I would like your opinion and help please.

Brooklyn2008

I posted this on the 2nd shower post but I feel it may be overlooked so here it is again. Thanks in advance. 

Hello all. I am new here and although we are TTC we are not preggers now. However, my very good friend is with her second baby. Her first was a girl and is 2 years old(second will be a boy) and although we attempted to have a shower she went into labor prematurly on her shower weekend. Therefore she never had the shower but received the gifts.

She does not want gifts but we would like to do something to celebrate together. Games and perhaps only suggesting diapers and wipes as gifts? I need suggestions for wording the invites and if this sounds ok.

 Thank you so much!

hopefulmom

Make it a sprinkle and kind of just close friends and family.  Too bad she missed her first shower...although she DID have one.  She could also have a party (meet the baby) after her LO is born.  Most people will bring diapers and such (maybe a little outfit) since they know she will have most everything she needs.

Mama_SAS

We did this for a friend who's first shower was cancelled due to a huge snowstorm. We had only very close friends at her 2nd shower and it was a surprise - but we all talked about it beforehand and decided that was what was going to happen.

 

DaniLovesPink

If there was not a shower, but the gifts intended for the shower were still received, I can't believe it's right to ask the same people to come to another event and bring something else for the mom/baby.  I would host a meet-the-baby party, with only the original shower guests invited.  If they choose to bring another gift, and some will, that's fine.  But, do not indicate the desire for gifts of any kind, or make people feel like they're expected/necessary.

Brooklyn2008

DaniLovesPink:

What about if the diapers are a part of a game? The first shower had a game planned complete with prizes for the most diapers. Which she did not receive. Do you think that would be acceptable? Just a thought.

We are not asking for any gifts and she is not registering either. In fact we want to express that there is no need for gifts but I am still unclear on how to word the inviation. She does not want to have a meet the baby after since the last time it never happened either due to the B's health issues.

 Thanks again you all!

DaniLovesPink

Okay, again, a little confusion: if there was a game planned, that involved buying and bringing diapers to the shower and it wasn't played, why would they give her all the other gifts, but not the diapers that they should have already purchased in anticipation of the shower and said game?

 

I would still feel really put off if someone asked me to bring anything to a baby shower that was rescheduled and I had already given my intended gift from the first one.  I do think people will bring something, because it's customary, but I wouldn't ask.  I'm sorry, because I know this kind of sucks for your friend to not get the traditional shower, but you really need to keep the guests in mind, too.  I also think people will probably expect for the baby to be there (unless her health issues are severe and would keep her from attending), so if possible, you might want to discuss that.

DaniLovesPink

I'm sorry - I do think I may have read this entirely wrong.  Please forgive me if I did.  Let me see if this is the way it's going down:

She had a shower planned when she was pregnant with her daughter, but the daughter was born prematurely and she did not get to have the shower.  Now she is pregnant with her son, and you want to do something to celebrate this pregnancy?  If that's the case, my sincerest apologies.  I am actually doing something very similar for my friend right now - her daughter had heart problems and so her shower with her daughter was very mum, not celebratory, due to the uncertanties.  Now that she's having her son, we are having a shower because we feel she deserves to have the experience and to be able to celebrate and be excited.  So, if that's what this is, please, by all means, throw her a shower and I don't think people would be off-put at all by being asked to bring something.  It's a wonderful time to celebrate and she deserves that celebration, regardless which pregnancy this is.

hopefulmom

If she really doesn't want gifts then don't call it a shower.  Just call it a party.  You can just do the diaper game so that is what people will bring.  Some will still bring a gift, an outfit or whatever.

Blueyezz0530

Have a baby sprinkle

mrstarawalsh

Just have a diapers and wipes party and call it that!

serarose

If she wants to have the party before the baby comes but doesn't want to call it a shower, maybe it could just be worded as a 'celebration of friends' or something else along those lines that sounded like it would work for her.

On invitations I've received for some occasions, the hosts have included a message to the effect of 'please don't bring anything except yourselves - your friendship is the best gift we could hope for.'  There will likely still be people who will bring a gift - in which case your friend could use it as she saw fit or donate it to a shelter if she had excess/everything she wanted already.