I'm tired of people saying there is a clique

TheSkimmy

Because I'm pretty sure you are implying that I'm in it. Yes, I get A LOT of replies to my posts... but if you look under my name <----- you will see that I post A LOT. I am on this board and only this board 99% of the time. So the people that are getting my posts are you guys. I try to post on ever post that I can shed some light on and offer my congrats and well wishes. No offense- but the people that claim that no one posts on their posts... how many actual posts have you responded to? Yes I get more replies- but I also put myself out there for people to know my story and what I'm about. I bet most people feel like they know my personality. I can't say the same for everyone on this board... that's fine. But then don't complain when you don't get 25 replies to your- what's labor like post or whatever it is. If people don't know you they aren't going to spend their time posting an answer if you've already gotten a great reply or two. They can't add a personal story or tidbit if they don't think you'd understand it unlike someone that "knows" them. 

If you want more replies... all I'm saying is put yourself out there! I bet if people got to know you better you'd create more friendship and get more answers!  BTW- it really helps when the girls moving over from IF to SAIF share their story and a little about themselves- and us old girls can do the same!!!! 

ok I'm sure I'll get some flames... go ahead not really in the mood tonight to care if you don't like my opinion!!!  :-) 

P.S. if your screen name is complicated or filled with numbers there is NO way I'm going to ever remember it to page you even if I want to! Just my $.02

mrsolsenk12

Well said Skim!!! It is true that there are SAIFers that I "know" better than others and I agree that the ones who post a lot, are ones that I will be more likely to respond to. I don't always get a lot of replies to my posts but this isn't a compitition to see who can get the most responses. Sometimes only 1 or 2 replies is all I need. That is just me though.

gabbeyh

JillRock96

I agree with you 100%.

There are some posts that I try hard to respond to no matter who the poster is (like congrats and welcome posts, losses, sad news, etc.).  And when there is a question asked that I can shed some light on, I try to post.  But I'm not able to be on as much as I used to (stupid work!  the sites are blocked!), and if I know I only have time to nest for half an hour or so, of course I tend to respond to people I feel like I "know."

I think in general, if you post often and reply to others posts, and give people a chance to get to "know" you, you'll get replies to your own posts.  Think about it -- popular nesties became "popular" for a reason -- they show their faces!

TheSkimmy

BTW- I was also going to mention that I'm on here EVERYDAY I stay signed in and I read almost every post. I have never taken a break from being here- I actually posted the whole time I was laboring at home before I even woke DH up to tell him it was time. I have gone through so much with you guys and probably share way too much also... I feel like you guys are family and I treat you like family and I thank you for treating me like family!!! 

Christakim

Are you eluding to what I said in Skoorb's post?

LVBlvd

Whatever, Skim.  You are totally the head of the clique.  Regina George from Mean Girls.

: )

I hate that some people feel this board is clique-ish.  I can do better at responding to more posts. 

TheSkimmy

LVBlvd:

Whatever, Skim.  You are totally the head of the clique.  Regina George from Mean Girls.

: )

I hate that some people feel this board is clique-ish.  I can do better at responding to more posts. 

I'm sorry... who are you? Did I tell you that you could speak? LOL jk! 

JillRock96

mrsolsenk12:

I don't always get a lot of replies to my posts but this isn't a compitition to see who can get the most responses. Sometimes only 1 or 2 replies is all I need. That is just me though.

I think this is true, too.  Sometimes I have a question that literally needs one or two responses.  A dozen responses saying "ditto" are great, but not necessary.  If I open a post to answer a question, and it has already been answered well, I don't feel the need to restate the same thing all over again. 

shipoopiisforme

i think the nature of most message boards are that there are going to be cliques. there are some people who are on more often and have the ability to reply to more posts and therefore get more posts in return.

lately i think most of the girls coming over from if have made a pretty big effort in terms of posting and "making friends." the nature of the board though is that we don't have much to ad to parenting posts but most of you can reply to the pregnancy questions we have. however the replies are still pretty disproportionate.

i don't really get hurt or offended by this though. i understand a lot of girls here don't know me or others, and have known each other for a long time and are therefore more likely to reply to each other's posts.

