2nd & 3rd kids two years apart or three years apart?

mamarazzi

DS1 & DS2 are right at two years apart.  We're not sure what spacing we want with #3.  Two years has been pretty good for the most part (rougher in the beginning, but they play great together now).  We don't really want to wait *too* long and get out of the baby phase altogether before having another.

With my job, it would be best to have a November - February baby.  That puts the last two either ~2 years or ~3 years apart.

Which age spacing do you think is better and why?

amiamish

Mine will be 3yrs, so...I'll have to get back to you. (or just follow my post after july )

 

DandelionMom

Mine are 2.5 years apart and I wish they were 3 years apart.  I like that spacing better (it was the spacing between my first two) because then you end up with only one in diapers at a time, the older child is more independent, and the older child often spends some time in preschool. 

If I had it to do over again, I would have had my girls 4 years apart though.  It would be a lot easier to handle college if I only had one kid in it at a time. 

eclaires

I would prefer 3 or more, but I have no experience.  3 would probably be ideal for me.  2 or less seems so rough to me.

BUT, I really dislike the newborn stage, and the further away from it I am the more likely I am to want another one.

ErinNConnorsMom

Erin and Connor are 2 yrs apart, and that was great spacing for them.  Erin is a really easy kiddo, though, and I think any spacing would have been fine.  Connor and Kate are closer to 3 yrs apart, and it was ok.  They're both kind of demanding (at least compared to Erin!) and it was a rough start.  It was nice that Erin was a year old and less dependant on me, so I guess I would lean more toward a 3 yr gap, unless you have a better reason to do the 2 yr gap!

lilpiglet

DS1 and DS2 are 2.5 years apart, I wanted them closer together like 1.5-2 years apart, but with building a house, that didn't work, anyway to answer your question, I would say 2 years apart. I wouldn't want my 2nd and 3rd one to be any farther apart then my 1st and 2nd.  I think if the gap to the 3rd one is bigger then the gap to the 2nd one then there might be more getting along, playing with each other "issues".  I dunno maybe i'm just being weird..haha.. If we have a 3rd though, I would like the age gap to be 2.5 years. 

Ciarrai

I love the 2 year difference, obviously.  The first 6 months are really hard like you said.  Can't say how it will go this time around but at least the girls can play together more and DD#1 can help with little things.  I love how close the girls are and how well they play together.  If we have a fourth, I would want to do the same spacing again.  It's totally exhausting when they're sick or when they all want something at the same time, but I just think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.  The first six months don't last that long and they're a blur from the sleep deprivation anyway.    Things get easier as they can play and interact. 

ETA - I agree with shopgirl about them not remembering a time when the younger one wasn't there.  I forgot how quickly DD#1 forgot not having DD#2 around but thinking back it was within a few weeks (if not days).  At 2 years and less, they adjust so quickly and forget the time without the baby.  They might be jealous of the attention and whatnot, but they don't remember the baby not being there or want to "give them back" or anything because they're just there if that makes any sense.  DD#1 will definitely remember when DS was born and him coming home and he is new, but she doesn't remember when DD#2 was born and gets confused when we try to explain she's done with before.

shopgirl78

We did the two year thing.  I really liked it for #1 and #2.  Love how close my kiddos are and how well they play together and I really don't think either remember a time without each other....so far its been okay for #2 and #3, I like that they boys will be two grades apart.  I like the even spacing since I am 99% sure we are done (and well DH is 100% done).  

shouldbworkin

I couldn't do two 2 years apart again.  Ages 1 and 3 kicked my butt.  So, our #3 will be 3+ years apart from #2.  I do like that I won't have 3 kids in college at once.

Angela814

I'm hoping to do 2 yrs for #2 and #3. Would have done it btwn #1 and #2 if we could have. Now that's assuming I can convince DH that he wants 3. And I suppose assuming I will also want a #3 since I'm still pg with #2. Right now I just don't feel like I'll be done with 2.

Jodi&Joe

I don't know but I can't wait until you get pg so you can stop obsessing about this! 

This is EXACTLY how I would have been if I had opted to have #3.  Do I?  Don't I?  When?  Where?  How?  When? Do I?  Maybe I already am.  Maybe I'm not.  Maybe I shouldn't.  When? 

And man, am I ever glad that I decided not to have a third!   

AngelaSue

DD #1 and DS are 19 months apart. DS and DD #2 are ~27 months apart. My oldest two play great together and DS is also really good with the baby, it's a tough call!

Chrisy-Wyobride

3yrs or more...coming from someone who has 3 each about 2.25yrs apart.  It's hard, I wish DD#1 was in school fulltime...having 3 at home 6.5hours alone sucks.

mamarazzi

Jodi&Joe:

I don't know but I can't wait until you get pg so you can stop obsessing about this! 

This is EXACTLY how I would have been if I had opted to have #3.  Do I?  Don't I?  When?  Where?  How?  When? Do I?  Maybe I already am.  Maybe I'm not.  Maybe I shouldn't.  When? 

And man, am I ever glad that I decided not to have a third!   

I know, I know.  I'm annoying.  I've just decided to embrace my annoyance when it comes to ttc #3, though.  Besides, what would the One Star Wonder have to rate if I didn't post incessantly about it?

We know we want another and love the 2 year spacing, but we just don't feel ready yet (and we're using protection, haters).

REOM

Our plan it to TTC#3 around this time next year, which would put #2 and #3 at 3 years apart.

While I love that my girls are so close, I wouldn't want to do it again. I am enjoying Emi so much at this age, and I feel like I missed out on Gina being this age b/c I was miserable pregnant.

 Also, for financial reasons, I wouldn't want to have 3 in daycare, college or even private HS together.  I also don't want 2 in diapers/cribs again.

Good luck with your decision! TTC#3 is both exciting and terrifying!

MoRoseT

Not doing this 2 yr age difference again....no WAY.

 If we have a 3rd...we are looking at a 3-4 yr age difference. I want to wait until DD is in school full-time and we can have DS in preschool, leaving me at home with only 1 child for the major part of the day. I just can't do 2 little ones at home again....I was MISERABLE last year.

adri77

DS1 and 2 are 21 months apart.  I thought the first 6 months were a BREEZE....so that's not what i'm worried about with #3.  I'm having one hell of a time now, they are 3 years 2 months and 16 months.  My #2 and #3 need to be at least 3 years apart, probably more.