Poll: Baby/Toddler Sleep & Routines
Ugh, how come you girls didn't warn us that once these little ones were born that we would never get quality sleep again?!
Seriously, after 7 weeks I am ready to get this little guy into some kind of routine. I've read up a little on the No Cry Sleep Solution and the Baby Whisperer's E.A.S.Y Method. I understand that when Benjamin is physically and mentally ready to sleep longer than a 2-3 hour stretch, he will. But if it'll help to start some kind of routine now, I'd like to try.
So, with your little one, when and what kind of routine did you set? Have their sleep habits changed drastically from 2 months - present? Did your little one sleep in your room for a certain time?
My guy likes to sleep in his swing for naps and has a hard time napping anywhere else. Lately he's been taking 2-3 30 minute naps during the day. At night, he's had a hard time sleeping in his bassinet in our room, so he's been sleeping with me, and DH in the guest room. Eventually, I'd like to get him used to his crib in his own room, but heck I can't even get him to nap anywhere but the swing. And of course, he needs to nurse to sleep - for naps and bedtime. Am I doomed? Or is it still too early to tell?
Re: Poll: Baby/Toddler Sleep & Routines
First of all, you are not doomed!! lol. Id say far from. He is only 1 month old, so getting him into a routine at this point will be kind of difficult. I had J in our room at night, and at 1 month old, we were cosleeping b/c that was the only way I could get him to sleep and it was much easier to nurse him in bed and like you, i nursed him back to sleep. I didnt expect much sleep at that point still..he woke up like 3 - 4x a night. I didn't really notice a pattern of sleeping until he was about 2 1/2 mos old. He started sleeping from about 10p - 4a, w/o waking up. It was fantastic. Then 4 months hit, and he started waking up again. I'd nurse him and settle him back down in our bed. Fast forward to now, he does sleep through the night in his crib. His crib is still in our room b/c of logistics. I didnt cio or anything like that. I was fortunate in that he kind of just got used to us putting him in the crib at night, instead of in our bed. We started doing this sometime around 8 mos i think..after I had stopped nursing at night. However, I still give him a bottle of milk and rock him to sleep. I want to get rid of the nighttime bottle and give him his milk w/ dinner. So anyways, the point is, that your situation sounds alot like mine (although J hated the swing and always wanted to be carried) and now ds sleeps through the night by himself. It will happen. Just give it some time
Wow, I could have written this post myself! It's beyond exhausting, isn't it? So far I have been just going with the flow and following her cues, but with the thought of going back to work soon, this week I've really felt like I need to start some sort of routine with her. The latest thing now is that she won't sleep for long stretches during the day...she just takes these little 15-30 minute power naps, so I can't even count on a solid block of time during the day where I know she'll be asleep. What I started to do just yesterday is to keep a log (per the suggestion of "The No Cry Sleep Solution") of what she does all day. I'm hoping to look back on it in a week and try to figure out some patterns or something that I can use to create a schedule/routine.
Emma naps almost exclusively in her swing, bouncy seat, or in the car seat if we are out and about. I've tried to put her in her crib or bassinet but those naps don't last more than 10 minutes. At night, on a good night, she will sleep one solid stretch in her bassinet next to our bed, but we have ended up co-sleeping with her probably between 25% and 50% of the time. She sleeps MUCH better in bed with us than she does in her bassinet. I really want to make a conscious effort to put her down in her crib for naps in the next few weeks because I want to get her used to it, but honestly right now it feels hopeless
Part of the reason that I hadn't started a bedtime routine with her sooner is because it felt like she slept the same amount regardless of what time it was. But now that she is only cat napping during the day and giving me somewhat longer stretches at night (4 or 4 and a half hours, then every 2 hours after that until she's up for the day), I am trying to start a routine that will signal to her that it's night time and that she is "supposed" to sleep longer at that time. So far what I'm doing is storybook, massage, bath, nurse, bed. I did it for the first time last night and it went okay - didn't really notice too much of a difference but I'm hoping that with time, it will help her sleep better at night to have that little routine established.
