stressed out--need encouragement/advice

arob2009

I got pregnant while in my last year of lawschool, so I just started my career on Jan. 4th, when my son was about 2.5 months old.  So I am almost a month into work and I am feeling soo stressed out!  My stress has gotten to the point where it is manifesting itself physically (acne & severe heartburn).

There are a few things that are stressing me out, but I am going to start with one that you might have insight about:  I feel like the house is always a wreck.  It's really starting to stress me out becaus I know my son will be moving around more and more and I want everything to be safe and clean for him.

My husband only works about half time, sometimes less.  When he's not working he's usually watching our son.  He's really helpful about sweeping & mopping and will usually do whatever I ask of him. 

Still, I feel like there is just always clutter everywhere.  I was used to being home most of the day for months while I was pregnant/studying/taking care of baby.  Now, I am home for only about 13 hours a day and I am for 8 of those to be in bed!

I need some strategies to help keep things straight and clean around the house with limited time.

 How do you do it?

jenn_darrin1515

I find those bins/baskets to be a life saver for clutter...we have bins for the girls toys so we can just put all their toys in there at the end of the day...a little one for bills/mail...another one for random paperwork...and the most important one of all is for my dh...he comes home and puts so much sh!t on the counter...paper, notes, screws/bolts...so I gave him his own special bin for all his crap and I find it really helps contain the kitchen clutter..and most every night we take 10 minutes and do a quick pickup...it helps...good luck and congrats on your new career!

BoxTer

Hire a housekeeper. Stat. It's a great investment and will let you focus on more important things like time with your husband and son.

madhatter2003

For clutter..I've *really* tried to cut back on the amount of crap that sits around. i got rid of a LOT of stuff.  I try to keep all horizontal surfaces clear, otherwise it just piles up like crazy.

I go through mail each night and immediately toss, put in bill file, or put where it needs to go if it's something to keep like coupons, etc.

I have baskets, baskets, and more baskets around the living room for toys. Each night I go around and pick up the toys and put them in their right basket (one for balls, one for toy cars, one for kitchen toys, one for books, etc).

I try to vacuum and dust weekly in the main rooms, especially while DS was crawling.

Bathrooms I take every shortcut possible...I have the shower sprayer cleaner stuff from scrubbing bubbles, toilets have gel cleaner in them all the time, etc. 

The kitchen I tidy up each night while the kids are in bed, again it's easy if you keep all horizontal surfaces clear to spray cleaner and wipe down while setting the coffee pot, etc.

arob2009

BoxTer:

Hire a housekeeper. Stat. It's a great investment and will let you focus on more important things like time with your husband and son.

this would be my dream come true!! :-) Unfortunately, one of my other stresses is money--crappy insurance during pregnancy= lots of medical bills + student loans, debt incurred in college & a DH that doesn't work too much. 

Although he says he'll be the housekeeper if I pay him an allowance, I always say yes, since I'd share the $ with him anyway. Too bad he doesn't do as good a job as a real housekeeper would do (as is obvious from the OP!) :-)

tosababy

Have you heard of flylady.com?  I've never used it myself, but I've heard great things from people.  Apparently she's got a program to make sure everything gets cleaned in rotation.  Perhaps you could look into that as a guide for your husband to follow.  It sounds like you need to delegate cleaning to him and he needs some sort of program to follow.

Also, hang in there and don't be afraid to let some things slide.  I'm sure you and your husband watch your son carefully.  I highly doubt that there is anything unsafe in your home. 

It is also really tough to adjust to life after law school, especially if you're in private practice.  Give yourself a break.  Work hard, but give yourself some down time too, rather than worrying about the house when you get home.

Best wishes!  Please come back any time.  There are lots of us who have been there and are still there! 

katesmom73

I agree with the baskets.  Michael's has some really nice baskets that look nice in my living room.  When my dd was younger, I would throw everything in there.  Also, I had to let go to some extent.  I hate clutter and it still drives me freaking crazy some days but you cannot do everything.  The only time our house is spit spot clean is when we have guests.  Otherwise, it's lived in.

arob2009

jenn_darrin1515:

I find those bins/baskets to be a life saver for clutter...we have bins for the girls toys so we can just put all their toys in there at the end of the day...a little one for bills/mail...another one for random paperwork...and the most important one of all is for my dh...he comes home and puts so much sh!t on the counter...paper, notes, screws/bolts...so I gave him his own special bin for all his crap and I find it really helps contain the kitchen clutter..and most every night we take 10 minutes and do a quick pickup...it helps...good luck and congrats on your new career!

 

This is such an obvious & great suggestion!  Especially the part about getting a bin for DH--he's always got crap he's just throwing on the counter

Pesky

Ditto everyone with bins -- huge saver there.  You can get some cheap ones that keep the toys still accessible for DS but off the floor (makes for easy cleaning too) like these:

https://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11489354&whse=BC&Ne=4000000&eCat=BC|25429|62822|62820&N=4019977&Mo=15&pos=4&No=13&Nr=P_CatalogName:BC&cat=62820&Ns=P_Price|1||P_SignDesc1&lang=en-US&Sp=C&ec=BC-EC25415-Cat62822&topnav=

And then some regular baskets and bins for everything else.  Another thing to help that your DH might be more into is sorting and storing outgrown baby things.  Get some storage bins and assign that task to your DH.  Mine gets really into those kind of projects versus scrubbing the tub.  And divvy up tasks -- find out what housekeeping chores he doesn't mind doing versus ones he hates and you don't mind picking up.  For example, I don't mind cleaning the bathrooms -- not a fav but I get it done quickly.  DH hates it but doesn't mind straightening and vacuuming and loading and unloading the dishwasher.  Then make a standard chore list/schedule with DH so things get done on time.  Finally realize it will never be as clean as before you had a kid.  Unless you have a live-in maid.  Sometimes the sacrifices are worth it! GL!!

And FYI, how I do it?  I have a maid service.  I hate cleaning personally and I'm a bit further on in my career than you (10 years out).  But for routine stuff, DH and I have divided and conquered and it works well.

snickerdoodle27

A cluttered house stresses me out too. During the week it's not too bad, but weekends it's a mess. Sunday is my clean up day. All the toys get put away and the floor gets vacuumed. We found storage units with canvas totes which are great. At the end of the day one of us will do some general straightening, like folding blankets, picking toys up, etc. I keep up with what I have to during the week and let other things slide. I've definitely learned to let some things go. I had to, or I was going to drive myself nuts!

katorigasuki

hire someone to do the heavy duty cleaning.  if you can afford it, it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

it will also force you to pick up after yourselves and put things away.