how do you feel about this? "Settling"

violetvirgo

Marry Him:  The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

so i've read TWO magazines recently that touched on this book and i really dont' know how i feel about it.  well, that's a lie - my first reaction was "how farking sad that this woman" but i there are apparently

a bunch of people championing her (mostly singles in their mid-30s/40s +). 

so i googled and found this link:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/04/marry-him-5-reasons-youre_n_449696.html

i guess i don't get it.  i can't imagine being married to someone i wasn't head over heels, crazy in love with.  i'm talking fireworks people! 

so thoughts?  maybe i have my blinders on too tight?  how do you feel about this?

Miss.Modular

i can understand her point, i think MANY girls (mostly raised as 'princess' types) have some insane ideal that NO ONE can meet.  

 

 

Lucky_Dragonfly

one of my friends( a guy) got married and the whole time they were engaged he was having second thoughts but married the girl anyway because he didn't want to be alone and could "just deal with her quirks". They just got divorced after 3 yrs and they have a 2yo boy.. Another firend (another guy) has been heard saying that he is marrying his GF because "it's the next step."

IMO if you love a person but you are not In love with them then that is not a good enough reason to marry them.

libby73

I don't get it either.   I have 2 girlfriends (1 recently married) and 1 about to get married and they totally let their husband/boyfriend control them and these women are really smart women who imo could do better, also both of these women complain about how controlling their s/o but stay with them.  Both women are over 30 so I get the feeling that they started freaking out about never getting married or having kids so this is why the decided to settle down with the guys they are currently with.  I can not imagine being with someone that "tells" things I can and can not do.

Monkeybuttwhat

It just sounds like her attempt to reckon with the fact she never got married.

lpennie16

I am in love with my DH. Is he perfect for me in every way? Does he like/dislike everything exactly what I had pictured? Nope.

In the context of the articles, "settled" has a negative connotation.

I feel settled as in at peace w/ my marriage and comfortable with who I am as an individual/wife/mom.

violetvirgo

Miss.Modular:

i can understand her point, i think MANY girls (mostly raised as 'princess' types) have some insane ideal that NO ONE can meet.  

 

 

i wasn't raised as a "princess" type, but i'm certainly a hopeless romantic of sorts.  i love a good love story - especially my own.  now, i haven't read the book, but it *sounds* like she's saying "meh, fireworks are for silly hearts; that guy i let pass up that i had no spark with would have done".  it's a little cynical and sad.  

inbetweendreams

I always said I would rather be single than settle. I think it's important to have standards for what you want in a partner while at the same time being mature enough to recognize that no one is perfect. We're all human, and marriage takes work. That being said, I think you can most definitely find the right partner, be crazy in love with each other and not settle for less than that.

I haven't read the book, but "settling" just has a negative connotation in my mind. The way I think about the word, it has no place in a relationship, but that's JMO.