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Working Moms
Family Business, no paid leave
So I kind of need some ideas. I do not get paid leave of any sort because of the small family owned business I work for, and it has never been an issue until now. I can't afford to take two weeks off, but I know I need time to recover. The great thing about the family business is once I do come back I can bring my baby & a play yard in with me to work. I love that, but I just need some ideas on how to get by without paid leave. Things are kind of tight right now with money or I would just stash cash for when I take my leave. This is my first kid so I am at a loss on how much time is NEEDED verses how much time is taken. Any input would be great THANKS!
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Re: Family Business, no paid leave
Yikes. this is something you should have thought about 36 weeks ago, or even sooner! I don't know how to tell you to save up enough $$ w/ only a month to go.
I'm going to be honest- I think 2 weeks is HORRIBLY early to go back to work after having a baby. You have to do what you have to do - but I could barely see straight or function normally at 2 weeks. I was just exhausted.
There is a reason why the suggested minimum time off is 6 week for a VAB or 8 weeks for a c-section.
I really wish I had some advice. All I can say is cut back in every way you absolutely can for the next month.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Oh honey, how did you get to 35 weeks without thinking about this?
Does your husband get any type of leave? If he could stay home and do a lot of the baby care, then I would think you could go back at 2 weeks. It's honestly easier if you FF, and other people can feed your child if you need to work or sleep, but it does cost about $100/month.
Do you qualify for any gov't assistance? WIC? Food stamps? That might help.
Can family members help?
Are you eligible for government assistance? Do you have everything you need for the baby in terms of supplies, carseat, etc?
Where is your husband and what does he have to say about you only taking two weeks off? And what is he doing to make extra money?
Another thing to factor in - while they say you can bring your baby in... for how long? The first few weeks, babies sleep a lot. But then there comes a point where you have to actually pay attention to them and entertain them, etc.
Just putting the kid in a play yard isn't goign to work!
What happens if they say you can no longer bring your baby to work?
I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but did you not think about any of this before getting PG?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Oh, man. I hate to say this, but I know I don't know you, and I am worried for you. I don't think two weeks is realistic at all. The very least I would consider is 6 weeks. I was still in a fog for the first 6 weeks, and I don't think that's uncommon. At two weeks post partum, almost everyone is still a hormonal mess. And, like a pp said, a play yard may work when your child is very, very young, but it won't work very long. A baby takes your full time attention, and I don't see how you can work and watch a baby in the office.
If you don't have extra money to save, do you have things you can sell? A garage sale can raise a couple hundred dollars. Do you have two cars? Is it realistic for you to sell one and be a one car family? Do you have family nearby who can help you? Is your DH working, too?
I do not qualify, I looked into it a bit. We have been blessed in getting everything we need for the baby with ease. We know some people who had things like strollers and item their kids grew out of so we ended up with everything we need. We have been slowly purchasing other items during the pregnancy that we knew we would need. We also got a gift card from his mom for babies r us so anything we dont have we can get after the baby is here.
What kind of job do you have? My sister worked at a desk job and came back when she got out of the hospital to my dad's business and worked and took the kids with her. I am not suggesting that you do this at all.
I only took four weeks with my second one because I worked in a factory and if I was not back by a certain day they were going to put me on vaction/sick leave until all my time was used then back on maternity leave. My DD was born in March and I would have been screwed for the whole year. If you missed four unpaid days you were fired no questions. I probably could not have done this with my first child thought because I passed huge blood clots for weeks afterward,
At 2 weeks postpartum, I was a walking, crying zombie.
I think that the next few months are going to be really, really, really hard on you.
Just because you've "scene" people worse off than you have a kid doesn't mean that things are going to work out well for you.
wait, wait. Did I see in the post above this one that you took a cruise 3 months ago? I am so confused as to why you would use your time off and money then and not save it for now.
My thought exactly. I was feeling bad for you. I have never been on a cruise and we have money in the bank. It sounds like you have your wants and needs mixed-up.
I'm sorry, that's very hard.
As far as it goes, how much time and how long it takes you to recover varies with the person, and whether you'll be able to do your job in a couple of weeks will also depend on the job.
For what it's worth, I was a TA when DD was born, and had to return to some of those duties a couple weeks after she was born. It was very, very light (grading papers at home, proctoring some exams in the classroom), and was OK. I had to be driven to the first exam I proctored because my doctor hadn't cleared me to drive yet. After a few weeks I also started going back into the lab, with DD, which was also very, very tough.