Anyway, sorry this was so long and babbeling, but I am right there with you. I keep reminding myself that this is only a very short time period in her life (and mine) and that I should enjoy it to the fullest, but it's hard to enjoy it when you are sleep deprived most of the time. I'm also worried about creating a monster who is going to be a year old and still only wanting to sleep in our bed or in the swing. It's so stressful.
p.s. I don't remember exactly where you live, but there is a GREAT group class that meets at Mercy Hospital. the lady who teaches it, Faith, is a little nutty, but she is really comforting and helps you feel better by assuring you that everything you are going through is normal (because it is). And being around other moms who are in the same boat you are really helps you to feel not so alone.
You are def not doomed, but now may be a good time to stop nursing him to sleep and put him down drowsy but still awake. Also, his naps are too short for how little he is. You may want to keep trying to nap him in the crib or bassinet, because the motion sleep in the swing is not getting him into a deep enough sleep to get a good long nap in.
I used the Baby Whisperer's Easy Method and her tank feeding and dream feeding. We started it right around 7 weeks, I think she says you can safely start it as long as the baby is over 10lbs. By 9 weeks she was sleeping 8 hours in a row, and I wanna say by 4-5 months she was doing her 12 hour a night sleep, just like she does now still.
It's a great time to start a bedtime routine. Ours is bath, book, and bed. We used to do her last bottle after the book, but once she got teeth we stopped doing that and gave her last bottle with dinner time before the bath so we could brush her teeth before we settled into the book and bed.
It got a lot better for us at 10-12 weeks. I remember reading No Cry Sleep Solution's section for 4 month old and I had barely started any of the techniques and he magically started sleeping better.
Some BF babies tend to stick with that 2-3 hours thing for a while. Your babe is still young so don't think it will last forever.
Cosleeping was a great solution for us. He now naps in his crib and spends most of the night there. We snuggle in the mornings.
He nursed to sleep for a long time and then we started doing Pantley's tricks so he could be put down other ways. It does get better, I promise!
I didn't read everyone's responses because well..I'm tired! hehe
With two I had no choice but to set a routine...so we did from the very beginning. Basically I followed their cues...they will start to naturally show you what their "rhythm" is.
My guys were early so they were eating every 1-1.5 hours at the beginning. They naturally started to stretch it out. Once they were about 4-6 weeks old I started to try to push a 3 hour schedule (eating every 3 hours). If they were hungry before, I would feed them before, but would try to push to 3 hours at the next feeding. I started to try to distract them when they started to get fussy, to make sure they could make it to the 3-hour schedule. After a few weeks they were like clock work! 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm...and the night time was fair game...whenever they got up I fed them. They were eating at 1am, 4am and 7am at that point (this was like at 6 weeks....to get there I spent many nights of feeding them around the clock every 1-2 hours!).
At about the same time, I transferred them to their cribs in the nursery...it took a couple of nights of adjusting, but that was it!. You just have to be consistent. They were fussy, I would go, soothe them, put them back down, etc.
At around 4 weeks I started implementing a bedtime routine (bath on bath days, PJs, bottle in dark living room, a little cuddling and rocking to sleep in their nursery). At about 12 or 14 weeks, I broke them out of the rocking habit (because I was exhausted and was spending most of my day rocking them!...sometimes 45 minutes AECH to take a 20 minute nap!). Again, I thought it would be a horrible transition, but within 3 days the rocking habit had been broken and I was putting them to sleep for naps and night time awake!. Now they go down, don't cry and are sleeping within minutes!.
We're still on a 3-hour schedule...and have been consistently eating 1x/night for the last month or so. Lucas has slept through the night about 3 times (7pm-7am) and Alex a few times has gone from 7pm-5am. So it's possible to get there!. I'm still not there and we have bad nights once in a while...but I think they're naturally setting their own schedule.
Their bedtime is pretty much set by them. I listened to their cues and by 8pm they were ready to go...now it's like 7pm!. They just get cranky and I know they're just ready.
I've never let them CIO....I've used the pick-up and put down method...go out of the room, let them cry for 3-5 minutes max, come back in, and repeat...I waited until they were 3 months to do this though.
