Maybe I am just having a bad day...

mandaphilly

or maybe it just really hurt my feelings.

For me, this statement is true. "My child saved my life."

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/30356266.aspx

I'm not trying to call out anybody's opinions, it just made me sad. Idk - maybe AF is coming soon.

peeps61308

I think what you said was wonderful!! My mom has said more times than I can count that I saved her life. She had a lot of issues at home and I was her outlet. I can promise that DD probably saved my life. If not for her I probably would have stayed with STBXH and continued making excuses for him. Once DD was born, I was able to clearly see what was and was not important.

As for some of the ladies who replied, maybe living in the world with the rose colored glasses on they are unable to think about other situations. Not sure...

mandaphilly

EXACTLY!!!

fauxshelley

Amanda, I think you reacted a bit harsh w/ the "eff you".  I didn't see anyone putting you down.  Is there more to the post that I missed? 

We all have bad days, hang in there girl. 

mandaphilly

fauxshelley:

Amanda, I think you reacted a bit harsh w/ the "eff you".  I didn't see anyone putting you down.  Is there more to the post that I missed? 

We all have bad days, hang in there girl. 

I see your point. 

I commonly use that having Mia now has truly saved me, and I felt like maybe she was quoting me? I think it's just one of those days for me..

ladyaylena

I went with

"I've never heard anyone say this, but if you're not grown up, you probably shouldn't have had a baby. "

 Only because I think people should understand more what it takes to take care of a baby BEFORE having one.  All too often have I seen young girls have children and they end up being cared for by another family member because the girl didn't "sow her wild oats" before she had a baby.  But after the fact, I'm really happy for you that it has made you a better person 

meghan_marie

I think you put it perfectly.

I said:

My baby saved my life. It was a wake up call to me. I've never picked good men. I've always picked losers. A loser got me pregnant in fact. I left him and I now realize that what I do and who I choose to date not only affects me but it also affects others that are important to me. I haven't put myself back out there and I won't for a while. I want to focus on my child. When the time comes for me to date again I'm going to be more selective and not stay with abusive men.

Did I miss the eff you post?? I didn't see that on there.

 

xcjen06

I'd have to say that I feel like my baby saved me too. No matter what my ex was doing I kept making excuses for him and hoping that things would get better. But once I got pregnant I knew that was not a good situation for my baby to be in, and now that I have been out of that relationship for nearly 6 months I see how truly bad that relationship was and know that it would have only gotten worse if I had stayed. So, yes, I would say that my baby saved me in the sense that knowing I was pregnant made me take a step back and look at what kind of situation I was really in.

meghan_marie

xcjen06:

I'd have to say that I feel like my baby saved me too. No matter what my ex was doing I kept making excuses for him and hoping that things would get better. But once I got pregnant I knew that was not a good situation for my baby to be in, and now that I have been out of that relationship for nearly 6 months I see how truly bad that relationship was and know that it would have only gotten worse if I had stayed. So, yes, I would say that my baby saved me in the sense that knowing I was pregnant made me take a step back and look at what kind of situation I was really in.

mhm. I totally agree with this!!

blondnearby

For me, DD#1 changed my life and DD#2 saved my life. As far as changing my life, finding out I was pregnant with DD#1 was amazing  I stopped acting like a silly 21 year old going out and getting drunk a couple nights a week.  My stbx and I had a great relationship when we both could be together and party it up...  As far as DD#2 saving my life, I was at such a low place in my life with finding out that stbx was cheating, my dad commiting suicide, and then the physical abuse that being pregnant with DD#2 is the only reason I am alive today.  The moment she was born its like my life was renewed. My OB/GYN even commented a couple days after I had her that I was such a different person.  I was happy.  Even DD#2's personality was fitting to what I needed in my life at the moment.  DD#1 was not and still, is not affectionate.  DD#2 is cuddly and smiles non stop and is definately the mommy's girl that my emotional side needed so desperately.  Even though I didn't know I would need to be needed when I got pregnent with her, Her being there in my life made things worth living for.

ShanJosh777

Of course I think that you should be grown-up before you have a baby.  But guess what?  Not everyone lives in a fairy tale world.  Things happen, and people have children under less than ideal circumstances all.the.time.  I don't see anything wrong with recognizing that your baby changed your life, made you a different person, or saved you from going down the wrong path.

However, if someone said that they purposely had a baby to 'fix' themselves or their life, then yeah, that would get a big old side-eye.

OSUtiff

A lot of these women (probably most) on these boards were actively trying to conceive or at least in a steady relationship when they got pregnant. It is probably hard for them to wrap their mind around the thought of an "accidental" pregnancy.  Many had ignorant and uninformed views on the situation. However, don't let that bother you. Everyone's situation is different, and we all judge one another at some point.

I'm so glad that Mia was able to turn your life around.

achase123

I think that maybe you were just having a bad day-I didn't see any posts that were too critical. I can see both sides.  PPL shouldn't purposely have a child to make their life better but I can see where having a baby has enriched all of our lives and given many of us reason to think of what is in the best interest of our child, rather than just doing things that could be detrimental because we didn't have enough self respect to get out of toxic situations.  I think it's great that Mia has enhanced your life so much and she is probably a big reason why you have been strong enough to stay away from BD.  You are a great mommy and you are doing the best thing for her and that is learning to love yourself!

SherbieKun

achase123:

I think that maybe you were just having a bad day-I didn't see any posts that were too critical. I can see both sides.  PPL shouldn't purposely have a child to make their life better but I can see where having a baby has enriched all of our lives and given many of us reason to think of what is in the best interest of our child, rather than just doing things that could be detrimental because we didn't have enough self respect to get out of toxic situations.  I think it's great that Mia has enhanced your life so much and she is probably a big reason why you have been strong enough to stay away from BD.  You are a great mommy and you are doing the best thing for her and that is learning to love yourself!

Ditto this.  I can't say that DD saved my life BUT I can see how there are people out there that do feel this way.  Everyone is different and I would never look down at either side of the situation.