It's going to be extremely tough on you to get back to work that quickly, and I'd certainly talk to your doctor about it and possible risks to your health like postpartum hemorrhage if you overdo it and what the limitations might be. It's also going to be very, very difficult to take care of that young a baby, at the office, while also trying not to push yourself too hard. More than anything else, I can't have imagined at that point bringing LO in to work...it was hard enough at 6 weeks taking care of her somewhere outside our home.
Bottom line, if your job is extremely easy/physically non-stressful, you MAY be able to be back at 2 weeks, with the baby, although it will be very, very hard on you. Or, you may quite possibly physically be unable to (my mom had a postpartum hemorrhage when my brother was born and was on bedrest followed by restricted activity for weeks). Good luck.
I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but you are in for a very rude awakening in a few weeks. You do realize that at 35 weeks...you could conceivably go into labor at any minute, right? Babies are born at 36 weeks all the time.
I had an emergency c/s and took off 10 weeks after the birth. At 2 weeks pp, I was a bleeding, crying, zombie. At 4 weeks pp, I broke down in Home Depot because I couldn't remember the name of a plant that I wanted to buy. I couldn't think straight, wasn't rational, etc.
At 6 weeks I physically would have been fine to go to work, but not mentally.
At 8 weeks I would have been mentally ok to return to work.
I suggest your DH get a night job, or you ask to borrow some money from your parents, or you sell something on craigslist. This is very poor planning.
Ok, I don't feel sorry for you anymore. You suck.
Some do - mine did not. She didn't nap AT ALL until she was about 8 months old. I mean literally 10 minutes a day and that was it. The rest of the time she was screaming her head off unless she was being held and walked around the house.
Planning on your baby being a low-maintenance one is a bad, bad idea.
I honestly don't see any possible way you can go back to work at 2 weeks post partum and bring a newborn with you.
If you're making enough to not quality for government assistance, there has to be SOME way for you to cut back and save enough money to get by for a month or so after giving birth.
Have you ever thought about what you would do if God forbid you baby had medical issues and needed to be in the hospital for weeks? Or YOU needed to be in the hospital for weeks??
Holy crap on a stick. Suck is right.
MUD?
What did they do with their newborns???
You splurged for a balcony room? Too bad you couldn't splurge to make sure you had plans for when this kid arrives. You are SO not prepared for what this is going to do to your life. Good luck with that!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Yeah...this is ridiculous. You thought going on a cruise was more important than planning for your child and health? Please tell me that this is a joke and that no one is this dense.
THANK YOU! I was waiting for someone to say this!!! Degrees don't necessarily mean sh!t in this economy.
Ditto this.
Am I the only one lmao at this?-
Look at it like this, if I can get on a website like this while I'm at work then I can watch her.
Sure, because goofing around on the internet and taking care of a baby totally require the same level of focus.
I was pretty amused by that as well. But then again, a 19 year old WOULD think it's the exact same.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Think McFly, think! How are you going to go back to work after 2 weeks if you end having to have a cs and can't drive? If you or baby have complications which require hospital time? If the perfect Baja cruise goes on sale?
I too work for a small "family" company, but will never have this problem. You know why? Because my husband and I didn't TTC before we were ready to handle me being out of work for 3 months. Because we didn't TTC until we knew we had enough money in our budget to pay for daycare. Because we didn't splurge on a balcony room cruise months before our child is due when we couldn't afford to take 2 weeks off of work. It's called planning ahead and being grownup. Even if your baby was unplanned, you didn't just learn about your pregnancy last night. You've had plenty of time to prepare for this. It's time for a new (or second) job and a new set of priorities.
Mom, why are you washing my feed in the sink?!
The more I read, the sadder I get. I know what happened....
"we're 18, we're "adults". We're in Luuuvvvvv.... what do adults in luuuvvv do? Have BABIES!!!!!. Babies make everything better!".
Your defense of "I used to make more money" means crap because you obviously didn't SAVE any of it.
When I got PG, DH has just been let go from his 6 figure job as an attorney. He was working PT as a tutor, making MUCH MUCH MUCH less money. He made maybe 10% of what he made as an attorney.
I was still able to take 12 weeks. Partially paid, but at least 4 weeks was unpaid. Why? Because we had a substantial SAVINGS ACCOUNT set up. We could have saved more than we did - but regardless, we still had a good nest egg built up that allowed me to take the time off.
And this came from planning. Years of planning. And not taking extravagent trips we really couldn't afford.
