I am having a bad IF week :(

Mrs.Johns

I think I might be depressed, which is very much not like me. I was such a trooper during the last IVF, I guess because I *knew* it was going to work. This time I am scared, worried, stressed out and anxiety ridden.

I am so sensitive all the time, any little thing sets me off. I dreamt about my eggs all night- never getting a diagnosis just kept waiting for the embryologist to call.

I am just dying to get this cycle started and my stupid period is not coming. I am worried I am going to have a cyst because I never ovulated before Lupron (they put me on Provera- which I am sure is adding to my craziness).

I keep crying. I just feel like a fricking mess., I am overwhelmed by everything that is just regular life (figuring out what is for dinner, laundry, my birthday party, cleaning). This is so much harder than last time.

I know once I know if my eggs are normal or not I will be fine. Thanks for letting me vent. I am just so scared this isn't going to work.

ccbanana

Hi MJ.  I feel like I could have written all of that.    I do think the Provera makes things worse.

I wish I had the right things to say to make things better.  The best I can advise is not to get mad at yourself for being scared or depressed.  It's all part of the ride, unfortunately.  Let yourself go through all of the emotions. 

I am sending AF dust your way, and prayers, and e-hugs.

xo

MrsP71506

I'm sorry that you are having such a bad week.  Sometimes it is hard not to worry about everything and I have totally felt that way before. 

I am really hoping that this cycle is going to work for you!!!  You deserve better news than your last cycle

good luck 

(((hugs)))

Blasianlove

I am sorry you are having a bad week love. Stay strong and keep your head up. I wish you all the luck in the world and pray your eggs are just fine.

::big hugs::

Marie6

I'm so sorry. I hate IF for what it does to all of us. So unfair. ((hugs))

Tarahville

I'm so sorry honey. I hate IF and I hate the way that it makes us feel. Sending you many, many ((hugs)).

anangelbug

Venting here is good, it gets it all out!  I know it's easier than said but try and remain positive and not stress.  The added stress serves no good purpose.  I agree, the waiting and unkown and anticipation is the WORST.  Hang in there...((hugs))

Mrs.Johns

Thanks guys. I really appreciate you being here for me. It just is so not fair that any of us have to ever feel this way nevermind while being medicated with the crazies.

((hugs)) to all of you. xoxo

mrslovebug

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I completely understand.  I really hope this works for you!

gymnst1013

Hugs, hugs and more hugs.  I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.  All the waiting for everything is just awful.  I really hope you can get started very soon - I'm sure you'll start to feel better once you do!

EM me whenever you want to if you need to vent, scream, cry or whatever. 

Oh, and more (((hugs)))

Omega20

((((((hugs))))))

I think the waiting period is almost as stressful as the cycle itself.  I really hope you feel better once things get going.  I'll be thinking about you.

floridakat

I'm sorry this cycle is so rough for you. I agree that the pain of IF combined with the meds they jack us up on are an evil combination. (((hugs)))

MissNikki007

Oh MrsJ, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I really hope AF shows the hell up so you can get going. ((HUGS))

Here, have some cake:

Mrs.Johns

MissNikki007:

Oh MrsJ, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I really hope AF shows the hell up so you can get going. ((HUGS))

Here, have some cake:

lol Thanks, Nikki. You made me laugh.. I wish I could eat some cake right now. Maybe I will make myself something really fattening when I get home.

BTW- on top of all of this bs I am all teary at my desk and the guy is here fixing the copier, he is going to think I am a whack job when I have to sign for it.

Blasianlove

Mrs.Johns:

MissNikki007:

Oh MrsJ, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I really hope AF shows the hell up so you can get going. ((HUGS))

Here, have some cake:

lol Thanks, Nikki. You made me laugh.. I wish I could eat some cake right now. Maybe I will make myself something really fattening when I get home.

BTW- on top of all of this bs I am all teary at my desk and the guy is here fixing the copier, he is going to think I am a whack job when I have to sign for it.

Just tell him your pet turtle died if he looks at you weird.

SkyBee

I am so sorry, but it will be okay! Don't lose hope I have been really sad too, but probably not like you, but it makes me sad to think about women hurting and being sad about infertility......I am so so so sorry! Have a brownie with ice cream on top

Mrs.Johns

gymnst1013:

Hugs, hugs and more hugs.  I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.  All the waiting for everything is just awful.  I really hope you can get started very soon - I'm sure you'll start to feel better once you do!

