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2nd Trimester
Do you think this could just be my hormones? -long-
I got out of a 4 years relationship at the beginning of 09', and when I left, I also left my 9yr old step-daughter, who I have known since she was 5. Now, my ex had joint custody of her, so we got her every other weekend, and all summer. Her and I were very close, and she was part of the reason I stayed with him for as long as I did, not only had I fallen in love with him, but of course her too.
Lately, I can't get her off of my mind. I wish I could talk to her, tell her that I love her. Just so she knows I didn't just bail on her. When I left her dad, I did it while he was at work and she was at daycare. He was a very controlling man, and had gotten physical with me the night before I left, and I didn't want her there when I did leave.
I know I have no rights to her, but why do I feel like I owe her an apology? It hurts to think that she wonders why I left, and who knows what her dad said to her. Like I said, we were very very close. I taught her to cook things, we swam almost everyday together, she grew her hair out because I had mine grown out, we shopped, laughed, and learned from eachother. I just miss her so much, and hate that I don't even know how she is doing??
She had a complicated life.when I left, she is the 2nd of 5 kids. And has not always been her mom's main focus, so she loved that she was my main focus and she had a woman that spent time with just her...
Am I just feeling all of this due to hormones? What should I do? It's so hard to just get over it..
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Re: Do you think this could just be my hormones? -long-
Sounds like it could be partly due to hormones/your maternal instincts kicking in... but it also sounds like you really cared about her and you miss her, and there's nothing weird about that.
If her dad got physical w/you I probably would stay away... but is there another way you could reach her, like an Email or mail her a letter or a card with a note in it for an upcoming occassion (her bday, St. Patty's Day, Easter, etc.) just to let her know you haven't forgotten her?
I wish. I have no idea how to get in contact with her mother anymore, and I had to stop communication with her father. I feel like I am over stepping my boundry if I don't get her parents permission to talk to her.
I did text her dad on her birthday and told him I was thinking of her, and would appreciate it if he would tell her I love her, with no response...
Ohh man. Sorry you don't know how to contact her mom. You may try and see if her mom is listed in the phone book, google her mom. Do you think that your ex's parents may have her mom's email or phone?
Have you tried to talk to your ex? Is he civil at all to talk to about her?
He won't let me talk to her. And I don't want her to get into trouble for speaking to me or cause MORE problems between her mother and my ex. He even told me when I left she was happier without me there, and was perfectly fine with the situation.
I found out later through his niece and cousin this was not true at all. But, he is very upset with me. And I don't think her mother would let me talk to her without my ex's permission... Which he won't give... I know I have to live with it until she gets older...
I think it also makes me sad because she always told me she wanted me to have a baby boy (she has 4 sisters) and now I'm pregnant with a boy...