OK, I need help.

AnnapolisLari

Every. Damned. Meal. is a battle with DS and I can't take it any more.

He refuses to eat, wanting treats all the time. I don't give in, and then pay the price when his blood sugar crashes and he's a complete wreck. It's 3pm and he hasn't eaten lunch yet. I have ravioli and veggies here, ready and waiting.

"I want chippies." No. "Waaaaaahhhhhhh" Sorry.

"May I have some juice?" No. "Screaaaaammmmmm". Sorry, lunch first.

"May I have one of dose cookies?" (We baked together earlier) No, lunch first. "Screaammmmmmmm." Sorry.

Every single meal is like this, and I am so sick of it. I would just brush it off, but the kid is 41 inches tall and only weighs about 34.5 lbs soaking wet. You can see his ribs and his pants are constantly falling down.

How do you get your stubborn little poop to eat?

Andrewsgal

To answer your question I don't

DD is the same size as your DS and I will not make meal times a battle. I refuse to. If she eats great if not oh well. As skinny as they are they are not going to starve.

Yodajo

How about giving him choices?  Like, "Would you like to have peanut butter and jelly or ravioli for lunch?"  and "Would you like your lunch on this orange plate or the blue one?", etc.  Giving lots of choices helps us a lot.  I think at this age its gets really frustrating to not have any say in things.

Also, if you would normally give him a cookie if he ate his lunch, try saying, "Of course you can have a cookie!  Let's just eat our lunch first!  Do you want to pick out your cookie right now so its waiting for you when you're done with lunch?"

That's all I've got.  We still struggle with  dinner sometimes, but when I put in some effort towards letting him make his own choices, things go a lot better!

omurray

Are the raviolis and veggies something he typically likes?

This will not be the popular nest response, but I feed my son the foods he likes for the most part.  I don't subscribe to the "you'll eat whatever I fix" philosophy.  I'm a picky eater myself and I can totally understand not wanting to eat foods you don't like.  DS is required to at least try new foods, but he isn't required to make a meal of them.  I've actually found that he is much more likely to try new things, and admit to liking them, when he knows he's only required to try - it eliminates the power struggle.  I've also witnessed too many real life instances of the "eat what I fix" scenario in which the kid barely eats.  I'd rather my son be fully fed and able to manage the day without hunger meltdowns, than to have him eat what I choose all the time.  I offer him the healthy options that I know he likes at least 2 meals a day, with other items available to him as well.  Like I said, I know this isn't the popular nest response, but it works well for us.  Also, I know you never said the stuff you served wasn't something he likes, so this may not even apply to you. 

ppants

Don't give in or only offer choices you're ok with.  DD is 4 and weighs 32 lbs.  DS (also 4)  weighs 38 lbs.  They are thin and I figure as long as I'm offering food during regular meal times and snacks they'll eat when they are hungry. 

KoriBrett

a whole lotta what Yodajo said.  And on particularly fun days, we throw in a few of the "you don't eat lunch you don't get a story later AND no cookie"

AnnapolisLari

He picked the ravioli. I offered that or PBJ, which he also likes. He gets plenty of choices.

It's just that he's a freaking wreck half the time because he's hungry... the blood sugar thing. If I sit on him and stuff in some food, he feels so much better, and even says so.

<sigh>

DD, I am not worried about. She never met a meal that she didn't like.

DandelionMom

Feed him before he gets hungry.  Sometimes it helps to let them have a little bit of what they want on their plate along with the healthy lunch (dried cranberries usually work here). 

omurray

That is definitely frustrating.  I'm sorry its a rough day.  DS's toughest meal is breakfast.  He's usually not hungry first thing in the morning, but then he'll get busy playing and not want to take a break to eat, so for awhile we were having the mid morning meltdowns too due to not having had a decent breakfast. 

