f/u: CIO facebook status

mrstice

I posted on here this morning:

"i'm glad i'm not the only one that is bothered by these statuses! i just left it alone last night, but people are still commenting on it this morning and the latest 'suggestion' was to "shut the door, turn up the tv, and it'll be better in the morning!"

so i said "i guess i'm going to be the unpopular one here, but i say go pick up your crying babe!"

he did ask for suggestions - he probably didn't want any opinions going against his decision to CIO, but oh well."

he just updated his status - "after 2 hours of crying, (DW) went and got her. she was asleep 5 minutes later."

ugh.

rommelea

This makes me want to cry. 

How old is the baby?  Not that it matters, IMO, but I hope the baby is at least older than 6 months since that is the definition of "safe to CIO" in most cases

sunnyday016

Crying for 2 hours??? Seriously, I do not understand what that is supposed to accomplish. I think it'd be pretty obvious LONG before that that the baby is not going to soothe themselves. That's horrible. I know that (most) people who do CIO are thinking they are doing what is best for their baby, but 2 hours of crying. That's neglect in my book.

The fact that after 5 minutes of soothing from mom put the baby to sleep speaks volumes to me about a child's need for reassurance and soothing from a parent. 

ChiShanona

I'm glad you said something!  Somebody needs to play devil's advocate and wake up his natural instincts.  You can tell he's obviously bothered by these last 2 hours.  Maybe he just needs someone's reassurance that it's ok to go against the majority vote to CIO.

I remember mentioning to people that DD would get really fussy around 5 pm (the witching hour) when she was newborn.  I had a few people tell me, "That's when I would go get the bottle of wine!"  I don't know if that meant they'd drink it and breastfeed to calm their baby down or what... but I just tried to ignore those types of comments.

Soon2BMrsN

I can't imagine listening to any baby cry for 2 hours. UGH. 

webMistress0609

rommelea:

This makes me want to cry. 

How old is the baby?  Not that it matters, IMO, but I hope the baby is at least older than 6 months since that is the definition of "safe to CIO" in most cases

I think in the pp the op said about 8 months old? Which is when separation anxiety can peak & why controlled crying can backfire at this age. 

2 hours. Ugh. 

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

All I can say is two hours makes me very, very sad.

JulieandBen

Now that makes me sad:(

KatieTheMagnificent

That's terrible.  Absolutely, positively terrible.

eisenberg0814

that could have been my SIL/BIL... they say that we are wussies and weak and thats why we dont do CIO... aehm, okay. I said, I dont tell you what to do and you dont tell me.

MrsErinnElizabeth

What I don't get is that if they posted that they were letting their five-year-old (or 15-year-old, for that matter) cry alone in their room for two hours without any soothing, most people would be appalled.  Yet it's totally cool if it's a baby.

 

mags507

MrsErinnElizabeth:

What I don't get is that if they posted that they were letting their five-year-old (or 15-year-old, for that matter) cry alone in their room for two hours without any soothing, most people would be appalled.  Yet it's totally cool if it's a baby.

 

This!  If I am upset or crying my DH doesn't wait 2 hours to find out why.  If he did I would be heartbroken and feel like he doesn't care about me.  Why can't people follow this line of reasoning and apply it to a baby?

habsoilers

Two hours is a really long time

EmmieB

^ What they said.

Lucky_N_Love

MrsErinnElizabeth:

What I don't get is that if they posted that they were letting their five-year-old (or 15-year-old, for that matter) cry alone in their room for two hours without any soothing, most people would be appalled.  Yet it's totally cool if it's a baby.

 

what a great perspective!

I have read your posts the past  days and I am sad for you and your friend. Are you good enough friends that you would feel comfortable sending him a PM giving him advice in a nice way. Be empathetic "I know how you feel I have been there and what really works for me is..." Good Luck I hope tonight is better for them 

wildride

I am so glad that you did speak up, like the pp said, hopefully hearing another point of view will give him a little backbone to do what he feels is better for the baby.  If he was posting he obviously wasn't totally OK w/ it.

 

And "Shut the door and turn up the TV??!!!"

Ouch. 

cindy453

ChiShanona:

I'm glad you said something!  Somebody needs to play devil's advocate and wake up his natural instincts.  You can tell he's obviously bothered by these last 2 hours.  Maybe he just needs someone's reassurance that it's ok to go against the majority vote to CIO.

I remember mentioning to people that DD would get really fussy around 5 pm (the witching hour) when she was newborn.  I had a few people tell me, "That's when I would go get the bottle of wine!"  I don't know if that meant they'd drink it and breastfeed to calm their baby down or what... but I just tried to ignore those types of comments.

I've made comments before about drinking a glass of wine in the "witching hour". It was not because I wanted to get emmy drunk on breast milk. I don't even understand what drinking a glass of wine has to do with CIO?