Do you ever feel...

LaVitaBella

We are adopting and to me this decision feels more "real" than the decision to get pregnant.  I got pregnant very early on in our marriage (three months in) before we had any fertility troubles.  That pregnancy ended in m/c.  I honestly have to say that for that entire time period, I never felt like the end result would be a baby.  I was very hesitant to tell people and even though I was excited and hopeful, I didn't think it would happen.  Then, when we did fertility treatments, I tried to be positive, and I wanted them to work, but I could just never picture myself being pregnant. 

Now, I have the pictures in my mind of what it will be like to get the call that there is a baby for us and to get the baby.  They are much more vivid and much more of a reality to me than pregnancy ever was. 

Did this happen to anyone else? 

Alicia_22

I am the same way!!! During our 3 years TTC, I never felt like it would end in a baby. I was hopeful but just never could see myself getting pregnant. Now that we are in the adoption process and officially "waiting," I can visualize us getting that call like you said and bringing a baby home! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!!!!!! Now I know without a doubt that we WILL get our baby.... I don't know when but I do know it will happen!

LadyRed7

Funny you should post this. I think about it all the time, because it is so very real. I just recently put a very vivid image in my blog that i keep getting. I love having the image and i love how positive this experience has been.

noonecarewhoiam

Nope. I felt like the whole thing was very surreal. The whole theoretical baby that existed halfway around the world who was my son.

When we came home it was even weirder. I felt like I was babysitting and the parents would come home soon. One night I woke up to hear him crying and though "why isn't that kid's Mommy getting him?" before I realized it was ME.

Now it's very real. Sometimes too real.

miss1180

i do! I've known since i was little that i have a problem with my ovaries, and that i pretty much have no chance of getting pregnant with a biological child. so its always been in my head that i would become a mom by adopting. I've never pictured myself being pregnant or giving birth... in fact, it scares me!!! LOL it seems so much more "real" that i'll be traveling to china and bringing my baby home that way :-)

GLynn2009

For years I felt that I would have another child that I did not birth. Adoption never entered my mind. During this process for the last two years DD has made that picture complete. 

So I am not crazy.................

ksmeg78

In a way it seems so much more real. Like it will definitely happen, barring bizarre acts of God, so in that way it's very exciting and feels incredibly real, especially now that we have a referral and photos.

But in another way, it seems so unreal. Like in a month, I am going to be in Colombia with three kids? That seems insane. People will say do you have kids and I will say "Yes, three". I will say, "My son" or "My daughter" or "My oldest is six". They will say Mami and I will say, "Yes?" That all seems so weird. When I got married, I felt like an imposter the first few months when I said "my husband" because I still felt single. So I feel like it's kind of like that on steroids. Especially because I am not a love at first sight person. I don't know if some people are, but I am not. I am committing to love my child as a parent to the best of my ability from the moment we are together. But I imagine it will take a bit before I really feel the love deeply in my soul because that's how I am. It takes me awhile to get used to things. So in that way I think at first it will feel very strange and like we are pretending or babysitting or something.

kirstenw05

noonecarewhoiam:

Nope. I felt like the whole thing was very surreal. The whole theoretical baby that existed halfway around the world who was my son.

When we came home it was even weirder. I felt like I was babysitting and the parents would come home soon. One night I woke up to hear him crying and though "why isn't that kid's Mommy getting him?" before I realized it was ME.

Now it's very real. Sometimes too real.

 

This. Although mine was born to someone I know, I didnt plan on adoption before the baby was home with me. The first few months I tried "not to love her" because I feared they would give her back to BM.

Now, even when BM is around, I think - is it even possible this child came from anyone but me??? Seems odd to think that I'm NOT the BM.

crystalpopcorn

Not really.  I was pregnant, and it didn't seem real to me until I heard the heartbeat.  Even then, it didn't totally sink in until I felt the baby moving.  When we got "the call" about the adoption, it didn't seem real to me either.  I actually felt almost the same way I did when I found out I was pregnant.  I knew the call had happened, thanks to my  notes, but I was still in disbelief.  It started seeming more real to me when we met the birth parents. 

I think that the PPs term of surreal describes it the best.  I have used that term many times in this adoption process, and when I was pregnant.  Many times, when describing our adoption progress, I feel like I'm telling someone else's story.  I am not though, and that makes it very exciting.

cindybaf

Our adoption is SO real to me. We don't have a match yet, but there's a 95% chance it would be a boy. While DH is different, I see my baby as ours already. I think he's been conceived, and I love him. I gave him a name in his language, and in ours. He's ours. Every step of the adoption process brings me closer to him, and I can not wait. I feel as if my baby was just misplaced, and still is mine as much as a bio baby.

My pregnancies only signified death to me. They were dead or doomed by the time we found out about them... I do not look forward to a pregnancy, and if I do get pregnant in the future, I will be terrified the entire time.