what do you think/wwyd? re: bridal shower

alibee09

I'm a bridesmaid and one of the other bridesmaid's moms decided she and a friend wanted to throw the bridal shower. They asked me if I wanted to help but I declined, because between work and K, I have precious little time to clean my house, much less plan a bridal shower.

Last week the mom and the bridesmaid both emailed all the bridesmaids separately telling us that they are putting us in charge of entertainment for the shower -- games, etc. There was no "do you mind..." -- it was a directive. This rubs me SO the wrong way, and part of me actually wants to say something to the bridesmaid and her mother, that when you throw a shower that doesn't mean you offload most of the planning onto another group, especially when that other group is dedicated to the bride, not you.

On the other hand, I want the bride to be happy, so I volunteered to play a game but told them I needed an idea of how many guests were invited or may RSVP. They won't even give me that information, for some reason... so I think at this point I am going to bow out of planning something, but I don't know what to say, or if I should even say anything about how poorly this is being handled.

What would you say/do? Do you think they are being unreasonable?

Lexi & Orion's Mommy

I do think that they are being unreasonable in not helping by providing a guest list. thats kinda silly. Are you and the other bridesmaids expected to plan a game together or each one needs to provide a game?

besides the planning drama,  i would pick a very simple game, like the cross your legs, or cant say wedding game. Then all you would need to do i get a bunch of safty pins, pass them out, and let the ladies tear each other up!

Or place a star under a chair before anyone gets there, Instant Winner!

futrkingsley

That would make me insane and I'd have a hard time not being bitchy.  If you want something from me, ask nicely. 

Anyway, if you wanted to be kind and generous, you could plan a game that doesn't involved the guests.  My favorite shower game was the one my MOH planned.  She asked DH a ton of questions about "us" and I had to guess his answers.  If I got it wrong, I had to chew a piece of gum.  By the end I could barely speak my mouth was so full.  It's funny, entertaining, and works no matter how many people are watching.

alibee09

The gum thing sounds hilarious! The game I said I would do was "gift bingo" (which I did for a baby shower ), where I just make a bunch of cards and hand them out for people to play bingo with while the bride opens her gifts. (The spaces say things like "napkin", "formal china", etc.)

 

The problem is that I need to make the cards by hand (or at least generate enough unique ones) so I need to know how many to make. When I told the mom she was like, "it doesn't matter how many people are coming, bingo is good for a large group." ... Uh, that's not the issue, thanks for playing.

 

Last time one of us got married (we're a trio of friends from elementary school) the person who threw the bridal shower, a friend of the mom throwing this one, was PSYCHO -- she literally stole the shower from me and the other bridesmaid throwing it and had a crazy, crazy tantrum about the whole thing. I was in my 20s so watching a woman in her 60s not only steal my shower (I can't even explain how she went about this, it was so boggling) but throw a fit about it was... scarring.

amyfelice

If I were you, I would say that I don't have time to make 100 cards and if they can't give you an accurate count by whatever date you deem appropriate, then you won't be able to plan that game. If they want you to plan another game than do the one that PP said, that sounds hilarious. 

At this point in my life, my motto is "no more drama" and even my husband says it for me. If you don't have time, you don't have time. There is no need to feel bad about it. You have a lot on your plate and I'm sure your friend that is getting married would NOT want you to be stressed out for her sake.  

AvaLikeLava

amyfelice:

If I were you, I would say that I don't have time to make 100 cards.

Heh, how about you put together the game instructions on a piece of paper as well as the card template and email it back to the mom, saying "here's the game I planned. Make sure there are enough copies printed out for the shower and bring them the day of.". This way you're full-filling your obligation of figuring out entertainment, but you're doing payback: telling her to do something (and not asking). If she doesn't print them out, then it's her fault.

SweetieP

Do the simplest game ever:  Set a timer when she starts opening presents. When it goes off, the person who's gift she's opening gets a price.  Buy a starbucks gift card and you're done.  You could play it several times if there's a lot of people.   Super easy and no planning involved.

 

alibee09

SweetieP:

Do the simplest game ever:  Set a timer when she starts opening presents. When it goes off, the person who's gift she's opening gets a price.  Buy a starbucks gift card and you're done.  You could play it several times if there's a lot of people.   Super easy and no planning involved.

 

THAT IS BRILLIANT. If you were near me right now I'd hug you! Brilliant!

alibee09

AvaLikeLava:

amyfelice:

If I were you, I would say that I don't have time to make 100 cards.

Heh, how about you put together the game instructions on a piece of paper as well as the card template and email it back to the mom, saying "here's the game I planned. Make sure there are enough copies printed out for the shower and bring them the day of.". This way you're full-filling your obligation of figuring out entertainment, but you're doing payback: telling her to do something (and not asking). If she doesn't print them out, then it's her fault.

You know me well enough to know that it's taken every single little bitty ounce of my self control not to call them out on this ridiculousness already. I keep reminding myself that this isn't about me, it's about E, she'll only get married once (I hope!) and I really want to support her. That's the only reason I haven't swatted S and her mom into the sun.

SweetieP

alibee09:

SweetieP:

Do the simplest game ever:  Set a timer when she starts opening presents. When it goes off, the person who's gift she's opening gets a price.  Buy a starbucks gift card and you're done.  You could play it several times if there's a lot of people.   Super easy and no planning involved.

 

THAT IS BRILLIANT. If you were near me right now I'd hug you! Brilliant!

By far my favorite shower game...and the non-game-loving guests love it too.    If you wanted a more traditional game, just do the bridal shower bingo game and just provide the blank template and the guests write in what they think she'll get before she starts opening the prezzies.   It's hard to decide on the games when you don''t know what everyone else is doing.

amyfelice

Love the timer idea. Also could do something more meaningful if you wanted to. You could ask all the women there to go around and say something to the bride to be either advice or hopes for them. Or you could make a scrapbook table and everyone at some point could sit down and make a card to decorate on a page. That way you just get the supplies and make up the table and it's up to everyone to write out their card and decorate their page. I did this for  a friend's shower and it was  super fun activity.