Becoming a SAHM, need some reassurance

tarapaige1

I've always wanted to be a SAHM and said it was my dream job. However, we knew we couldn't afford for me to not work so it was never an option. But now that our DS was born premature, DH and I are too concerned about childcare and him being healthy that we have made some huge financial decisions in order for me to leave my job and stay home. We've cancelled our cable and gym memberships, and we're filing bankruptcy because we have a lot of credit card debt that has begun to be too much for us. We're also going down to one vehicle. I just feel super guilty about leaving my job and filing bankruptcy (and about DH giving up the vehicle he loves). Even though I know it's best for DS that I'm able to stay home and take care of him and DH is totally supportive. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that we're doing the right thing.

borc0080

I work part time and my sister is able to watch DD while I'm at work.  If this hadn't been possible, I think I would've gone the SAHM route, and my LO was about half as early as yours!  I admire the financial changes you're making to ensure your LO stays as healthy as possible.  Good luck with your new adventure!

boolos2B05

Your LO's health is the most important thing. DH and I are basically in the same boat you guys are, even down to the bankruptcy thing. (All though different situation got us to that point). But I have 5wks left at my job and I will SAH. When DD came early we cancelled our daycare, found family to watch her and I only went back to work PT. But things change and we are giving up the last little extras we have and tighten the belt even more. But it means DD does not have to go to daycare.
I am sure you guys will be great. It will be hard but worth it.

Good luck!!!

msalinardi@live.com

Wow! Good for you. I know it's a hard decision to make but in the long run I defiently think it will be worth it!

mhop

You have to do what is right for your family and your baby's health...if we hadn't had my mom to take care of C her first year, we might have been in similar circumstances...

here4u

Your LO will always come first!  Congrats on staying home, and once you figure out your at home budget it will all fall into place.  We cut back alot of misc. spending, and I cook just about every night.  You'll figure it out, and ALL of it will be worth it! 

KellyMichelle

Good luck!  I'm sure the finances will all work out and you will being a SAHM.  I am so glad that I have been able to stay home with my son.  We certainly have some rough days, but I love spending my days teaching him and watching him grow.

Heather1979

I love being a SAHM.

That said, and I don't mean this to be nosy, but I would try to call and bargain with the cc companies, see what could be done. Often they are willing to take some sort of payment or payment system to settle the debt for pennies on the dollar. They'd rather get some of their money than none of it. HTH.

Afton3

The years fly by so fast when your kids are tiny.  I truly can't believe my preemie is three already.  Having preemies puts the question in of how many children you may be able to have.  Are you willing to try for more? (rhetorical) In my case, I had always wanted lots of children but now I will be lucky to have one more.  If you can only have one or two, and they grow up so fast, I don't think there will be anything you are more grateful for 10-20 years down the road than making the sacrifices necessary to stay home with your adorable children and spend every waking moment playing, teaching, caring for, and loving them while you can.  You probably won't even remember the tight financial situation .  I think you're making a wonderful decision.

TriciaJoy

I stayed home for a year with Robbie because we just didn't have a lot of choices.. he was having major feeding issues, was in the hospital 3 times in his first year (that's after he was discharged from the NICU) and it was just chaos. Our finances REALLY, REALLY, REALLY took a beating and it's been really hard trying to crawl out of it, but I don't regret it for a minute.

 

SBMBride406

I think you should follow your gut on this. If it ends up not working out, you can always go back to work. Good luck!

JaysonandKristin

Same situation... exactly.  The cc debt would have been fine if my son was born healthy.  Bottom line, this is the hand we've been dealt, and how we play it is up to us.  My DH and I are filing bankruptcy and I am becoming a SAHM, too.  Luckily, we own our home and will be able to keep it.  And, DH's job needs him so badly they gave him $10K more per year on top of adjusting his pay to absorb the cost of me and our DS keeping COBRA coverage.  I am losing a vehicle, the boat we love and a lot of financial freedom.  I've come to terms with this.  We are comfortable in our decision, and have made an agreement to never look back.  Our son is "fixed."  He is healed, and now we get to spend a lifetime making memories with him.  The things I remember when I'm 80 won't have a thing to do with the insignificant Toyota Corolla or the pontoon boat we had to lose.

I agree with pp, you're doing the right thing.  GL and may you find yourself never regretting your decision. 

lemen99

Good for you for doing what's best for your family!  GL!

janjag

well, i guess no one is going to feel good about bancruptcy, but the rest... you should be SO PROUD of yourself!  you can't possibly feel "guilt" about a car that dh loves, and a job that they can find a replacement for.  you are probably just a little scared.... normal. 

i don't even know you, and think you are such an inspiration.  you are going to feel great knowing you are doing your best to take care of your lo. 

i work pt, wanted to SAH all the time, but feel ok about the compromise... work 3 afternoons a week, and their nanny comes to the house during that time.  i leave a little before noon, and dh is home before 4pm. 

good luck!