<--- is trying to "Give it to God" right now but apparently, He's not accepting! — The Bump
Secondary IF

&lt;--- is trying to &quot;Give it to God&quot; right now but apparently, He's not accepting!

I'm really trying to be at peace right now with news I just found out today....I know we all have these days and I'll get over it and be okay at some near-future point but I just need to say this out loud to someone who "gets" it. 

A friend of mine, who is about 70+ lbs over weight & rarely ever has sex (and is open and admitting about this) and JUST got her IUD out 3 cycles ago is pregnant....she had sex 1x this month on CD 21 (her cycles are usually 29 days) and somehow f^cking got PG. She's been OBSESSED about gettiing PG (even though her 1st was a "surprise") but no charting, no temping, no OPKs, no fertility monitor, nothing....just 1 time sex (quickie sex at that - and yes, she tells me TOO MUCH INFORMATION!) on a supposedly totally "off" day. Her period has been late and she was CONVINCED she was pregnant, texting me asking me to "pray for my pregnancy" and all of this sh!t (pre +HPT) and I was, in my head, thinking...."you're really incredibally insensitive to text me to pray for your hypothetical pregnancy when you FRICKEN KNOW I CAN'T GET PREGNANT!".

Then tonight she texts me to ask if she can take percoset in PG and I text back "ARE YOU PREGNANT?!" and she doesn't answer but asks again. So I said, "Its a class C and I wouldn't" and she called me to tell me she got a + HPT (on the FRER) and then sent me a pic and certain as sh!t, there's a line!


There's nothing like being the wife of a totally unemployed, sick, whiney, TOTAL baby of a man (because he's sick), having a very sick daughter, trying to pack up and sell off all of your worldly posessions, moving truck comes in 3 days and you have no help doing any of it, picking up snot rags in the wake of everyone in yoru house, no IF coverage, NOT pregnant but yet my friend who does NOTHING but everything that everyone says NOT to and she gets pregnant....FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC!


Re: &amp;lt;--- is trying to &amp;quot;Give it to God&amp;quot; right now but apparently, He's not accepting!

  • Wow sommer... /hugs 

    I'm sorry your life is in the crapper right now. I would help if I could

    P.S. I know being overweight can hinder your fertility (sadly I'm overweight) but what does her weight have to do with your frustration of her pregnancy? I'm not trying to be rude or anything, just curious/not understanding

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  • (((HUGS))))  Although I will admit I did laugh at that whole sex thing and your friend...  

    Seriously when I was dealing with my Secondary IF journey I had times when I was tested.  The month before my BFP 5 people close to me announced pregnancies.  3 were accidents.  My heart was so broken.  But it was God's way of testing me before my time was to come.  Hang in there.  It will be worth it!

    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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  • I'm sorry for your troubles as well.

    I'm just wondering....this is at least your second post about being upset that an overweight friend is pregnant.  While I haven't said anything previously, I'm starting to take it a little personally.  I apologize in advance if this is rude, but I feel that I'm just as justified getting pregnant as you are even though I'm no where near my idea weight.  

    Good luck with all of your emotions. 

  • And to boot, her husband "doesn't believe the test" because "that line could mean anything".....uhhhh, HOW IN THE WORLD COULD YOU BE SO STUPID AND STILL PROCREATE!
  • Weight is a HUGE HUGE HUGE factor in getting pregnant....any RE or OB who says different is lying to you. Your body functions best and most efficiently in a certain "health range" - how do I know this? Because I'm overweight. Because I've researched my ass off (no pun intended!) about this and its true for a vast majority of people. Almost every person with PCOS is overweight or has struggled with weight.

    Its nature, its the way the human race has moved forward in procreation. "Survival of the fittest".

    You shouldn't feel offended. It is just a real and natural factor that SHOULD HAVE detered pregnancy (and yes, I know that there are HUGE HUGE HUGE women who pop out 11 million babies - I'm not saying this is a steadfast rule but it IS a factor for a vast majority of the population). That's why I mentioned her weight.
  • PS - Not a single person should think this is rude, mean or me saying someone "deserves" pregnancy more than another person....If you're in that mindset, you should go read my response to the "IF ENTITLEMENT" thread below....
  • I'm sorry you seem to have a toxic friend.  I have one who seems to like to needle me a lot, because she couldn't possibly say as many insensitive things about fertility on accident, right? :)
    Married 9-4-04

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  • imagequeenbone:
    I'm sorry you seem to have a toxic friend.  I have one who seems to like to needle me a lot, because she couldn't possibly say as many insensitive things about fertility on accident, right? :)

    I really think my friend is just clueless. She'll say things like, "I know you're going through 'treatments' (air quotes and all!) but for the rest of us...." "I know you are having a hard time getting pregnant but God will do what he sees fit", etc, etc, etc.

    I don't think she's necessarily toxic, just clueless and classless and tacky.
  • Ugh....I am so sorry. :o(
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  • ::exhaling with you!::  Yikes!!!

    I'm so sorry. :(  How insensitive. :(

    I wish I could mail you my arms to help you pack and blow noses (DH's included!)!

    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07


    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
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  • Wow girlie, you're having a rough time.  I guess it's a perfect storm. :(  I hope things get better soon.  Your move might be just what you need to get a fresh start.  I hope this is your last move for a while.

    My H is a whiny baby when sick too.  We're going through it right now.  I'm about to go nuts because we have the same head cold, but somehow his is the worst cold in the history of mankind and my cold is just a little virus.  I'm acting as a single parent right now b/c of his runny nose.  If I ever have a son, I'm going to tell him to "man up" when it comes to being sick.  I don't want his future wife to deal with this kind of crap. LOL  I guess that's my rant. :)

    Your friend sounds insensitive and clueless.  She's probably never had a rough patch in her life.  I find that the most insensitive people are that way b/c they've never had a hard time and simply just don't know how bad it can be.

    This is what my pastor told me once and it really helped. ==> When someone's house burns to the ground and all the neighbors wonder what he did to get the wrath of God, that he always thinks God must really love that guy.  Why?  Because God allows bad things to happen to us, so that we are compelled to come closer to Him. 

    disclaimer:  That doesn't mean God doesn't love those who have it easy.  God loves us all.

    That's honestly how I get through this stuff.  You'll get through this too.  And...you'll get through this with an even better relationship with God.

    ((hugs))  Let me know if you ever need to talk, vent, cry, etc...

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  • I am so sorry.  ::hugs::
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  • I am sorry you're having such a rough time right now. I hope things ease up soon. Sorry about the ignorant friend.Sad
    DD born 8/24/07
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  • Ugh, I'm sorry.

    I think that it's hard to retain perspective when things hit this close to home but the reality is that she surely has all sorts of challenges you don't, and you have challenges she doesn't. We all walk our own path, you know?

    Sorry about everything else going on, too! It sounds like you're under a lot of stress right now.

    FWIW, I was diagnosed at age 15 at about 100 lbs. I think that overweight women are often misdiagnosed with PCOS because it's become sort of a catch-all diagnosis. IF issues definitely result from being overweight, but it bugs me how many doctors will just call it PCOS without meeting any real diagnostic criteria. Grr.

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