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Babies on the Brain
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I wonder...

akaluttsakalutts member
in Babies on the Brain

Am I the only one for whom having children (or more children) is a deal breaker? DH knows that I have always wanted more, and that us getting married was the first step toward actively pursuing TTC. If he changes his mind/is unwilling to try- I am out. (If we are simply unsuccessful in our attempts, that is a completely different story.)

Does this make me cold hearted?

 

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Re: I wonder...

  • MrsRustyGriswoldMrsRustyGriswold member
    Not cold hearted.  It would be a deal breaker for me too.
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  • DNK777DNK777 member
    It's a deal breaker for me too.
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  • XXXXX222XXXXX222 member
    It would have been a deal breaker for me too if DH decided he didn't want kids.  It sounds cheesy, but being a mother has always been my #1 life goal.  But things are different now.  If one of us decided we just wanted to give up and remain childless, I think the other would be okay with it.
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  • akaluttsakalutts member

    imagesulfababy:
    It would have been a deal breaker for me too if DH decided he didn't want kids.  It sounds cheesy, but being a mother has always been my #1 life goal.  But things are different now.  If one of us decided we just wanted to give up and remain childless, I think the other would be okay with it.

    I totally get where you are coming from.  I can't imagine how I would deal with IF, but it would not be a reason for me to leave DH.

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  • XXXXX222XXXXX222 member
    KD, you're right. But I think if DH asked me to go back on BCPs (as opposed to not preventing, you know, just in case some miracle happens, and as opposed to doing treatments in the future), then *that* wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
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  • akaluttsakalutts member
    imagekdodge423:
    imageakalutts:

    imagesulfababy:
    It would have been a deal breaker for me too if DH decided he didn't want kids.  It sounds cheesy, but being a mother has always been my #1 life goal.  But things are different now.  If one of us decided we just wanted to give up and remain childless, I think the other would be okay with it.

    I totally get where you are coming from.  I can't imagine how I would deal with IF, but it would not be a reason for me to leave DH.

    There is a world of difference between IF and not wanting them at all. We both want kids. At this point though we have both gotten a bit more realistic and if it doesn't happen, that is a completly different story than not wanting them.

    It would have been a definite deal brekaer for me if he didn't want them at all. Accepting being childless is not the same thing.

     

    That's what I was trying to say- I think my phrasing may have been cloudy.

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  • XXXXX222XXXXX222 member

    Ugh, can I cry and e-hug you?  I hate that you and I are in these situations.

    Stupid IF.

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  • crownedbeecrownedbee member

    Not wanting children is a deal breaker for me.  Like sulfa, having children is my #1 goal in life and I cannot share my life with someone who is not on the same page as me.

    IF is a whole different ballgame.

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