Let's talk about sex baby....long

ai&Jas

Hi ladies,

So I just can not get this image out of my head and wanted to post about it. Don't worry, said image is not about me and DH NOT that there is anything wrong with that!

Ok- so a few nights ago we were returning from grocery shopping and as we backed into our drive way, our head lights lite up this car which was parked in front of our house. It had a young guy in it and lo and behold-- our neighbors 16 year old daughters head suddenly popped up, and her sweet face was staring right at us. Yep--looked like she was um--busy. We were shocked, but out of normal reflex, we just waved at her and she waved back. And then we went our merry way

Anyway- so it got us thinking-- is that going to be OUR sweet baby in 14 years time (lord help me!)?? I for one was a late bloomer and but I know that my sister and our friends were already experimenting in their teens and they did survive and turned out to be good upstanding citizens etc. I guess as a mother I'd like to hope that our kids won't have sex until they are 30 and married...no just kidding-- I'm personally aiming for 18-21 Maybe- I'll tell her that sex is much better when you're emotionally ready for it. Who knows!

I know many of us have kids that are still babies or toddlers but I want to know how you'll handle the sex stuff. Its early days but this has really got me thinking! Its such a personal choice but I want to hear what you plan on doing!

We want to be able to educate our kids in the best way possible and for us, we use the correct anatomical words for her body. I envision us talking to her and explaining her body, using books to explain how babies grow in their mummies uterus etc and just not making a bit deal about it. I also want to teach her to respect her body and also the emotional side of sex as well. At this age she loves to explore her body and I try to explain things to her. She knows that she pee's out of her vagina and that it tickles when she touches it (this was a recent discovery which caused her to giggle like crazy!).

Ok enough about us-- I am just curious and would love to hear how you address/plan to address sex with your kids!

 Thanks for reading my super long post!!

 

DallasHorn

I don't know that I have a plan, but it scares the heck out of me. My DD is already 4 and I just read a story about an 11 year old girl that gave birth! OMG.

The_Jen626

I don't have a "plan" per se...but I will do bascially what my Mom did with me.  Be very open about sex, teach about condoms and birth control, respecting yourself, saving sex for a very special relationship when they really love you, etc.  I was very comfortable talking about sex with my Mom, told her when I lost my virginity, etc.  I hope that my daughter has that same relationship with mt.

I have to ask...are you going to mention it to the neighbor girl, or her parents?  Depending on my relationship with the girl, I would probably talk to her...but I'm wierd like that.

ai&Jas

You know- this is a new neighbor who just moved in about a month ago from interstate so aside from waving when we're outside, we haven't really spoken to them. We were definitely meaning to invite them over for dinner at some point in the future. I would definitely talk to the girl privately iIF I had a relationship with her but for now we might just let it slide....I'm seriously surprised she actually did it in front of our house!!

shouldbworkin

We will probably be having the oral sex can still give you diseases discussion around 11-12 y/o, since apparently kids are doing those sorts of things in middle school now.  I hope that they will know from an early'ish age that sex is something for a man and woman to do when they're in love.  I know my parents told me about this early on (I was a big Judy Blume fan and had a baby sister born when I was in 1st grade, so it came up in elementary school), but I think it owuld have helped if they'd kept talkiing to me about these things.  They knew I had a boyfriend in my sophomore year, but they never took an opportunity to ask me if we were serious, how I felt about him, if I felt pressure, etc.  I hope to be able to be there to help guide my kids a little better.

14years

Oh, man, this is NOT something I want to worry about now.

My mom was always very open with me about sex, but I still ran into trouble here and there.  Bottom line, it's hard to combat peer pressure.  Since I have a son, I'm not sure he'd listen to me at all.  I need to talk to DH about this.

I can't disagree about not saying anything to the girl or her parents -- you don't know them very well, and who knows what they know already anyway.

The_Jen626

ai&Jas:

You know- this is a new neighbor who just moved in about a month ago from interstate so aside from waving when we're outside, we haven't really spoken to them. We were definitely meaning to invite them over for dinner at some point in the future. I would definitely talk to the girl privately iIF I had a relationship with her but for now we might just let it slide....I'm seriously surprised she actually did it in front of our house!!

Yeah if you don't know her and her parents, I definetly wouldn't say anything!  But if you had known her for years, she babysits for you, etc, then I think it would be appropriate to say something.  I think most girls are at least somewhat sexually active around ages 15/16/17, so I think it's fairly normal that she's doing that.

 

sju

We don't have a plan yet but we want to be open and provide age appropriate information. Whatever we do, it will NOT be what my mom and school did.  I did not grow up in a religious household but sex was taboo. I went to a Christian private school and the sex education was limited.  My dad and I do talk about sex from time to time now that we are adults because we are super close but with my mom? Never.   Culture has something to do with it too.  She would often make comments about "those women who like sex".  LOL.  I love my mom, she is great, but that is wrong.  Gosh, I hope I am successful and that my kids feel comfortable talking to us about sex.