Shower vent

BamBam510

My 2 aunts say they'll host my shower, no matter how big the guest list, they also suggest co-ed.  The guest list gets to be close to 75 people, which I don't like because then I won't be able to really chat with anyone for long due to so many people being there.

MIL offers to throw a girls only shower for my co-workers and her side of the family which is about 25 people total, so I'm thrilled becuase now I'll have two "smaller" showers; a girls only & a co-ed for my family/family friends etc hosted by my aunts. 

I mention it to one of my aunts at a family gathering in passing that my MIL is doing this and they seemed fine w/it.  My mom emails them last week to start discussing dates...week later..no response.  She writes them again and gets a response basically saying that I told them that my MIL was hosting co-workers etc and that she might as well host everyone since it seems its prob not that many more people (even though its about 50 more) and that they feel like they were stepping on her toes and that MIL prob wanted to host it all along. 

Mom writes them back explaining that this isn't the case at all and that the list was just getting too long etc. she wrote them back yesterday early morning and neither have responded yet.  My MIL's shower is a month from now...and now becuase my aunts assumed incorrectly without even checking with my mom for the facts we might have to try and squeeze in 50 more people to this shower, which my mom is also helping with...and I have yet to tell my MIL about this becuase i'm hoping my aunts come to their senses.  My MIL's house will not fit 70+ people!

I'm so upset right now!  My aunts could have called my mom to get clarification about the situation and this could have all been avoided.  I wonder what would have happened had my mom not emailed them about dates...would they have just ditched it without saying anything!?  And now is it going to be awkward having my aunts there? I wonder if they'll even come.  They are the type who take everything personally and won't talk to you for years.

Vent over

Shell24

They provided your mom with an excuse.  They didn't really think that.

I would NOT bring this up to your MIL.  If I were the other person hosting a shower for you (i.e. your MIL) I'd be pissed if this was thrown on me last minute.  If it was 5-10 people that would be one thing, but 50??? 

If that's the case and you really are going to combine them again, your mom needs to pay for all 50 additional people from your side that would have gone to your aunt's shower, and she needs to find a venue to host it in because they won't fit at your MIL's house. 

What really should happen is that your mom just takes over the duties for your aunts and throws the shower from your side, or you just don't have a shower from your side. 

Sorry they did this to you!

teelaman

I guess I don't see why you can't still have both...You actually have plenty of time (I'm due in May as well, and we aren't having a shower until I'm 34 weeks). Also, I can kind of get your aunt's side of it - I think I'd probably be a little upset to if I'd already explained and got the okay to throw a large shower for you, and then was told afterward that I had to cut my guest list in half because someone else wanted to do it. (But then again, it is your mom - and they kinda should've seen it coming). I think there's still time to smooth everything over - breathe easy! It'll all work out.

Buffy_Baby

And if you DO add people to MIL's shower, how about ladies only. That's 25, not 50.