Good luck to you. I think you're going to need it . You have no clue what bringing another life into this world really means.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Do not lump all nineteen year olds in with this dimwit. I had my child at nineteen, and I was as prepared as you can be for a baby. We had money saved for my unpaid maternity leave. My husband had/has a steady income. Of course our baby was not planned, but we made the best out of our situation, and that did not include me going back to work at two weeks post partum.
This is obviously an awful situation, and the original poster needs to get her head out of her as$ and figure out what she is going to do.
After my first, I went back to work at 6 weeks.
After my second I went back to work at 1 week.
Here are the details.
My husband and I own the business. Therefore I am not eligible for benefits either. My workdays were completely flexible meaning I could work anywhere from 1 - 6 hours any given day. I literally arrived when I could and left when I felt like it. I had a private office where I could nurse and the baby could sleep. I could decide to come in or not come in as I saw fit. At 4ish months old, each baby was introduced to daycare.
I had 2 easy, non complicated vaginal deliveries. I had 2 healthy, good eating and good sleeping babies. I had a ton of support from my mother and my inlaws.
If you must do it, you need to prepare, seriously prepare now.
I'm not saying this girl doesn't deserve what you all are saying, but she is only 19 and we all didn't make the best choices at that age. She wasn't TTC and these things happen. She made some bad decisions but she will soon learn the sacrifice that being a mom requires. So....for the sake of her baby, let's hope she grows up quickly. It's sort of too late to plan for unpaid maternity leave at this point, just bank what you can and realize that it's okay to ask for help if you need it. I couldn't have gone back to work 2 weeks PP, I was way too depressed even if I had been physically capable. OP, you need help. Talk to your parents about financial assistance while you're off, sell what you can, and do whatever you need to cut your bills down. Ditch cable, etc. Even if you don't qualify for gov't assistance, see if you can nonperishable food items from local food banks.
It can be done. I left class and was induced and back in that same class the next week. I was going to school full time until she was 9 months old and I graduated and I went back to work at 6 weeks. I didn't have a support system other than DH no babysitter nothing, no daycare. We took shifts sleeping, I went to school and work at night, he was in school too and working a full time job and in the Army NG OCS so he was away a whole weekend two weekends after she was born. Plus we were picking up his boys everyother weekend. Plus she had awful reflux and was up all night.
If I got through it you will too. I think it is so rude to any of you telling her to give her child up for adoption.
You just need to have a plan and a ton of stuff. I bought every single thing I could ahead of time so I didn't have to worry about that. Get a sterilizer for work and a sling or carrier, extra bottles. If I can do what I did you can do what you have to do.
I think when you're young you bounce back faster too. Hopefully you don't have a c-section and you have a smooth vaginal birth.
It had been paid in full almost a year in advance. BEFORE I got pregnant and before hours got cut. Plus it was with tax returns so it was never out of pocket.
So i asked for some advise, not a bunch of brown nosed BITCHES to judge. The cruise was already paid for and if you know a damn thing you CANNOT back out of them or get your $$ back. A little to late for that. Also maybe you need to learn how to read. When I got pregnant I had plently of hours at work and this was not an issue but in a 9 month period I went from getting over 40 hours in to maybe 32. The job I am in is NOT at all by means stressful at all and my refrence to being on the net I just ment I have time to F**K around on a stupid site instead of having a bunch to do. I know a baby is a lot of work and my kid will be well taken care of. I am not starving like other pregnant mothers out there are. WAKE UP a reality is here, and not all women have the picture perfect lives. My husband will have a MEDICAL degree in less than a year. This baby will never starve and has all the nessessities a child could EVER need. The only thing I ever asked was ideas on how to get a longer leave on little income. I am not gettting shut off notices and there is food in my HOUSE. I never said that a child was going to starve and not have somewhere to sleep. I cant even qualify for welfare. So if you think I dont know how to take care of a kid you have another thing coming. Maybe you should run your stupid speech to someone on welfare, jobless, homeless and pregnant. I SEE IT DAILY! NASTY REALITY CHECK. Get off your high horse. I feel bad for your children to have such judging mothers, they will never see the world for what it is, only what you show them.
I get to go to work everyday after I have my child to a FAMILY business where two family's run it, mine and another. The guy that is in the other famly brings his YOUNGEST which isnt even 2 to work all the time while his wife is at work. EVERYONE in the office knows my situation well in advanced because I AM 35 weeks and they are all excited for me and my child. Some people have day care provided by their work. My whole office is my day care service, and I KNOW them (& their familes) and trust them.
& to those of you that wern't judgemently thank you. I appriciate the input.