LVBlvd

TheSkimmy:

LVBlvd:

Whatever, Skim.  You are totally the head of the clique.  Regina George from Mean Girls.

: )

I hate that some people feel this board is clique-ish.  I can do better at responding to more posts. 

I'm sorry... who are you? Did I tell you that you could speak? LOL jk! 

Oh, snap! I'll make sure to ask the queen bee next time!! 

JillRock96

shipoopiisforme:

lately i think most of the girls coming over from if have made a pretty big effort in terms of posting and "making friends." the nature of the board though is that we don't have much to ad to parenting posts but most of you can reply to the pregnancy questions we have. however the replies are still pretty disproportionate.

I have to say that I disagree.  I've been really sensitive to this after the last time a few months ago when there was a big debate about splitting the board.  I've been trying to post more to pregnancy questions when I'm on, but I've noticed that a lot of the questions about parenting (especially early parenting) are the ones that go unanswered.  I do think people are trying to pay more attention to pregnancy posts. 

ela81

I wanna be a cool kid.......can I,  can I, can I!!!!!! I would mean the world to me if you said yes!!!!!!

Oh as far as the screen name I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo computer illiterate I had no idea what the he11 I was doing and that I was going to be stuck with it till the end of time:) BTW- Soo not offended by what you said but I have always felt the need to explain my dang screen name

LVBlvd

shipoopiisforme:

lately i think most of the girls coming over from if have made a pretty big effort in terms of posting and "making friends." the nature of the board though is that we don't have much to ad to parenting posts but most of you can reply to the pregnancy questions we have. however the replies are still pretty disproportionate.

I was one who didn't want a PAIF board because I wanted us to all stay together...I am going to make a bigger effort to respond to pregnancy posts.  

PS - I love it when you post because your screen name makes me smile.  And your sig pic! What a cute couple : ) 

alchris

And the fact is that some of us have known each other for years and/or have children that are closer in age.  Our board is constantly evolving and new "cliques" (in the general sense) come over and we get to know everyone that way.  Newer board members just need to post and they quickly become known better too.  That's not to say that it's OK for people to ignore others, and I very much empathize with people who want their posts to get more responses, but it's understandable that that happens given our busy lives, unfortunately.

TheSkimmy

shipoopiisforme:

i think the nature of most message boards are that there are going to be cliques. there are some people who are on more often and have the ability to reply to more posts and therefore get more posts in return.

lately i think most of the girls coming over from if have made a pretty big effort in terms of posting and "making friends." the nature of the board though is that we don't have much to ad to parenting posts but most of you can reply to the pregnancy questions we have. however the replies are still pretty disproportionate.

i don't really get hurt or offended by this though. i understand a lot of girls here don't know me or others, and have known each other for a long time and are therefore more likely to reply to each other's posts.

I def know you!!! There aren't that many pregnancy posts!!! (I can say that since I'm pregnant again!!) I don't think I've posted anything about this pregnancy so far except for my u/s and betas. However I guess now that I've been through it I don't think there is much for me to talk about- my first pregnancy I acted like I was the first one ever to be pregnant or have given birth! Now as a parent you just don't want to be alone in your feelings- if that makes sense.  

I'm not saying people coming over from IF aren't making an effort- it was an example... there are lots of mom's that pop on and say- I don't post much but... or I'm more of a lurker but... Sometimes I feel like why bother posting if they aren't even going to come back and read my response!!  

alchris

LVBlvd:

PS - I love it when you post because your screen name makes me smile.  And your sig pic! What a cute couple : ) 

Me too -- cute pics are a great way for people to remember who everyone is!  Your kind posts, shipoopiisforme, always stand out to me because I can picture you -- I love that you just dove right in here.

I'd love to know what your screen name means, BTW!

skoorbnibor

shipoopiisforme:

i don't really get hurt or offended by this though. i understand a lot of girls here don't know me or others, and have known each other for a long time and are therefore more likely to reply to each other's posts.

I am going to totally honestly say that I don't know your story.... but I want to! and that is the hard part... I would love to hear all about what got you here! We need intros! Maybe we can make that a sticky!! (I am giddy with the sticky power! lol)

as far as the parenting thing, I think you are right, it is hard to comment until you are there... but keep in mind that what you said is correct, we have known each other longer and therefore do reply even if we have nothing to say. I am glad that doesnt upset you (as a relative newcomer!) because it is not intended to, in any way!

