Hi everyone! I'm kind of.....borderline single parent. I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and the BD and I got engaged about two weeks before conceived. I wasn't on BC, he knew this (it's not like I was just popping the pills out the pack and throwing them away, I didn't trap him at all), and yet we continued to have sex. He said he was ready for a baby, or at the very least okay with having one, which was why I wasn't concerned about the absence of BC.
Since I've gotten pregnant we do nothing but fight. His mother and I barely got along before they found out I'm pregnant, and now the only reason she's even talking to the BD is because he basically threw me under the bus regarding the email I sent her that pi**ed her off in the first place (incidentally, everyone else that has read the email, including members of her family, don't see what the big deal is). I don't know if the reason she calls the baby "bombshell" (as in, she told BD he dropped a bombshell on her when he told her I'm pregnant) is why BD is so standoffish and distant, or if it's something that is intrinsic and I just never noticed it before.
We fight because he's not at all involved in the future of the baby, he doesn't want to be bothered picking out names or working on the registry (but will veto any names I suggest without supplying any suggestions of his own) and it's hard not to feel like I'm alone in this in everything except having to run decisions by him. I'm one of those people that likes things to be fair, and it doesn't seem fair that he gets to have power over decisions but he doesn't contribute to anything else.
I'm scared about being a single mom--I'm just learning how to drive, and until I can get an identity theft issue cleared up I'm unemployable. Unfortunately, and as horrible as it is, I *need* him right now, and I don't want that to be the only reason he's here. If he actually got involved in the baby's life we might be able to work something out (though we'd still disagree on the whole "what part of the country to live in," he wants New England and I don't want to leave the South), but until his mom cools her jets and until he can actually ACT like he wants to be part of the baby's life and doesn't just SAY he wants that, I am on the way to being a single mom.
I guess I'm looking for a reality check and emotional support and wondering if single parenthood is as scary as people would have a person believe, and if maybe I'm just overreacting and need to appreciate him more? How do you know when to just make the clean break?