XP from IF: New Here & Could Use Support

curlygurl

As you can see from my siggie, I've been dealing with infertility and underwent treatment to become pregnant.

Last Friday  I went into my first u/s only to discover 4 sacs.  This was very unexpected as I had two mature follicles at trigger, and followed the doctor's instructions exactly (i.e. no extra "nookie" just to try to "up our odds").  However, at that time (5w, 6d) all that could be seen was one "normal" looking yolk sac, one "abnormal" looking yolk sac, and two empty sacs.  Needless to say, it was quite a surprise and I was extremely overwhelmed with many mixed emotions. The nurse didn't seem to think that all four would develop, but said it was too early to call.  A follow-up u/s was scheduled for today (2/17/10) which puts me at 6w, 4d.  I had two betas and P4 tests in between and my numbers continued to rise.

Well, lo and behold at my follow-up u/s today we saw and heard 4 very distinct beating hearts.  Hearbeat one was the sweetest sound I ever heard; hearbeat two was like icing on the cake; by number three, I began to panic; and once we heard four, I was in tears.  Two are measuring right on track, and two are measuring just about a day or two behind. 

Obviously, I'm very grateful to be pregnant, but I never imagined I'd be in this situation and I know that carrying all four to term is just too big of a risk to all of us.  The nurse seems to think that  there is a good chance that things will just "take care of themselves" but of course, we had the (Selective Reduction) SR discussion today.  I hope with all my heart that I don't have to make that decision, but my H and I are preparing ourselves for the possibility.

In the meantime, we had a long scheduled vacation set for tomorrow, and we will go ahead with our plans.  We're leaving for Mexico (Yucatan Peninsula) first thing in the morning and will be gone for 10 days.  I hope that the trip will provide up both with a much needed break from life and will allow up to process all of this and come to a decision that is best for our family.  When we return, we'll go back to the RE for another u/s.  At that time, if all 4 heartbeats remain, we will be referred on to the Peri to discuss where to go from here.  

I don't know if I really belong here yet or not, but I figured that you ladies could probably relate better than most to the wide range of mixed emotions I'm having right now.  I realize that people have very strong opinions about SR and I respect every person's right to their feelings about this matter.  I hope that none of you ever have to face this situation and am sure that as compassionate as you all are, you will not judge me for the difficult choice I may have to make in the coming weeks. I'd like to stay around for a while if nobody objects...

I'll be out of touch over the next 10 days while I'm on vacation, but will check in again when I return.  

lgurian

i wish you the best of luck and a happy and healthy pregnancy no matter happens.

preheatedoven

lgurian:

i wish you the best of luck and a happy and healthy pregnancy no matter happens.

ditto, no judgment here no matter what you decide. 

babydontforget

No judgment from me either. Please do stick around and let us know how the next few weeks turn out.

 

Temp159135562506975

you certainly belong here- you are a mom of multiples already - once you find that kind of thing out you are part of a special club for sure

quads certainly have many risks - i recommend getting Dr. Luke's book on being pg with twins triplets and quads - it might give you some insight on what to expect if you do continue with quads. 

SR is certainly an option and nobody here would fault you if that is the decision you make - it's all a very personal choice - hard as hell to make - but knowing your risks and what you can handle is what will help you make it. Learn all you can as fast as you can.

i hope the trip helps you both clear you  minds and find some peace with whatever decision you make!

SoldiersGreenBean

You most certainly do belong here, no matter what happens or what decision you make.

Have fun on vacation!

Please know, too, that every emotion you're feeling right now is completely normal.  Don't beat yourself up for not being excited.

weemodin

Oh, man, it is so terrible when someone approaches fertility treatment responsibly and is forced with making such a tough decision.  I am so, so sorry.

There is a very good and compassionate SR board at ivf connections.  The website is www.ivfconnections.com -- you'll have to register and go to pregnancy, and then scroll down to selective reduction.