EM me whenever you want to if you need to vent, scream, cry or whatever. 

Oh, and more (((hugs)))

xoxo

Mrs.Johns

xxbblueangelxx:

Mrs.Johns:

MissNikki007:

Oh MrsJ, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I really hope AF shows the hell up so you can get going. ((HUGS))

Here, have some cake:

lol Thanks, Nikki. You made me laugh.. I wish I could eat some cake right now. Maybe I will make myself something really fattening when I get home.

BTW- on top of all of this bs I am all teary at my desk and the guy is here fixing the copier, he is going to think I am a whack job when I have to sign for it.

Just tell him your pet turtle died if he looks at you weird.

I'll tell him my turtle lost his head. ha

MissNikki007

Mrs.Johns:

BTW- on top of all of this bs I am all teary at my desk and the guy is here fixing the copier, he is going to think I am a whack job when I have to sign for it.

Just give him the stink eye. He'll go away!

SunMoon&Stars

I'm sorry you're having such a crappy week. {{{{hugs}}}}

Blasianlove

Mrs.Johns:

xxbblueangelxx:

Mrs.Johns:

MissNikki007:

Oh MrsJ, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I really hope AF shows the hell up so you can get going. ((HUGS))

Here, have some cake:

lol Thanks, Nikki. You made me laugh.. I wish I could eat some cake right now. Maybe I will make myself something really fattening when I get home.

BTW- on top of all of this bs I am all teary at my desk and the guy is here fixing the copier, he is going to think I am a whack job when I have to sign for it.

Just tell him your pet turtle died if he looks at you weird.

I'll tell him my turtle lost his head. ha

Eww haha

sail123

I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. Hang in there and know that we are here if you need to vent or cry. You'll get through this cycle and it will all be worth it.

Temp305315937507972

I'm sorry you're having a bad week but like others said, keep your head up. IF sucks and is emotionally draining. I hope you get great answers soon. Can you get yourself a treat today on your way home? Maybe a pick me up. Sending you lots of hugs and kisses.

Jill070707

I'm sorry, Mrs. J.  I can understand how worried you are this round.  But hopefully the things they learned the first round will make this one successful!  I hope things get better for you and this is it.  *hugs*

Provera makes me really depressed, as well, so I know that's not helping. 

love2b_mrst

This was my post yesterday...it is so hard to go through all the normal life routine things when the only thing on your mind is IF crap.  I hope that you feel better soon.

Most of the suggestions for me yesterday were to think about making an appt with a counselor or look up RESOLVE meetings.  I did both and am hoping it will help me cope a little better and get back to my normal self.

SweetDahlia

I am sorry you are having a bad week. I can't even imagine how stressful this is. Good Luck with your next cycle.

patchen30

I'm so sorry.  Try and keep yourself distracted and also try not to worry unless you KNOW you have something to worry about.  The Dr. thought the egg issue was b/c of the meds, so just take some stock in that for now.  I know, easier said than done.  (((hugs)))

Mrs.Johns

Thank you so much ladies for your support. I appreciate every single one of you and you all have made me feel a lot better. Thanks.

GenRN45

MrsJ - i could have written that (minus the provera).

I'm still waiting for the results of my RPL and AMH and not knowing if my eggs are okay is KILLING me. It's been more than 2 weeks now. 

This is ALMOST as bad as waiting for that freakin' IVF BFN.

And I understand about the depression. DH is being wonderful - but i'm not like myself right now either - and I don't like who I temporarily (i hope) seem to be.

Jlynn3

Sending you tons of thoughts and prayers!

wiscgirl95

I'm sorry this week is so tough. Hopefully things will turn around and your mood will follow. ((HUGS))

QuiltingBee

Hopefully AF will come knocking soon.  Waiting is horrible.  Best of luck, and I'm sorry that this week has been so horrible for you. 

njdcgirl

((HUGS)).  The unknown is just so, so hard.  That and the waiting would kill anyone!  Only advice I have today is to "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...." 

I actually put that as my status update on FB today, b/c I'm feeling a little bit the same way as you.  ((HUGS)).  You will get past this. 

nikinikinine

MJ vent away hon! We all feel like this at one point or another. I know you are struggling right now, but things will get better. xo