- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
Hardest parenting decision yet.
We're back and forth on what to do with ds for kindergarten next year: keeping him in his private school, homeschooling, trying to get into a public charter school and regular public school are all options being considered.
Dh and I just are finding it so difficult to make a decision- we both agree that this is by FAR the absolute most challenging parenting decision we've had to make since our kids have been born.
We've made lists with all the pros and cons- they lists are different for each school, but there's still no clear-cut best option. It's so nerve-wracking and I'm literally worrying myself sick over it- I've been so stressed about making the best decision for our family that I start to feel this uncomfortable pit in my stomach.
I had no idea that the school thing was going to be THIS hard.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Hardest parenting decision yet.
School decisions are really hard. We had a tough one last year and a tough one this year (and because I'm a planner, I'm already agonizing about one we'll have to make in 2 years!).
Do you have any gut instinct?
Can you talk to parents who have kids in the actual schools?
GL!
I hear you. Our district does open enrollment, so we have a lot of options (public, charter, bilingual immersion, etc.). DD isn't even 4 yet, but open enrollment is in January so we only have another year (and it will be a busy year with the new baby) to figure out what we want.
I just keep thinking that we can always switch her to something different if our final choice doesn't end up being the right one.
I'm with you on this one. I've really been stressing about whether public school is the best option. Our best private option is a montessori but I'm concerned about the cost, especially considering we have another little one that will be going to school in a few years.
I think what we've decided is to go the public school route and then we'll have extra cash for whatever extracurriculars dd desires. I made dh promise me that if Kinder. doesn't go awesome at public school we'll seek out something else for the next year.
I really just want dd to get off to a good start. She loves her pre-school and cries if she is sick and has to miss a day. I want her to keep loving learning!
I would only do private school if I HAD to. Too expensive. HS'ing is not for me (to put it mildly). I would do PS or charter PS. I'd need to know more about the charter, I guess.
I'm sure my opinion is v. important to you
Did you have a bad experience with school yourself? I can't identify with the worry. Maybe b/c in Ireland we didn't really have any options. You just go to school.
Ha, yeah. He thinks school is boring and wants to stay home so he can have all-day, everyday playdates with his best buddy, play video games and dress-up in costumes. He fails to understand when we explain that his best friend will be in school all day regardless of what we choose to do.
Ian started Kinder when I was in law school and the town where we lived had "schools of choice". There were 11 elementary schools and instead of just going to the one closest to where you lived you got to choose. You filled out an application with your top 3 and then they placed you. All of the schools had open houses and meetings and each school had a "focus". It was unbelievably nervewracking. I said at the time that choosing a college would definitely be easier than choosing a Kindergarten.
I have no advice, but I know how you feel.
We are having the same problem deciding on a Kindergarten. I THINK we are just going to send him to the public school in our neighborhood, but there are a lot of issues to consider.
Ice cream helps with the uncomfortable pit in your stomach.
Not really. I don't have fond memories of childhood and being in school, but that was more related to having a focked_up home life than anything else. I was just a pretty miserable kid all around.
My issue with public school is that it just seems so stifling- elementary school is pretty much a one-size-fits-all program. Not a lot of opportunity to explore the child's own interests and strengths (and areas that need improved), everyone is for the most part expected to work at the same pace. Plus, lots of budget cuts around here and the school system is in a pretty desperate situation. Lots of teachers being let go, class sizes increasing, programs being cut, etc. But- it's free. And they provide transportation. And I pay property taxes. And well, maybe there's something to be said about just sucking it up and dealing with the unpleasantries because that's life.
From what you just said to D, ideally you'd want him in Montessori. Isn't that where he is now? I know it's $$$ though.
I guess given your situation/options I'd choose to either keep him in Montessori, or find the charter/public school that is closest to it. Can you crash some open houses to get a better feel for them ?
He's in Montessori now, but yes, it's mainly a money issue especially since we'll soon have 2 kids in school. And a transportation issue: it's not super-close to our home, there's no one to carpool with and I spend a good chunk of every afternoon just driving back and forth. It's a good fit for him though.
As for public school, we don't have a school option choice. We go to the school for our district, period. Ours is not horrible, but it's not great either. Just so-so. Very average.
There is one charter school that just opened and it sounds interesting but there are concerns with it as well: this year (2009-10) is it's first year so it doesn't have much of a track record (good or bad), no transportation, and they have a longer school day. They start school earlier than the other schools in the area and are let out a little later in the afternoon. It wouldn't leave much time for family stuff and extracurriculars. And unless I found a new job, I would be unable to get him to school on time every morning since they start so early and I'm still not home from work yet when their classes begin (I work nights). Statistically, it's also unlikely that he would get a spot there anyhow- they do a totally random lottery of all applicants and last year I believe they had a couple hundred students apply for 30 kindergarten spots.
The budget cuts scare me too. But, my public and private school teacher friends have told me that kids that are advanced or behind have a better chance in public school where they have(had?) the resources to help them. In private school, they don't have the extra money for those sorts of things. I know plenty of kids that have gone on to do great things after public school and plenty of kids that went on to do nothing after private school. That is where I think the parents really come in.
I'm starting to feel really lucky. We can't afford montessori or other private schools (though there's one at the end of my street.. GAH this kills me). We have 2 public choices - one is a magnet school for the arts, the other is spanish immersion k-5. I asked her last week & she said she wants to learn spanish. It's only 4 blocks away, too. Done and done.
I don't know Cleo. I'd still try for the charter I think!
Based on his opinion, I'm thinking homeschooling might not be the best option unless you are going with a homeschool coop. I am thinking he may have a hard time understanding that even though he's home he can't just play and have fun, but has to spend x hours doing school work. I had a work from home job for a while that didn't work out because I had trouble maintaining a separation between work and home and had difficulty focusing. A coop might help with that though.
Ideally I would keep him at the Montessori if he's thriving there, but I can also see where the difficulties lie. I would love for my children to go to a montessori and think DD1 would really thrive there (no idea about DD2 yet). The charter doesn't sound like a great option to me, so I think if you decide against the montessori I would do regular public and use time with him to enrich his education yourself.