Good luck with your decision, and I hope you have a wonderful outcome whatever you decide.

stillhoping

Have a wonderful vacation and try to relax some. If you get a chance check out Tripletconneection.org there are a lot of quad moms on there that can give you advice. This is your's and your husband's decision, and no one can tell you what they would do unless they have been there. I know that it is a hard time but you will make the right decision for you and your family. Hang in there. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

pea-kay

Congratulations on your pregnancy, but I'm so sorry it's turned out this way. High order multiples are obviously very risky. I wish you the best. There are moms here who have been through it all and can help you with whatever you decide.

I hope you can enjoy your vacation, at least a little bit. {{hugs}}

Northof54

In January 2008 I was in your shoes.  I will admit it was the WORST time of my life.  I do seriously believe that I went into shut down mode.  We booked a SR 4-2 for 12 weeks.  At an u/s at 11 weeks it was found that Baby D no longer had a hb (since 10 weeks).  Please pm me if you want to talk.  Also ivfconnections is a great resource.

Best of luck and many *hugs* as you struggle through these emotions and this journey. 

ancjph

Congrats on your pregnancy first off. What a happy but scary time right now. Wishing you the very best in what ever happens. I hope that you have a great relaxing vacation.

lnle

wow, that is a lot to absorb! no judgment here - we struggled with the SR issue as well. We decided not to reduce, but I had many dark, tear-filled days while we were struggling with the decision. Please feel free to PM me if you have more questions.

Have fun in Mexico!

jdelight

Ditto what INLE said...definitely pm with questions!

 It was a struggle deciding what to do.

kaiteedidit

No judgements here. That would be an impossible decision, good luck with whatever you choose to do. Have fun on your vacation and please keep us updated.

jenkm

Also chiming in with support.  We had that talk going into IVF as well; it's not easy at all, you do what you feels is right.  No judgment.  Personally, I think there are equally morally valid points on both sides, totally up to you guys.  I wish you the best and hope things work out.  XOXOXO

Haven1

Congrats on the being pregnant! Isn't life a kick in the teeth sometimes though? )

When we met with our RE clinic at the beginning of this whole process, SR was one of the many topics discussed about how the land of fertility treatments work. They said it's a very difficult part of the process, but moms with 3+ certainly do have options. And while it's a gut-wrenching decision that only you and your partner can make, you are not alone. It's not uncommon these days.

Enjoy your vacation, and very best wishes with your decision.

Mrs.BKP

SR is such and tough thing and only you can decide what's right for you and your family.  You'll find a lot of support here and there are a couple of people who've faced the same decisions.  Have a wondeful vacation!

britbswoo

First I'd like to say congratulations!  I know this is a very scary time for you and your husband, but regardless of your decision you will get through this!

This board is very supportive and helpful and I hope to hear from you when you get back from your vacation.

blairsgirl

Congratulations on your pregnancy.  I hope you and your husband are able to relax on your vacation and have a wonderful time.

Nerwak

preheatedoven:

lgurian:

i wish you the best of luck and a happy and healthy pregnancy no matter happens.

ditto, no judgment here no matter what you decide. 

And I hope you have a wonderful trip.

smeyer

I already responded of IF but I wanted to chime in here, too.  As you can already see, this is such a wonderful and supportive board - I'm glad you posted over here.    Best of luck with your pregnancy and with any decisions that may lie ahead.  You're definitely in my t & p.

sourpop

Best of luck to you. I am sure you guys will make the right choice. You are in my thoughts.

Sarah&Christoph

 

 Congrats on your pregnancy. Best of luck to you no matter what you and your husband decide. Enjoy your vacation and keep us updated when you get back. This is such a wonderful and supportive board.

nygrl79

Welcome and congratulations on your BPF!  I hope you won't have to make this difficult decision.  But either way, you are welcome here with absolutely no judgments. 

ougrad1

I completely understand your wide range of emotions.  All I can say is that I would very much be in the same frame of mind, though hard.   I hope that you and your H can get to a place where you're both comfortable.  Have a nice vacation and gl making your decisions.  Keep us posted...I'm very sure you've found a safe place to vent.

vkbaby09

First of all, congrats on your long-awaited bfp.  I was in your almost same shoes last year at this time, except I had 5 babies.  When you get back from your trip - that I hope you have a great time at - please feel free to pm me about my experiences.