Possible baby shower dilema

mrs.w0706

I had a huge baby shower for my 1st DS and got everything I needed and then some. Also b/c my MIL got involved basically everyone I knew attended it which wasn't my style but that's besides the point.

When I told my friend that I was pregnant with baby #2 (my 2nd boy at that) she commented on how she really wanted to throw me a shower this time. I told her that was so sweet but that's really only for your 1st and that I didn't need anything for this baby that I didn't get with DS.  Well she keeps dropping hints that she wants to do this so whenever I can interject and re-iterate that, that's really not a good idea I do. I got a text from her last night saying, "so just a random question but when are you due again" which I wouldn't think anything of except she's been dropping hints about wanting to do a shower, so to me I think that might be her way of planning a date...

I don't want to come off as ungrateful or cranky about it but since everyone just went to a shower for me a little over a year ago I think it would be inapropriate to have another one. Anyway, since she's not coming out and saying that she's doing one I can't say anything but I want to make my point clear without hurting her feelings.

*speedracer*

you need to be direct with her and tell her that you're not comfortable having a shower, because you already have everything you need.  if you're OK with it, maybe let her plan a small party if she's really jonesing to organize something.  you can have her communicate your wishes of "no gifts please" if she is going to be hostess (and i assume the gift thing is what you're trying to avoid, right?)

mrs.w0706

*speedracer*:

you need to be direct with her and tell her that you're not comfortable having a shower, because you already have everything you need.  if you're OK with it, maybe let her plan a small party if she's really jonesing to organize something.  you can have her communicate your wishes of "no gifts please" if she is going to be hostess (and i assume the gift thing is what you're trying to avoid, right?)

That's a good point, yes I just don't want people to feel like they need to bring gifts; especially becuase DS is only 14 months old so I feel like if they get an invite to a shower for me they'll be thinking, really didn't we just do this. : )

BFab11

You can have a shower and request no gifts. So more like a mini baby party, I guess. I think it's nice if your friend wants to celebrate your new baby; instead of saying no, try a compromise so she feels like she gets to do something nice, and you don't have to worry about all the gifts and such.

jalhartm

I have heard of people throwing "sprinkles" rather than showers probably because of your same situation of already having all you need. I think I would let her have a brunch or low key get together for me but I would definitely express how uncomfortable you would be if gifts were brought

mrs.w0706

Thanks ladies, I like that solution. I am so grateful to have her be so excited and wanting to do this for me. I like the "no gift, brunch" idea, it's low key and a nice way to get together.

nooniesgal

I would tell her that you really do not want a second shower but perhaps a "sip and see" to meet baby after.    And thank you for realizing that not everyone wants to attend a second shower!!!  Go you!