my mom is making me nuts!

marbear81

she's like.. SOO.. you are having a son... and I'm like yea? she then asks well, are you going to have him circumcised??  I thought that was pretty rude of her to ask.. since it's DH and my decision alone whether we do it or not... ya know? the status of my DS's privates are not really her concern... (sigh) and then she's like and what about your girl.. you are going to pierce her ears, aren't you?!?!

would you find these questions offensive or am I just being hormonal and cranky? hahah I know I'm cranky... maybe because it's about an issue that I struggle with.. I don't know!

PMBridetobe

I let this be DH's decision (on the circumsciion) so I would direct her to him if she asked me. 

I would let her know that it is not her decision and thank her for her input.  Try not to let these things get to you and try to ignore her!

fallbride110406

It wouldn't really be offensive to me (she's going to find out if she ever changes his diaper anyways) but it's just one of those things parents/grandparents ask I think.  If it's asked in the form of a question, doesn't bother me.  If it's asked like, "You're going to do X, AREN'T YOU?" then it would bother me because it's not curiosity, it's like she's trying to tell you you're wrong if you don't do what she would do.

Circumcision was a mutual decision for us after we talked about it and what each of us wanted/were concerned about, so I don't have a problem telling people.  If it's his family that wants to whine to him, they're going to get the same answer/reasoning. 

SoldiersGreenBean

I agree that it completely depends on the tone of the question.  The same question asked two different ways can have two VERY different meanings.

On the surface, though, I probably wouldn't be offended.

Nikki1007

I don;t think I would be offended since it was your mom. Now someone not as close then i would question it.  I let DH make the decision on the circumcision since i don;t have a penis and don't know all the logistics lol and he is letting me make the decision on the ears.

ChicagoKari

My mom would do the exact same thing, and has on other issues.  Poses it as a question, but she isn't really asking. 

 

But I have to ask...what's the benefit of piercing her ears really early?  I guess this one I don't have experience with...didn't get my ears pierced until I was 16. 

nygrl79

The question itself if not offensive to me, especially if it was coming from my mom, but I guess the tone matters a lot here.  I would be offended if she tried to push me in a particular direction.

Temp6313048411121614

IMO you're just being hormonal and cranky.  It sounds like she was just asking about the circ.  The ears seemed a little more like she was telling you what to do, but I still don't think it's that big of a deal.  Do you and your mom have a strained relationship, that's the only reason why I could see those questions being off limits or something.

marbear81

Aussie*s_Mom:

IMO you're just being hormonal and cranky.  It sounds like she was just asking about the circ.  The ears seemed a little more like she was telling you what to do, but I still don't think it's that big of a deal.  Do you and your mom have a strained relationship, that's the only reason why I could see those questions being off limits or something.

it can be strained at times.. but no relationship is perfect.. I will try and be a little more patient with her.. :-)