Daycare Mom Incident WDYT?

Erika&Brian

So this morning I am dropping Grant off, and this is this little boy (like 2.5) absolutely HYSTERICAL. He doesn't want to go to school/daycare. His mom proceeds to tell me it's only his 3rd day and he just isn't used to it. I was nice and commented on how it always takes some time. She then proceeds to talk to her son and say "mommy loves you and mommy wishes she didn't have to work but mommy has to work. Mommy wishes she could stay home with you".....

 I just felt it was so wrong to send such a mixed message to her son. Even if she wasn't happy about the scenario I didn't think it was fair for her to send that message to him telling him she didn't want to work, etc. I stayed about 5 mins after she left and he was still so hysterical, broke my heart.

I am fortunate to be in a situation that I choose to work, so maybe my perspective is different...but I've always thought that no matter what the scenario is you make the best of it, and keep things positive and shelter kids from as much as possible.

Thoughts?

SigmundsGirl

Obviously I don't have a child in daycare yet, but it sounds like she was trying to get him to understand that she didn't want to leave him. I think it is unrealistic to expect a 2.5-year-old to understand the difference between "want" and "need." I know adults that have a problem with this.

All that being said, I am sure I will do my best to tell our LO that he is going to have fun and try to make it a positive experience, then I will cry on my way to work.

houstonkdw

Hmmm.....I would have even thought to analyze her statement this deep but then again I am fairly laid back.  He is 2 so I don't think she is sending him mixed messages.  Even if he was 10 I would still feel this way.  I tell my kids all the time that I am going to work for them and that is what they know. 

bloverly

Hmmm, I don't know. I personally do not want to work, and if I end up having to do daycare (currently trying to find a way to avoid paying for the childcare we can't afford!) then I'd have a very hard time with it. I guess her thinking was she didn't want him to think that she wanted to leave him there and was happy to get rid of him? Maybe to her, if she acted happy about it or like it didn't hurt her that he was upset. Sometimes I think there just is no good way to deal with certain things. There are pro and cons to both approaches of handling the situation. You definitely do have to make the best and be positive, but you can't always shelter your kids, and honestly, sometimes it is best you don't. Now a 2.5yr old won't be able to understand anyhow, but when kids are some older, I think it is ok for them to know how things really are within reason. My parents never sheltered us from their bankruptcies and the lack of money growing up. But they also didn't make it seem like the end of the world. I think that because they let us know what was going on, but they stayed positive and didn't break down in front of us, that helped. I never lived in a world where I thought it was perfect...past the age of 6 haha.

Erika&Brian

I agree bloverly I probably should have said shelter small kids (since they just simply can't comprehend so many things). I guess I just can't see explaining that to a 2.5 yo. I definitely understand older children need to know reality and not live in a bubble :-).

Grant sometimes screams when I drop him off too (although it only lasts about 30 seconds) and I just tell him mommy goes to work and he's a big boy and goes to school. I've never tried to explain further.

bloverly

Explaining anything further would be a waste of your energy for sure. I know people teach their infants to read now (umm scary) but it doesn't mean they can comprehend it all like little adults. Like that approach, he goes to school you go to work. That's a nice way to put it. Doesn't make it seem like you're abandoning him, but more that that is just what he does just like going to work is what you do. Keep it simple

anna_j

houstonkdw:

Hmmm.....I would have even thought to analyze her statement this deep but then again I am fairly laid back.  He is 2 so I don't think she is sending him mixed messages.  Even if he was 10 I would still feel this way.  I tell my kids all the time that I am going to work for them and that is what they know. 

I agree, it sounds like she was just trying to make him feel loved and know that she didn't really want to leave him but had to.  He's probably a little young to truly understand but I'm sure I would say whatever I could to make my crying child feel better in that situation.