And then there are people where those don't make sense - good genes, healthy, etc yet still infertile.

    If someone finds the answer - there are millions of ladies that would love it!

  • I assumed I would too b/c my mom had 5 kids without any problems.  It took us 3 years.  Sometimes genetics have nothing to do with it. 
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  • I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.
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  • imageLapsfam:
    Is there a scientific answer for this? Why do some women get pregnant right away, and for others it takes months, years, or sometimes simply does not happen naturally? I am sorry if this question is naive. I feel like I got REALLY lucky getting pregnant the first month I tried, but I just kind of assumed I would because my mom did. Anyway, just wondering if anyone knows.

    I think this is why many people (like myself) have the diagnosis of "unexplained infertility".  It's just that...unexplained.

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  • imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    I'm sorry but that is crap.  Ask any fertility doctor. 

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  • imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

  • For the record, stress has nothing to do with it.

    I don't know why I have lost my three babies, and neither do the doctors. We know what went wrong, generally speaking, but not why. We have ZERO family history of pregnancy issues on either side, are both quite healthy and age is not a factor. And yet clearly, something is going on.

    There are ten million reasons this happens. All of them suck balls.

  • imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

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  • imageShayna0182:
    imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

    It's called probability and odds.  With a 20% chance every month, something is bound to stick eventually.  Stressing can delay ovulation, but that's about it.

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  • Yeah, I guess that's what the diagnosis unexplained infertility is.
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  • imagerochella:
    imagemrsh0606:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    I'm sorry but that is crap.  Ask any fertility doctor. 

     

    And it's extraordinarily offensive to T-TTC women.

    Um, yes...and this too!

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  • Again, ask any fertility doctor is there is something to "relaxing" and they'll tell you no. 

    I was relaxed for two out of the three years we were trying.  Funny enough - I got pregnant on my most stressful cycle in three years. 

    Don't speak of topics which you have no clue about. 

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  • I also got pregnant during the most stressful time in my life - after losing my job...
  • ::runs to tell everyone who's having trouble TTC to just take a vacation::

    GENIUS!! 

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  • imageShayna0182:
    Yeah, I guess that's what the diagnosis unexplained infertility is.

    I'm confused. ??

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  • imageShayna0182:
    imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

    It's called probability, not relaxing.

    imageimage
  • imageLCB34:

    I don't even know where to begin with this question.  And I don't mean that in a snarky way - I honestly don't know where to start because there isn't really one reason that you can point to and say "that is why".

     

    This exactly.

  • imageShayna0182:
    imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

    Because they happen to have sex on vacation and hit the 20% chance of getting pregnant that cycle.

    The idea that relaxation is a diagnosis for IF is extremely ignorant and rude.

  • imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    WOW.  Indifferent 

  • imageShayna0182:
    imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.


    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

    FFS.

    Seriously.  

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  • imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    I really wouldn't argue with the women who have gone through Infertility.  It's the most agonizing thing you could ever deal with. 

    I'd just back gracefully out of this one.

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  • imageCathyMD:
    imageShayna0182:
    imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

    Because they happen to have sex on vacation and hit the 20% chance of getting pregnant that cycle.

    The idea that relaxation is a diagnosis for IF is extremely ignorant and rude.

    But how many women have had IF issues and you DON'T hear these stories? You only remember the stories that are amazing like your friend randomly getting pregnant on vacation. Your comments are hurtful to those that have dealt with IF and those that will never have children because I guess "they didn't relax enough"

    image
    imageimage
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  • So why are you asking about women's fertility?  I was always under the impression that it too two people to make a baby?  About half of couples going through infertility have male factor as an issue.   

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  • It's called biology. And luck.

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  • imageShayna0182:
    imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

    This from a woman who had to "try" for 3 months to have her first child and then not at all for her second? WOW. YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON INFERTILITY.


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  • imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    You get 2 points for ignorance.  Angry

    Those of us who had trouble getting pregnant - yeah we were as relaxed as anybody else in the beginning.  It's just that after having your sex life revolve around baby making for a few years it does tend to get kinda stressful.  

    And as far as why some women get pregnant on vacation - um, hello, statistical chance.  Unless someone has a physical deformity that 100% prevents them from conceiving, there is some chance every month - including when they're on vacation. 

     
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  • imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is

    Please don't ever say this to an infertile.  You will get your head bitten off!

    ~Olivia~
  • imageMrs.Mugsie:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    WOW.  Indifferent 

    That must be why I'm not pregnant again yet.....I just need a vacation!

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  • To the OP: good question, I wish they could find the answer

    to the great advice about "trying too hard"..1. you better pray this post doesn't get out to all the other infertility and TTC and loss boards because 2. you shouldn't talk about things you don't understand and obviously have no clue about

  • imagemonimonimoni:
    imageShayna0182:
    imageLCB34:

    imageShayna0182:
    I believe one factor could be trying too hard, to the point where the body releases a stress hormone.  I knew someone who tried the shots, pill, iui, and once she and her hubby came to terms with the fact that it just might not happen for them, they got pregnant.  It is tough, we tried for 3 months with ds, and actually didn't try with our 2nd, so it's never been hard for us at all.  I couldn't imagine wanting something so badly, and it not working out.   Your body, health, heredity, and just plain ole luck probably have the most to do with it though.

    And someone just had to throw out the "just relax you are trying to hard" comment.

    Well then you explain how people can try everything in the world, and then take a vacation, then it just happens.  Maybe there really is something to relaxing.  

    This from a woman who had to "try" for 3 months to have her first child and then not at all for her second? WOW. YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON INFERTILITY.

    Yes 

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  • i wouldnt say that some women dont get pregnant because they are not fertile, rather because their chromosomes dont combine well with their partners or their is an issue with the mans sperm. for a woman its a great insult and sad thing to be considered infertile-which is generally not the problem to begin with(sometimes though).
  • Because the universe hates me.

    Oh, no, wait.  That's "Why are some women who smoke and mistreat their bodies in unbelieveable ways more likely to have dozens of children they serve rootbeer to out of a bottle and they ignore or match up with their other children so they don't have to bother with caretaking for them."  My mistake.

    I think the other poster, who said "Luck" was right. 

    Or, if I were trying to be a stupid lousy fertile person, I'd say "God's will" and "God's blessings!" an "I just relaxed" and "All we did is have sex every other day and whammo!"

  • Hmm... that's stupid!

    My mom was very fertile (got preg with me on the pill) and it took me awhile to get preg.... I don't even know what to say....


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  • I just want to say I'm sorry to  you for those that were not nice in their replies.  I recently posted about how I felt trying to get pregnant with my 2nd. I will first say that I received comments that were heartfelt and they felt my pain, I also received comments that were I felt as just so mean and they came from a different place and maybe shouldn't have commented on my post.  Don't let women like that get you down.  I came here to find women that felt the same as me andI felt that I could vent to women in my situation.  There will always be women that will fight you online or try to bring you down.  Don't let them convince you that you're feelings aren't real. They are and there are women out there that feel the way you do.  We just need to find another website that supports us.  From another women that put her real feelings out there and got blasted. I'm  here if you need me.
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