I also read every post and reply to many... right now I have 6 windows open to reply to!!  Ultimately though, we can ALL do better, I think

 

shipoopiisforme

i don't disagree skim. i think some girls get their panties in a bunch b/c their posts don't get a lot of replies. like others said i don't care how many replies i get as long as i get an answer.

i feel like on every active message board full of women every once in a while there is a sentiment that there is a "clique." i wish i had more time to post. when i was cycling i posted so much more (on if) and now i am drowning at work b/c i need to get all my ducks in a row since i have no idea when i will have to go out or when i will come back. i miss the days where i could read and reply to every post!

Smudges*Mom

Message boards are a two way street. Right or wrong, the way to get support is to give support.  Let people get to know you.  If someone posts once or twice, doesn't get the response they want, its not fair to call the board cliquey, IMO.  It takes effort to build relationships.  I remember being on IF and being so frustrated with drive-by BFPs.  Its the same kind of thing.

Mrs.Babbsy

I agree with you. I hope I am in your club though:) hehe

I am assuming I ruffle some feathers because the OSB loves my post so much:)

gabbeyh

I don't think there is a clique, some people post more than others.  Some people have met IRL, or are from the same location.  I agree with you, the more you respond, the more responses you will get...if that is important to people.

skoorbnibor

alchris:

Me too -- cute pics are a great way for people to remember who everyone is!  Your kind posts, shipoopiisforme, always stand out to me because I can picture you -- I love that you just dove right in here.

I'd love to know what your screen name means, BTW!

Excellent point A! and Shipoopi... I think your pic is really cute, you are adorable! we need belly pics, soon, please!

TheSkimmy

Mrs.Babbsy:

I agree with you. I hope I am in your club though:) hehe

I am assuming I ruffle some feathers because the OSB loves my post so much:)

Babs.. you are in my club!!! Is it pink???  ohh I have to check... I hope the OSB got to me??

BTW everyone... I'm lame and on here way too much -especially at night- but I'm a widow to Mafia Wars!!

Shipoop- I get it- get those ducks in a row and keep those babies healthy and cooking!! I appreciate you being honest as one of the only pregnant ladies in this conversation!!!  

Mrs.Babbsy

Duh of course it's pink!

GypsyEsq

I might have implied there was a clique-like tendency for posts and responses on this board -- that's actually not what I meant.  (But can I just say "thank you" for spelling clique right?).  What I meant, in case anyone cares, is that re: feeling comfortable posting/speaking your mind, some people are better at that and are almost looked to for that response if you will.  I expect certain folks to respond to sleep training posts, bed rest posts, bleeding during pregnancy posts, etc...  And I think those of us that are here day in day out know that.  So sometimes I don't add any of my $.02 because I know someone else will take care of it And some of those posts are popular, I think, just because everyone does have an opinion...and...oh hell, I don't know.  I just love it when people quote me.  That is all.

alchris

GypsyEsq:

I might have implied there was a clique-like tendency for posts and responses on this board -- that's actually not what I meant.  (But can I just say "thank you" for spelling clique right?).  What I meant, in case anyone cares, is that re: feeling comfortable posting/speaking your mind, some people are better at that and are almost looked to for that response if you will.  I expect certain folks to respond to sleep training posts, bed rest posts, bleeding during pregnancy posts, etc...  And I think those of us that are here day in day out know that.  So sometimes I don't add any of my $.02 because I know someone else will take care of it And some of those posts are popular, I think, just because everyone does have an opinion...and...oh hell, I don't know.  I just love it when people quote me.  That is all.

Quote! 

skoorbnibor

GypsyEsq:

I just love it when people quote me.  That is all.

and here ya go!

TheSkimmy

No I didn't start this post because of anything 1 person said.. It was more something that's been said and had been bothering me! It was more about people saying that their posts don't get answered and I wanted to share my opinion!

GypsyEsq

Hahaha!  Thanks alchris right back atcha!

alchris

GypsyEsq:

Hahaha!  Thanks alchris right back atcha!

Thanks, GypsyEsq, and cheers!   I'm glad you saw it...and now this one too!