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2nd baby when 1st has mobility issues?
I know the topic of second babies has been discussed here before, but I am really trying to wrap my mind around this...
Kelsey is 28 mo old and has cerebral palsy. She is completely dependent on us for mobility, eating, etc.
Could anyone who has experience with having a sibling after the first with special needs chime in? Especially when it comes to pregnancy and carrying, therapies and the new baby etc?
(not to mention all the apprehension about "knowing" what can and does go wrong now...)
Thanks!
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Re: 2nd baby when 1st has mobility issues?
My kids are 22 months apart and my DS1 is very much like your DD. He has a brain tumor and subsequently suffered a stoke which made him paralyzed on his right side. He is no longer paralyzed on his right side, but is weak on that side and still requires a lot of attention and therapy. He still can't walk, but he scoots anywhere he wants to go in our house; we have to put him in a stroller when we go out because he obviously cannot get on the dirty floors in public places; he still is g-tube fed, but he does eat small amounts; he just finished with chemo (and was still on chemo when DS2 was born) and still requires montly physical evals and four times a year MRIs.
It was very hard to add DS2 (who was a surprise! baby) in the midst of all of that. That said, now that our second son is six months, it has gotten much easier. DS2 also helps DS1 out in ways I never imagined. There is a lot of competition for my attention, which in a round about way helps our DS1 to do things he wouldn't normally do. It pushes him to go outside of his normal comfort zones. Plus DS1 loves (well, most of the time) his baby brother and kisses all over him. As crazy as it was to add a second child, we are glad that it happened. I wish maybe we'd had more time between one and two, but I feel like it happened the way it did for a reason, and since it's helped DS1, I have no regrets (haha, well on most days I have no regrets!
).
Our second isn't born yet so I can't answer a lot of your questions, but #2 was a planned baby. So we did this with intent (although sometimes on bad days I question our decision)...
DS has a seizure disorder and has about 3-10 seizures a day. He can crawl, but is a long way from walking, although we do hope that he figures it out sometime this year. When we go out we take a stroller, and we bought a double stroller for when baby #2 arrives.
DS also does not feed himself anything (except sometimes fruit loops!). And feeding is a major struggle, we have to calorie count and keep a food log because he is such a poor eater. So meal times last over an hour 3-4 times a day. It is a huge trial, and I am not certain how we will handle it once #2 arrives and I am home alone again. I am hoping that he gets better about eating between now and then, but we will just have to play this one by ear.
Being pregnant while needing to carry DS has been getting harder and harder these past weeks. I do a lot of sitting on the couch with him on my lap or playing around my feet recently. Also I have my mother coming for 3 weeks around the time when #2 is due. So she sould either be able to help out in the last weeks of pregnancy, or help out when we have a newborn.
As for knowing all the things that can go wrong....yeah. We are scared to death that something will be wrong with #2. All we can do is hope that this time she will be developmentally normal and not have any serious health issues. We had the CVS testing done early on in this pregnancy, and have had several ultrasounds to look for any visible issues. It is all we can really do to prep for her arrival. Needless to say, our fingers are crossed!
Good luck!
I'm only a few weeks and it is pretty crazy to have to carry both kids everywhere. I have to go out and get a double stroller today because I can't get out of the house by myself without it! (I really thought I wouldn't need it - but good lord I do!) I am hoping that like the other posters say - that my new LO will push the older one to do more things, be more mobile, walk, talk, jump and run. I hear great things from other moms and I am just so hopeful for Isaac to have Lucy!
Pregnancy worrying was a little crazy and my husband was a mess as well - I have told others on this Board that its like we had PTSD from our first experience and it made the second's birth unbelievably stressful!!! But everything turned out great - she's healthy and here! We are still getting used to it! I hope you figure out what's best for you all!!
Thanks ladies!
I never wanted to have an "only" child, but I am not exactly eager to go through pregnancy and childbirth again given what happened the first time around.
I appreciate your thoughts and experiences!