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Working Moms
Day 4 and the guilt has set in
I just went back to work after 16 weeks on bedrest and 8 weeks at home with the cutest boy you have ever seen. Since I had been out (and we had been down to one income) for 6 months, I thought I was beyond ready to go back.
I was wrong.
I LOVE my job and I do just fine dropping Jaden off at his school every day (We picked a GREAT Christian day school for him) but when I pick him up at night and snuggle him and he is SO tired and restless it just breaks my heart. I look at the paper they send home telling when they fed and changed him and all I can think is that they are raising my child.
Not working is not an option. My income is too good and I really did hate staying home. It was lonely and depressed.
PLEASE tell me this gets better. I spend so little time with Jaden now (picked up at 5:30, falls alseep by 9) and I feel like his feelings are hurt. This is just awful, how can you win?!
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Re: Day 4 and the guilt has set in
Change your attitude. The situation you presented does not seem like one that should result in guilt (you like your job, you were lonely and depressed at home, and you're happy with the child care you've chosen). Your child will be less tired as time goes on. Also, he may just need an earlier bed time, at least for awhile. His feelings are not hurt. He's a baby.
Perhaps the people at daycare are helping to raise your child, but we all need help raising our children (even SAHMs) ... it takes a village, you know.
This is not awful.
You can win by having a positive attitude and enjoying your life.
So, really, you feel guilty that you are not spending a lot of time with your son right now? I think that's understandable to some extent. I see where you're coming from, even though I don't feel guilty about my family's schedule. But, I promise that his feelings are not hurt. Without even knowing you or him, I promise that.
You have three very positive things going for you: You love your job, you love your child care, and you didn't want to stay at home anyway. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty.
It will get better, especially given how you feel overall about your situation. As he gets older, and you can see that he loves his teachers and his friends, and that they love him, you'll feel less guilty. In the meantime, keep repeating the positives: You love your job, you love your child care, and you didn't want to stay at home anyway.
Not to pick apart the situation, but if he doesn't go to bed until 9pm, is he up from 5:30pm to 9pm? If so that might be why he's so tired. My 11 weeker goes to bed at 5:30 and only wakes up to feed until 6 am the next day.
If you hated staying home and you love your job, don't beat yourself up. I used to SAH, hated it, and I'm so glad to be back at work that I went back two weeks early.
It WILL get better. Babies really do not have a sense of time, so they don't count how many hours you're gone (like I'm sure you do). Also, at his age, he's probably sleeping most of the day anyway.
You may feel like they are raising your son, but your son will always, ALWAYS favor you. Babies/kids know who their parents are, and YOU are the one they recognize as their caregiver.
More than how much time you spend with him, your son recognizes the consistency of having you in his life. I know it's a very rough transition, but don't worry. I promise, it gets better.