Attachment Parenting

Realized I have not had a break in months

I sat down today and tried to think of the last time I was alone or went out without the baby since she was born.

I havent!  Not once! She will not take a bottle so I cant be away for more than 2 hours or I come home to a disaster of a baby.  I have left for a few hours to go to a meeting and now we dont even do that.  Days I have to be gone DH works from home and brings the baby so I can feed her.

Now that S will not nap well either we have a baby who wont nap and wont eat from a bottle.

I expected (and dont mind) this 99.99% of the time.  But it would be great to get a massage/go out for a drink with the girls/have a date with hubby every once in a while.

Reassure me that this too will pass and I will become a human with painted toes, date nights and wine again!!

Re: Realized I have not had a break in months

  • It will get easier - I promise.  My son doesn't really like taking a bottle either.  I don't know if you guys have a bedtime, but sometimes I put him down and then go out with girl-friends.  He goes to bed at 7:15 so I can go out at 8 and if I am home by 10:30 there is no way I'll miss his next feeding.  Also, you should be able to squeeze in a 30 min massage between feedings - if it is tight with a drive or anything, maybe your husband can drive you there with baby and then drive around for 30 minutes while you are getting pampered.  My mom did this for me and it was nice to know that I could feed him immediately after the massage if he needed it (instead of calculating the drive home).
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  • I'm right there with you.  I left for a few hours a couple of weeks ago (after DD's bedtime) to go to a boring CE class.  This was the first time I went anywhere without my LO.  I got back and she woke up within 15 minutes of me being home.  At least she didn't wake up crying when I was out. I am sure that this doesn't last forever. I think I will miss all of this once it has passed.
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  • It really will pass! DD never took a bottle either, so I was in the same boat until she finally spaced out her feedings. Is there any chance your LO goes to bed early enough at night that you could get out for a while? (Mine didn't, but maybe it would work for you!) Hang in there... it does get easier.
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  • yeah it's the tough 'balance' aspect of AP again... that always gets me stuck, too!  my DD never took a bottle no matter what.  i had a doc appt for a back spasm that i HAD to go to when she was around 2.5 months old, and my DH called me on the way home with her WAILING in the background cuz she had woken up and absolutely refused the bottle. then i got pulled over on my rush home (luckily i got a warning, cuz you know i was crying, oyee!)...needless to say i didnt want to go out without her after that.

    it became MUCH easier to plan a tiny bit once she spread out her feedings.  somewhere between 5-7 months or so i think?  we fell into a schedule where she nursed to sleep, so if i left, i had all of her nap plus her dad could get her up and play without needing to eat.  also after 6 months old, there will be other foods/water/etc that she can have to tide her over till you get home.

    the pp suggestion of having DH come and bring the baby is a great idea too!  also dont sell short the idea of date night at home.  light some candles, make dinner and get wine - for us it is even better because you dont lose time in the car and aren't rushing home worrying she might need to nurse again...

    good luck!

  • imagelspinman:
    I expected (and dont mind) this 99.99% of the time.  But it would be great to get a massage/go out for a drink with the girls/have a date with hubby every once in a while.

    Reassure me that this too will pass and I will become a human with painted toes, date nights and wine again!!

     

    I promise it does get better. I've just recently been able to go get a pedi and am going on my first mom's night out next week since even before the baby was born (11 months ago). You know what helps? Finding little ways to get some special time. For me, wine and popcorn and some mindless TV time with baby on me sleeping in a baby carrier does it for me.

     

    Which reminds me...go on and have that wine now! You can have wine and still breastfeed. 

  • This post gives me hope....I am so near the end of my rope!
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  • DD will take a bottle now, but, before she would, I did some of the things that have already been suggested.

    I would go out between feedings or DH would come with me to where I was getting my hair cut/toes done and he'd just hang out in a coffee shop nearby with DD.  

    This too will pass.  It sounds like you are hanging in there, but do keep a close eye on how you are feeling.  I love DD dearly, but it is really wearing on me to not have any alone time.  Even now, when she is napping, I'm still keeping an ear towards her room and can't relax totally.  It does me a world of good when DH takes her for a morning and I go out and do something just for me. 

  • It gets better, I promise.  Though it may not feel like it, your LO will spread out feedings and become slightly more predictable.  Also, make sure you are listening to what type/length of break YOU need, not what others are telling you you need.  Though I sometimes feel peer-pressured we should go away for the weekend, or I should leave for the day, or we have long date nights those things don't appeal to me/us.  However, I need breaks so I've started to chill a bit more during his naps and not worry about the house.  During the week, if I want to meet up with a friend for lunch, DS comes with me and I've stopped worrying if I'm not paying attention to him 100% of the time now that he's entertaining himself.  On the weekend, DH often follows me to town so if he needs to nurse I'm close, but I can get out on my own and he and M can have some time alone.

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