anyone from NJ?

miss1180

so we are filling out our application for international adoption, and we live in NJ. On the info the agency sent us, it says that the state of NJ requires that one of the references you list is a neighbor within walking distance from your house. Now- we know our neighbors, but we're not close with them. We all work full time and basically keep to ourselves, except for the basic "hi" and small talk. We're not close enough to any of them really where I would feel comfortable asking them to write a letter for something like this. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Do they need to write a letter, or is it just one of those things where the agency calls them and asks them a few questions about us??

redhead1214

I am not from NJ but I am doing IA and see the same NJ requirement with my HS agency, Child and Home Study Associates. I think they need to do a letter, typed and signed. I don't think they call.

I am in the same boat-not close at all with any of our neighbors but thankfully DE does not have that requirement.

What HS agency are you using and what country?

Good luck! 

miss1180

thanks! we are looking at China, with their minor special needs program. The agency is Holt.

  Its just annoying! I mean i completely understand why they would want to hear from somebody who might see our day-to-day life/household... but its so frustrating when you don't really talk to any of your neighbors! I'm waiting to hear back from the agency to get some clarification about it. Good luck to you, too!!

redhead1214

Good luck- I have heard Holt is a great agency!

marlee

We're a Holt family.  No getting around it as far as I can tell.  We lived here less than a year.  They had to write some sort of reference.  I have no idea if it was as in depth as our friends were.  Which, by the way we're EXTREMELY in depth.  

Luckily we had a friendly relationship with them.  We just told them our plans and what Holt asked of us.  I told them that if there were any questions that they felt uncomfortable answering because they didn't know us very well, then to write just that.  So awkward.  Good luck.   

CaptainSerious

We live in NJ and are adopting from Peru. We have not heard of such a requirement. Two of our references were from neighbors, but they each live about a mile away. What constitutes "walking distance?"

miss1180

thanks Marlee! glad to hear from another Holt person! which country did you adopt from? were you happy with the agency?

we've been here for 2 1/2 years, so i cant imagine doing it after only living there a year!

  we have one advantage though... we bought DHs parents house from them, so its the house he grew up in. most of the neighbors are still the same, so DH has known most of them for most of his life. its just that his parents were friends with them... not us. but i guess it'll look good when they say they've known Dhs family for 25 years LOL

  how does it work? does Holt send them a "form" of some kind with questions for them to answer? i'm not worried about the other references- we have a great group of really close friends that i know will write up great, in depth ones- so at least 3 out of 4 of them will be good LOL

  

miss1180

CaptainSerious:

We live in NJ and are adopting from Peru. We have not heard of such a requirement. Two of our references were from neighbors, but they each live about a mile away. What constitutes "walking distance?"

thats the thing! it doesn't say! it just says "within walking distance"... really vague! I'm guessing its probably within a mile or less, though. thats probably why you never heard anything- you kind of met the requirement. oh well, just one more thing we have to check off the list :-)

CaptainSerious

Still, they never asked us if these people were neighbors.  We just listed them as local family friends, I think.  I'm guessing different agencies interpret a requirement for a simple "neighbor" reference differently.

marlee

I never asked the neighbors, but our friends got forms in the mail filled with all sorts of questions.  I honestly can't remember any of them, but I remember being surprised how long and detailed the questions were.  Did you fill out your own big pack autobiography type thing?  I enjoyed doing that.  Really made you think.  I loved comparing with dh.  

We adopted from Korea.  My beautiful little boy is sitting right next to me as I type.  The process from application to home was around 18 months.  I hear it's getting longer.  

Who is your SW?  Ours is Lisa.  Overall I was very happy with Holt.  No problems whatsoever.  

I'm not really a regular here, I lurk a few times a month.  Let me know if you have any questions!  BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.   

Strunella

Coming out of lurkdom.  I live in NJ and do not know our neighbors AT all.  Like I couldn't even tell you their names.  Might be time to start introducing myself!  Good to hear positive things about another agency...we're just beginning our research.