I don't think you're doomed, but I do think babies need and want a routine and consistency. You can't spoil them at this point, but they can become accustomed to habits...so you just have to know which habits you are ok with vs which ones you want to try to break....and if there is something you want to break, be patient and give them time. They say it takes 3 days to break a habit and 3 days to create one!
Good luck
Oh and my boys napped every where until about 3 months that I started to put them down for naps in their room. Before then they were napping in bouncy seats, swings, boppys, lap, etc...
Imagine how soothing it must be to be nursed to sleep.
I say enjoy it while you can. I don't think there's anything wrong with comfort nursing either as long as you are okay with it. It's all good for your milk supply.
Eventually they don't want all the cuddles as they are too busy!
You can always "fix" it later. Pantley's Pull Off Method worked for us.
And ditto pp about noticing their schedule.
I did EASY and fed on demand every 2-3 hours. It seemed like it was one big 24 hour clock rather than a schedule of any sorts.
One day (again around 4 months) I realized he was always sleepy at 10:30 am. Well that became nap time! It can be easier to follow their cues and then develop the schedule. You can make your own bedtime routine too.
A lot of babies will only sleep in the swing in the beginning. They are used to being inside of you getting jiggled around all day so they like the movement. My son napped in his swing until he outgrew it at 5.5 months old. For naps I say, whatever works...a baby who doesn't nap does nothing but fuss and cry, so don't worry about following the "rules".
For nighttime sleep I was able to get Nicky into his bassinet at 5 weeks old following the 5S's from the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD (Swinging, Swaddling, Sucking, Side sleeping, Shushing). He got a feeding while I rocked him in the glider, which is a similar motion to Swinging, then he got Swaddled, Sucked on a binky, got placed in his bassinet on his Side and I Shushed him with a teddy bear that played womb sounds. It worked! He fell asleep at 10 and didn't stir until he needed a feeding in the middle of the night, usually around 2.
He didn't start STTN until 4 months old, but at least I was able to establish a little bit of a routine and get a few hours of uninterupted sleep.
You'll see that every 2 months or so your baby's schedule will change slightly as they no longer need a middle of the night feeding, can go longer inbetween feedings, start solids, drop naps, etc, but usually by a few months old the bedtime routine is solid and you can just adjust the daytime stuff acccording to age.
GL!
This! I will also add that I started using a sound machine when Sophie was about 6 weeks old because she kept waking herself up and her sleep seemed fitfull. My mom recommended it because of the Happiest Baby on the Block and the SHHing noises. Its like a constant sooth. It totally worked. She started sleeping longer little by little and by 8-9 weeks was giving me 12 hours a nap....and 3 long naps a day.
The one I use is the Homedics sound machine. Its about $20 at Bed Bath and Beyond and Walmart. Sophie still uses it. She does not really need it anymore but it helps drown out the noises of the house and we can have our surround sound as loud as we want during a good action movie.
Also, she got herself into this routine herself however I will tell you that I had to watch the clock with her. Sophie was never one to give me sleepy time cues. She still doesn't. The more tired she is...the more awake she seems. So, try to follow the clock instead of Ben's cues for a while and see if that helps.
Also, co sleeping was not an option for us. My husband and I agreed from the beginning that a) we would stay in the same bed and that b) our marriage bed was just for us. Sophie slept in her cradle until she was 8 weeks old, when it was apparent she was too big for it and kept scootching to the top. I moved her to her room and her crib then but I had already started getting her used to her crib by putting her in there for naps. By then she was already a belly sleeper, too.
I nursed her but did not nurse her to sleep. I would try to wake her up a little bit before laying her in her bed. She never took a pacifier so I did not have to worry about her spitting one out and waking herself up. The sound machine really did work wonders. The kid would nap for hours and hours.
Middle of the night feedings - I had to stop laying down to nurse her. I loved it but she got used to the feeling of my bed. I also could not nurse her in the living room with the TV on because the light from the screen seemed to overstimulate her and keep her awake longer after. So, I started just sitting up in bed, changing her diaper, putting her on the boob...then the other. When she was done, I swaddled her and put her back in her cradle. Sometimes she fussed a little bit but would eventually fall asleep.
HTH!