I have had some luck with talking to him after the fact (meaning after he's eaten and feels better), saying things like "doesn't that feel better to have some food in your belly?"  and "remember this morning when you were feeling all cranky and crazy?  I think you were feeling that way because you didn't eat your breakfast so there was no food in your belly.  Lets remember that next time and eat our breakfast."  I also remind him in the morning if he's pushing the envelope and say something like "remember if we don't eat our breakfast, sometimes we feel crazy and cranky later."  He really does seem to have caught on.  Often times he'll ask me now if he's eaten enough so that he will feel good.  Good luck!

Zenya

Hi - here is what works for us.

I do serve meals (with his input) and he can take or leave it.  But I do NOT leave that meal on the table and he has to eat it before he can eat the next thing, etc.  That's a game.  And it's kind of mean (as you can tell) b/c he's hungry and irrational now.  Well. I did it one time and it felt so mean to me. (I guess not everyone would think it's mean)

 So - I make the meal and it's there for a little while.  Then it's gone.  And I'll offer something else 90-120 means later (I don't time it to the minute or anything.  Just when I'm hungry myself or he's showing signs of being hungry.

that next meal might be fruit or it might be a cookie if we made them (in your scenario).  Each meal is a new chance to reset.  No use ruining a whole day over cold ravioli.  (or barley, in my case the day I did it).

No dinner - no problem.  A good snack before bed (nuts and pepper slices for example).  

I just REFUSE to losemyshit over food another day.  So far, so good.

ErinNConnorsMom

I say yes, you may have a treat...after you eat your meal.  Sometimes my kids just want to feel like they're in control.  For some odd reason, if I rephrase the "no, not right now" to be "yes, after you eat your lunch", they're not as likely to throw a hissy fit.  Good luck!

esposa38

JD goes through cycles like that; when he's in "disagreeable meal" mode, I let him eat healthy snacks throughout the day and don't push the meals.  Like, dry cereal (Mighty Bites) and a cup of milk for breakfast, a piece of fruit and a yogurt smoothie later in the morning, a Clif Z-bar and some fruit after (instead of)  lunch, some trail mix later in the afternoon, and fruit and raisins after dinner. I do give him "regular" meals, too, but if he doesn't eat them, I don't push.  He re-sets in a day or two and goes back to eating meals and having "real treats" (cookies, etc) afterwards.  I actually think he eats healthier on the grazing days, bc/ even though he's "snacking" all day long, they are all heathy things and there isn't any candy or cookies or crap. GL

wellfleet04

If you're going to give him the cookie anyway, I'd just let him have it first.  We do that.  If dessert is "allowed" she can have her portion of dessert at whatever point in the meal she wants. She often eats a bite of chocolate, and then a good dinner.  Sometimes just the chocolate, but then I don't get into battles about the cookie.

 

joy143dh

I'm not sure if this will help, but we do an 'eat your age' - DS has to eat 3 of each thing before being excused from the dinner table.  He has to TRY one bite of everything before whining.  Excessive whining = timeout.   Any time we've had to follow through with time out, he has come back and eaten his dinner.   He gets dessert if he finishes dinner.  I only put 3-5 of each thing on his plate, so it's not overwhelming.  My kitchen closes at 7pm. 

I would say we struggle 3 out of 7 nights.  It seems that when DH is home, DS tests him.   I also know what nights will be difficult and easy based on what I'm cooking, so I try to do a favorite side to balance a not-so-favorite main dish. 

GL!

suzymarie

I guess I am lucky.  DS doesn't beg/scream for treats.

Neither does he eat healthy food.  He is so skinny.

Our "rule" is that he needs to try 1 bite of whatever meal, and then he can have an alternative (still fairly healthy) choice.  Like at lunch today he had to eat a bite of his beans, and then he could have as much pizza as he wanted.

I don't have it in me to battle him.  I offer healthy choices, and I figure eventually he will eat if he is hungry.  (And yes I consider homemade cheese pizza a perfectly healthy choice for a 2 year old).