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Parenting
Genuine question re: "extended" paci use
My question is why? I just kind of always associated the use of paci's with babies and think that by the age of 1 y/o that kids should not need an artificial soothing device. Maybe I am completely off base here because I have never had a kid use one past a year old because I always take it away cold turkey. This is not meant as a flame at all, I am honestly curious what the benefit is to letting a child use a paci at 2, 3 even 4 y/o. My half sister used one until she was 5 y/o and I just never really understood.
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/9/11 - 34:24 - 1st race evah!
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Genuine question re: "extended" paci use
I might be a good person to answer this b/c I used to feel the exact same way. With DS1 we took it away at 1 year and that was it. With DS2 we did the same thing and he freaked out. Two weeks of screaming nights and I finally gave it back (he was only getting it at naps and bed anyway). I mentioned it to the pedi and he blew it off, said it was no big deal. His exact words were: "Some kids need those endorphins more than others."
One year later and he still gets the paci at naps and bed. I'm going to start working on taking it away again, but this time instead of cold turkey, I think I'm giong to have to try the cutting trick.
A little after Abby turned 2 I decided once she lost all her pacis she was done, I was not buying more. She lost the last one while out shopping with DH. It was a rough couple of weeks, but I think not only does it become a habbit it gives them a sense of security. In retrospect I wish I had taken hers away like you did at 1. I think it would have been a lot easier on all of us.
DD used hers up until a month ago, only in bed for sleep. It relaxed her and helped her fall asleep.
Benefit of paci = Sleep
'Artificial' soothing devices come in many forms - paci, blanket, stuffed animal, nightlight. I don't see why these are bad for kids.
Excessive paci use and beyond a certain age can lead to oral health issues, but sleeping use til 3, both DD's ped and ped dentist said was perfectly fine.
For my dd, she definitely needed it for soothing at bedtime after 1. In fact, she never used one to fall asleep until then. I assumed it was because that is when we dropped the bottle. She was no longer falling asleep while drinking a bottle. You'd take the bottle or paci out of her mouth when she was asleep, and she would still be sucking as if it were in there. So that tells me that she still had that strong instinct to soothe by sucking.
We got rid of it just before she turned three, and she was very attached to it at bedtime, but it was definitely time to get rid of it. It is no different than a child wanting/needed their blanket or other lovey, imo.
ETA: I do not agree, though, with letting an older child have a paci in their mouth 24/7. If they are upset, trying to fall asleep, etc. and need it for soothing I can see that, but I don't think there is a benefit to a 3 year old having a paci in their mouth at all times of the day.
To calm them.
To use it to 5 is excessive, yes. But some babies/toddlers probably get more comfort from it than others, so to just say - Take it away at 1, cold turkey! - doesn't work as well for some children as it might for others.
Some kids really just like that sucking motion - plus Jackson's was more like a lovey than any of his stuffed animals. He would hold like three in his hand as he fell asleep.
He got rid of it around 2.5, which was fine w/ us. But even now, he still sucks in his sleep. Not on a paci, but if he falls asleep by me, if he starts to wake up, he'll make a sucking motion and go back to sleep.
DS1 still uses one at just over three (at bedtime and naptime).
It's his comfort item. He doesn't have a blanket or a lovey. His "MiMi" soothes him.
It'll be going away soon, but my pedi and orthodontist have no concern in him still using it at 3.
That's not what I said. I said none of my kids used it past 1 y/o because I took it away cold turkey. DS#1 was 1 y/o, but DD was 6mths and DS#2 was 4mths. I'm definitely of the school of thought that you need to do what is best for your child even if I don't agree with it. I was simply curious as to what the reasoning was because I have never personally dealt with extended paci use.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
Because it was the only thing my kid got attached to. He didn't have a "lovey", he was fine to throw out the bottles at 11 months, but he was comforted by his paci. I wasn't just going to rip his comfort item away at an age that he couldn't understand why (even the most basic form of why). And any good dentist will tel you that pacifier use in moderation isn't going to hurt a child's teeth until they are permanent teeth (not that I would have let it go on for that long).
We let Miles lead us on dropping the paci. He gave it up for daytime use on his own at about 18 months. He was done with it at night time a little after he was two. He just stopped needing it, so he just stopped asking for it. I would've let him keep it longer if he had still wanted it. Again, I just don't see the point of tearing away his comfort when there really is no reason to. It doesn't hurt them.
This is us also. DD still uses a paci to sleep and she is a world class sleeper. We did try to take it away and after 5 days she was laying in my arms crying "mommy I am so tired and I just can't sleep" It was horrible.
My ped and dentist have no problem with it and I doubt she will go to college with it, but if she does they have some kick ass Virginia Tech ones:)
DD has a sensory issue. "Sensory integration disorder, seeking oral input". Basically, she has an inability to self soothe and puts things in her mouth to calm her down.
If she doesn't have a paci nearby, she'll put fingers, toys, utensils, rocks, anything in her mouth. Honestly, a paci is the cleanest and safest.
DD is a pacifier baby. Both of my kids love to suck, and it's going to be easier to take away her paci at 2 or so than it is to take DS fingers.
He has been a finger sucker since he was in utero, and I have no idea how we are going to break him of the habit.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Because my daughter was extremely attached. It wasn't hurting anything. Her dentist just wanted it gone by 4. I am not one to follow rules that you need do certain things by a certain age since our children are all individuals and have different needs etc. I wasn't going to just take it away because that is what most of society does. Silly reason IMO. I am more about waiting until they are ready and following their cues. We took it away shortly after she turned 3 because we wanted it gone before her baby sister was born and she seemed ready.
ETA: We only allowed it at nap and bedtime since having it during the waking hours can interfere with speech and as a fellow thumb sucker until I was 6, I could empathize with dd.
Oh and she only uses it for sleep...never outside the house, never in between naps.
But it's like sucking your thumb...or any other oral fixation adults have.
I used it until I was 3 then my parents took it from me cold turkey. That is not a good idea in my opinion. I have since then read that by taking a pacifier away from a child before they are reading to take themselves off causes many problems down the line. Biting finger nails, chewing pens, smoking, putting things in their mouth period. I'm a firm believer in this! I have bit my nails since I was 4, chewed pens and pencils in school (I still chew my pen caps), and although I hate to admit it... smoked for a few years as well. My sister on the other hand never wanted a pacifier, she never had any of these problems.
I'm hoping my baby doesn't take to the pacifier, but if it does... suck away! I'm not taking it from them.