Feeding daycare woes
I feel like all I do is complain about our daycare but I'm very frustrated again. I was very hesitant to let them start feeding DS solids, although thought it would be a good experience for him to sit with the other kids and have some table food. At home prior to letting them start he was tolerating cheerios, puffs, bread, small pieces of chicken, pasta, rice etc. So 3 weeks ago they started and things were going okay. There weren't a ton of foods that they offer he could eat since a lot of what they serve are mixed textures like lasagna or chilli (really?). Last week there was one episode where he gagged on something and then threw it up. He was also getting over an ear infection and cold so I just thought everything contributing to that- no big deal. Well, he did the same thing on Tuesday so I told daycare let's hold off on solids, I guess he is not ready. Ever since Tuesday he has refused solids at home including cheerios and teeting biscuits which he typically loves. So I'm not srue if this is an aversion because of the bad experince or not. He also is teething has his second front bottom tooth is finally coming in so maybe the refusal is relating to teething. I don't want to be a "crazy first time mom" but I'm really concerned that they are forcing him to eat and causing this refusal. I was too upset today to approach them but will talk to his primary provider tomorrow.
The second thing that is really annoying me is that the new thing is that they are pushing all the kids who are appropriate age wise for a cup to wean to a sippy cup. I am all for weaning DS off the bottle around 12 months which is right around the corner but am not a big fan of the sippy. I'm a speech pathologist so it's in my nature to feel this way- they don't developmentally progress feeding skills. So in the past few weeks I have been sending an open cup which DS enjoys sipping single sips from. he will do about an ounce before he loses interest which is very appropriate. We also have been working on a straw but he isn't really ready for that yet. Well my daycare provider today told me "we don't want you to bring an open cup because they are just too hard to do for us." Yes I wanted to say, why, because you are lazy." I feel that it is there job to support my child developmentally even if it takes an extra 5 minutes to sit with my child and give him one on one attention. Yes I know there are 8 kids in the room and 2 providers but seriously, I think he deserves five minutes of your time to work on cup drinking. Blah! Thanks for listening. Anyone else with similar stories?
Re: Feeding daycare woes
I could understand you being upset if they were forcing solids on him but do you know that's what they are doing? He may just not be interested in them because he was sick and his taste buds are off. When DD was sick with rotovirus, she wouldn't drink milk for 2 weeks. She barely ate anything but pedialyte and it's because she was throwing up and nothing tasted to good to her. It had nothing to with the fact that she got rotovirus at school.
In terms of the sippy cup, I have to side with the teachers. By six months (per the pediatrician), DD was learning to use a sippy cup for water and honestly, if you never let him use a sippy, he is going to have a whole lot of spills every where. The straw is actually harder to learn than a sippy cup so I guess I don't understand the reason for not wanting to have the teach him to use a sippy. Developmentally, using a sippy is the next stage in learning to get rid of the bottle.
I wouldn't neccesarily call the teachers lazy, the reality is they have schedules and processes to follow but that doesn't mean they are not loving or getting one on one attention. (assuming it is a good center and the teachers are good as well). It's no different than if a parent has multiple children to take care of. It doesn't mean they aren't loved. I learned in the beginning that there are certain things they did differently than I did at home, not bad just different and I just recognized that she is at school and being well taken care of but that I can't expect them to do everything I do at home, it's just not fair or feasible to accept.
If you are concerned than certainly talk to the teacher and express your concerns but these teachers work there butts off and get paid way less than they should be so to call them lazy (unless they are truly just sitting around not taking care of your child) kind of makes me sad because I know how hard their jobs are and couldn't imagine doing what they do.
- LH
I definitely feel for you on the thing about the solids. It's frustrating when they refuse to eat and can't tell you why. We're going through something similar with Warner and I'm worried that he's not eating enough and not progressing as he should. In our case I think it's a combination of the antibiotic he was on upsetting his tummy and the fact that he's also teething. I don't have any advice for you, but it does seem like these things are cyclical, I'm willing to bet his aversion to texture will go away soon and he'll get back to where he was. (then there will be something else to confound you!)
When it comes to the open cup, I have to say that I side with the teachers, too. I understand where you are coming from with not wanting to introduce the sippy cup. I've read up on it and the data is compelling. But unfortunately, using an open cup in a daycare setting is just not practical IMO. I've been working with Warner at home to practice using the cup, but I would never expect our DCPs to do that (and we have a 3 to 8 ratio). If I were a SAHM, I'd probably skip the sippy cup altogether and really focus on the open cup, but it's just not going to happen. And of all the developmental issues I can worry about for my son this is low on the priority list for me.
Also, remember that TONS of kids have grown up drinking from sippy cups and they are completely and totally fine :-)
Re: the Solids/Table Food...
DD #2 was a gagger - to the point where she'd throw up if she gagged on something. It lasted a few weeks/months and I was very hesitant to keep giving her table food. DD #1 never had that problem (she ate table food like a champ - yes including chili!), so I was kind of freaked out. As a result #2 is getting table foods way later than #1 did.
She is the Queen of Ear Infections so maybe the gagging/throwing up had to do with that - either the pain or the antibiotics. And there's the teething, which sometimes makes her refuse to eat.
My honest opinion is that I don't think that your baby's one episode of throwing up after gagging on food is anything he'll remember five minutes later. I don't think they can develop an aversion to something after one throw up. I'm totally guessing.
I asked our pediatrician about the gagging and she said to just keep giving her table food - she's got to get used to it. She's got to just work it out. She has to train herself to not let it get stuck in the back of her throat. She has to learn to chew, and keep the food in the front of her mouth, and use her tongue to keep it up there until it's broken down.
So we just kept giving her table food after table food, trying lots of different things, and finally the gagging stopped. Occasionally she still does it, but unless she's literally choking, I just let her work it out. It's gotten a lot better. Don't give up!!
Re: the sippy cup....
I'm kind of with your DCP's and pp's on that one.
we are not in DCP-setting yet but I did discuss drinking with Goddard, where we plan to take DD. She said they don't allow open cups b/c it's just too messy, kids spill stuff and I understand, they don't want to have to change clothes 10 times a day. This is for the 18-24mo room (not sure about others). she said all parents have to bring in a sippy and I asked about a straw cup and she said it's fine. DD does not use a sippy, she only uses a straw cup. Honestly, it was so easy, I sucked on a straw in front of her a few times and she picked it up w/n 2 hrs. She was 8mo old.
I guess I'm kinda late about an open cup, I let her drink out of mine (she wants my milk when I have it) but I have not let her drink out of one by herself. I am not worried about it, there are no 15 y.o. out there who can't use a cup/glass!
Ditto PP...you might have to let this one go. I understand where you are coming from, but it's impractical to expect that they can devote the time to the open cup. Go for the straw cup and see how that goes if you are opposed to a sippy, which it sounds like you have a lot of research on in your profession.
As for the table foods, DS is 10 months and still gags on a lot of stuff - he gagged on pasta last night! Other than puffs, he definitely seems to prefer pureed stuff. We just keep trying. I don't think they develop permanent aversions, but DS goes through phases where he won't eat certain things that he loved the week before.